It only appears blue. Nonduality meeting 20 Apr 2025

And Jordan? Hey, man. Hey, man. And apart from that, happy Easter, whatever it means for whoever. It's the beautiful tradition that may be joining people together, or it might be an excuse to verify the common saying, I think, by, what's it, Ram Dass? If you think you're enlightened, spend the weekend with your family. So welcome to our little family, where it's very, very easy to hang out and have enjoyable encounters and nothing is challenged really, because the baseline or the start is that everyone is already present and aware and alive and aware of being present and aware and alive. And if there is any objections to it, we look at the objections and we see that there are nothing but the thought.

So you are always only one thought away from the full realization that is not even obscured by that one thought. So even when the thought comes up, the idea comes up, that there is an I, and that I still doesn't get it, and that I suffers, even that idea doesn't obscure the awareness of presence. If not for the aliveness, that idea couldn'tSo the aliveness, the presence, is the sound on? It's a little bit lower, do you want to just try that? Try this one, okay. See if something's different. Okay. So if that presence wouldn't be there, even the obscuration, even the thought, even the idea of being...

A poor miserable little me that suffers couldn't be possible. So we bring the first things first. The aliveness, the presence, the heart essence, the radiance that is everything there is and that is shining right here and right now in this moment. And nothing can really touch it. It hasn't been born, it can't die. It isn't containable, it isn't objectifiable. It's too low. It's not just... I mean, I don't know what else to do, really. Thank you for clarifying.The awareness of presence is all that we come back to. And there are a thousand ways of pointing to it. The obviousness of this existence is self-evident. And now the obscuration for that self-existence is only same reason.

It can't truly be obscured. So, and the obscuration is an idea, an idea of there still is a me. I understand it. I understand it intellectually. I have to practice more. Maybe it will click. Because to this guy or that lady or that person in the past, it clicked in one big blast when they were eating pizza. What kind of pizza? I want the same pizza. Maybe it will click for me. Well, bad news is there is no me for who it clicks. There is no clicking, there is nothing to click. Everything that happens, including the idea of me, happens in the awareness of presence that you effortlessly already forever are.

If the me arises and the me is persistent and the me is belief into reality and the me is hoping or waiting for some future time in which something happens and there will be more pleasure.So that's the theatre. But the scene, the space, the background in which that theatre, that drama can go on, is untouched. Just like the movie screen is untouched by whatever the movie is playing on the screen. Just like the silence is untouched by any noises that appear in the silence. And we're showing and we're coming back by pointing to the fact that that effortless awareness of presence or that potentiality of knowing is never obscured, is always here.

And in that here,Everything happens in that now, in that forever now-ness, forever here-ness. Past happens, future happens. Seemingly, the dream of the past. The dream of the past arises as the thought or the memory here, in this moment now. The dream of location, the dream of being the body, of being confined between the, what Bob sometimes quoted, Kipling or someone, between the hat and boots. Or within the framework of skin. That this is where I am, inside there somewhere, and this is where I am not, outside somewhere. The illusion of inside and outside. Where is it when you don't think about it? Is there a body if you don't think about it?

Can it be experienced as any sense of limitation if there is no thinking about it?So you can see how the thinking capacity or conceptualization or the translation of whatever the communication between the whole dream, within the whole dream happens. This is the projector, this is the creator of the drama. If not for the narrative, There is just this moment now, ever fresh, seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling, constantly changing, floating. The narrative creates the sense of time. That, oh, I came here at some point, I was born at some point, I experienced trauma at some point, and I have millions of collective stories, cultural stories, tribal stories, family stories.

If I believe in past lives, more stories. And those stories construct the identity. That there is something that I relate to as me. They are my stories, they are my traumas, they are my wounds. But without the thought, where are they? Where is the conditioning? If I don't think about it, it's just the current behavior.It's just the current stimuli response like Thayases showing up on the screen of awareness, in that pure awareness of presence, in that pure knowing. And without the thought, nothing has ever happened. And if it does happen, it happens right now. Okay, we're going to page over the... Let's see if it gets any better.Yeah.

And see if they can hear. Okay, so that's a little break in the silent transmission and see if you guys can hear it now. Yes. They can hear it, okay. Yeah, sorry for that. No one is the doer. Life is unfolding as it should and if it causes any irritation or inflammation or any resistance in the body, well that's a wonderful invitation to look. To watch what's the problem, who is there, who has a problem. Because the way life is unfolding, the way the life is living, it has to include the whole duality. There has to be winter for the summer to even exist. They have to be there for the night to exist.

They have to be drama, sadness, pain, anger, for their opposite to be fully appreciated. So if there is anything that is being taken for granted, the things should be easy, people should respect me, my mother should love me, I should have more money, I should be enlightened. Those are ideas that...They beg for questioning. Because they couldn't have, again, they couldn't have appeared if not for the presence that is already shining bright effortlessly. None of those dramas, none of those concepts. And especially this big ego inflaming concepts. I'm better than you because I don't destroy environment. I don't eat meat. I don't believe in that. All the comparisons, all the competitions.

Or I believe in the truth, the conspiracy, I'm awakened to it and you are not. Finding the differences, the big game in which I get it and you don't. See how, what a beautiful, luring illusion of separation. Nobody gets it, only I get it. Well, hello, who is that I? Who is that I with the sense of inferiority, I will never get it? Or the I with the sense of superiority, or no one else gets it? There's no one there. So to see that in that space like awareness, the luring, attractive ideas, conspiracies, notions arise, almost as if they were creatures of them.themselves that also love to be.

We had a good laughter with Dean yesterday about people who are transmitting their conspiracy theories and they really get like us if the virus infected that body and it just wants to proliferate, you know, and just find more believers, assert itself, share itself, love itself, just shine. So all those ideas somehow, you know, they possess the body. And the best one is the idea of separate self, the I, like a virus of the mind. There's someone there that someone can control the thinking or the feeling, that someone can stop being so negative and start being positive. That someone can choose or manifest or fall in love or choose that or resist something or the other.

That someone there is real. So this is the source of the psychological suffering. As Bob says, you know, 90, now he's quoting actually, he's quoting, who was it, Wei Wei, 99% of everything I want and everything I do and everything I think and everything I feel is for myself and there isn't one. The self is the source. He says, you know, karma is a ridiculous concept because there's only one. So there's no cause.an effect in the oneness is just a dance of multiple elements, multitude of factors constantly updating and affecting each other, those factors of oneness. But in one exception he had a really, really good spin on the idea of karma, because there is a singular cause for all psychological suffering, and that is a belief in separate self.

That very belief, when the belief is present, the suffering is present. When the belief is absent, the suffering is absent, psychological suffering. Because of course the physical pain is inevitable. If not for physical pain, there is no pleasure. So you've got to endure some pain to experience some of the fun of life. But psychological suffering, if there is a me that is angry, if there is a me that is depressed, if there is a me experiencing self-pity, or is inferior, or is superior, has healthy self-confidence, well, that's going to change too. Even if I have, I love myself. Who loves who? But I do appreciate my personality.

Whose personality? So if there is any sense of self, even if that sense of self is fairly healthy, well, that's going to change. Everything fluctuates. The weather is constantly changing.changing, the inner weather is constantly changing, the outer weather is changing. And again, as Bob often says, you know, I, the I, the personality, I like it. So that seems like that's not really a source of suffering. I like it, I enjoy it, I love it. But guess what? This is going to go. This is going to change. Whoever you like will betray you or will die. Whoever or whatever you like, your taste is going to change.

You will make yourself sick of eating that chocolate cake. Everything is going to change. Or I don't like it, I have to push it away. I don't like being unenlightened. He's risen. There is him. Christ consciousness is risen. What a beautiful idea. The Christ consciousness. Where is it not? When has it ever been buried or crucified? It cannot be annihilated. What is called the life essence or intelligence or the awareness or Christ consciousness can never be annihilated. This is the energy. Energy does not get destroyed. It can be channeled into a nuclear bomb. Or into the idea of poor miserable little me. Well, it can't be destroyed.

It is always here.calling back for that recognition, that life essence, that energy, that Christ consciousness on the Easter. It's all there is. There is nothing else to be had. All that is ever to be found is already here present for recognition. And that recognition is very, very simple. It can't really be overlooked when pointed. Nobody can deny it when pointed.So just coming back to that recognition, to that undeniable fact, and seeing how everything else is just an obstruction, is just a fluff, is just the content of the movie, which doesn't really ever hide the dream, the screen. And the dream, the dreaming is already this.

Without the dream, without the colorful drama, again, if there was nothing, that nothing, there is no possibility for self-awareness, appreciation, love. There is no possibility in the nothingness for... All the love, all the joy and all the beauty, and all the madness, and all the crazy, and all the pain, without which the opposite is impossible again. So the joy of existence, the love of being, the roller coaster, the ride, is there to be appreciated. It's like a vacation from the eternity of nothingness, which is also just a concept.Because all you ever experience is the moment now. If there is experiencing going on in this moment now, that's the forever, that's the eternity.

But the beauty of that eternity of experiencing is that it doesn't have to hurt. It doesn't have to be a miserable, suffering, painful, longing for death. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. And when even that, that invitation for the fantasy of non-existence comes up, that can be appreciated too. Every fantasy, every dream, every daydream, every concept, every story, every conspiracy, when it has its right place, when it is just an object on the screen of awareness, can be totally loved and appreciated. If there is no slavery to it, if there is no belief that, oh, this is me, I know the truth and you don't.

This is I, I am trapped in that and I will never get out. Why is that I still here? I just got the message from a friend, I'm having individual meetings.I still feels as if it is here. So what? Who knows about that? Who is witnessing that I? And how does it feel like? Is it hot? Is it cold? Is it small? Is it big? How does it feel like that I is still here? Bob has this beautiful metaphor about the blueness. Eye is blue. You know, eye is always, ah, blue, that's wrong, that's not enough. The blue like the sky. We know that sky isn't blue.

Sky is translucent. There's no blueness when you go up in the airplane. You go 10,000 kilometers or whatever. There's no blueness coming through the windows. Or the ocean, the sea. The water is clear too, translucent. And so is the eye. Eye isn't blue, it only appears blue. Only appears like this is the entity which is always blue, always complaining. This is wrong, that is wrong.appearance of the eye, which is known in the translucent transparency of the space. Space of water or sky is the space in which that eye, even if it still appears to be, well, isn't it wonderful? Just have a good laugh. Wow, well done.

What a brilliant illusion it still appears to be. But you know the truth. You are the presence in which it appears to be. And as the presence, aware of the appearance, what does it matter what appears?To who does it matter what appears? Who is actually so attached to pleasure and so afraid of pain? Who is there that wants to survive, that wants to live? You will see that everything that the body-mind, the vehicle for the experiencing and expression represents, is really that pattern, that binary pattern of always chasing pleasure and always avoiding pain, which is the extension of basic survival mechanism, which every body, animal body, plant body, the insect body, the cellular body, the microbes in everywhere are equipped in self-preservation.

Because if the body is not preserved, the experiencing and expression is not there, the corpse doesn't experience, corpse doesn't express. In the same way that aliveness flows through and uses, utilizes all the beautiful capacity for seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling.So appreciation of those capacities running right now and yet still understanding that those capacities are just part of the dream, they belong to the dream. And dreaming, having that dreaming floating through the sky like awareness, not blue. Even if it appears blue, even if it appears as this is me, I, I prefer chocolate cake or I prefer to not be bullied. Of course, how wonderful.

Yes, but I don't want to feel angry. Why not? What's wrong with a little bit of volcano erupting? What's wrong with a little bit of irritability or headache? What's wrong with anything unless you think about it? If not for the pain, you wouldn't know pleasure. And everything changes, it's temporary. So if the pain shows up, it is an invitation to give it a space, to let it be experienced. And very often it comes with the survival mechanism answering to pain in one way or another. Looking for painkillers or checking the mechanics. What does mechanic or GP, doctor has to say? What's wrong with the organ or skin or something of the other?And if it doesn't, well again, from life's perspective, even if the body is on its deathbed, what's wrong with that?

Unless you think about it. There is a beautiful dignity in which the nature endures physical challenges. The cold, the winter, the pain. And there is no reason why human pattern, which is also nature, wouldn't endure it in the same way. Having the presence of that witnessing consciousness in the center, in the heart, rather than translating and interpreting everything through that complaining blueness. It shouldn't be like this. I want it to last. I don't want it to end. Or I want more of that. That's just blah blah. And that blah blah is cute and sweet. What else is it but love? I want more pleasure. Well, of course.

Who doesn't? Come on. How sweet. I don't want to pain. Of course. How healthy. How normal. But that's not the ultimate truth. That's just a commentary. That's not who you are. That's not you speaking it. That's just a natural instinctual response to the environment.The body that belongs to environment, that is one with the environment, that cannot at any point be separated from it, cannot stop, breathe, exchange the air, exchange the matter, exchange the water, exchange the thinking. All the thinking, feeling is always induced somehow, either by the environment within or the environment outside. There is absolutely no separation. And that's the message. Oh, okay. Would you like to add something, Daniel?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah. Blah, blah. Can I add something? Please. We'll have to maybe speak up. Sure. Okay. All right. Space is the absence of mental construction, while awareness is the knowing of this absence of construction. Realize the indivisibility of space and awareness.Page 40. When the past has gone, the future hasn't arrived. Present awareness is right here. It is unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected. Present awareness, just as it is. It is the natural state, empty and Cognizant. Cognizant, knowing. Knowing, now in. Seeing, there is no thing to see, or no thing that can see means that emptiness is seeing. Hence, cognizing emptiness.

Emptiness, cognizing. No thing seen.Page 43. Seeing no thing. At the moment of seeing that there is no thing that sees the seeing is free of thought. Just natural awareness or knowing. Non-dual or without a second. Presence awareness. Primordial purity. Intelligence energy. All these labels are pointers to non-duality, which means exactly that, non-duality, nothing other, nothing other, my apology.Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. And that was the reading from Bob's book, Beyond Mind, Beyond Words, which is available on our website. Oh, by the way, actually it reminded me, not only Beyond Mind, Beyond Words, you will have the link to eBay where you can buy the book.

This is a distillation of Bob's teachings that he scribed down, written down by himself. It's not a transcript of his talks. It's a really, really small book that I sell for one third of the price that I paid for it. But we also have... The Audible actually opened up the possibility for putting up Bob's books in AI generated voice. So they're all available again on our website, salorbobadenson.com. Slash books. You'll have links to the books and you will have Kindle version, paperback version and audio version now. It's not Bob's voice. I did have a big project on one of the books. I even had the translation and then someone stole the copyright and published it in really bad, bad voice on YouTube.

So this one is a little bit more modern. Audible have high standards. It sounds all right. Yeah, if anyone wants to listen instead of read, because theThe attention spam is going down and down with the modern world. The possibility is there. And again, as usually, I put the price as low as I could possibly do it. So it's not, you know, like $40 audiobooks what you normally pay. It's more like $10 or $12 or something. So that's the Easter gift. I couldn't make it available for free, that's not on the menu. Plus, yes, we don't get any donations anymore, so I have about $1,000 a year of the cost of the internet and another $1,000 for the websites and everything.

So if you buy a few of those books, that will help pay the costs. Apart from that, now we are inviting the contributions because everyone knows that they are, everyone has their pointers that speak to you, that serve as a reminder when you ever get lost and you feel that, oh my gosh, I knew it, I had it, now I lost it, now I don't know anymore, I don't remember anymore. What takes you out of that ridiculous idea that there is an I that needs to remember something? Or there is I that has forgotten something? Because that I which remembers and which forgets is not your essential self.

That I which remembers and forgets is the narrative self, is the illusory self, is the hallucinated by the neural network.in the brain, interface that helps communicating and navigating the world. It doesn't have any existence. It is known in that witnessing presence, in that field of energy that we may call awareness or just beingness. It arises and it disappears. It isn't there at night. It isn't there when you're indulging in something or the other. So that I which remembers, that I which is lost, that I which is disappointed, that I which is complaining all the time, that blue, that sad, miserable, blue appearance of the complaining mind is not your essential self.

It is the interface.which is wonderful when you see it for what it is. What a source of laughter. Any complaint, every complaint, look around and you can come up with so many complaints. We were walking with Dina yesterday and I said, okay, so let's bring up some complaints just for the laughter. Anything that shows up, a little pointer, not a pointer, what is it, the road mark, with the ugly, shitty sort of color yellow on it, like a warning sign. Oh, what a beast to complain about anything and everything. If you know it's just a joke, complaining is a joke. Life is as it is.

unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected. Complaining doesn't change anything. It's just a narration of some sense of dissatisfaction which arises out of those installed ideas of perfection that are culturally induced and imitated by parents who are also dissatisfied and always looking for improvements. It is a habit pattern. It isn't necessary, but it can cause extreme suffering when it is believed. Let's say, oh, I don't like my smile, oh, I'm too thin, or I'm too fat, or my husband doesn't love me. And believed in, that's...sort of a complaint can become suicidal. Or I don't have enough money, or I'm not healthy enough, or they are better, or they don't like me.

Goodness! But when you see it for what it is, what a ride! Isn't it laughable? It couldn't be any different. It is as it is. Why even, just why, of course it's impossible, this is an automatic function. The complaining mind automatically kicks in and looks for the fixes because that's a job, it is a tool that is supposed to preserve the whole mechanism, so it is supposed to look for dangers. Evaluate whatever could be improved and generate more pleasure. So wonderful, you look at it and you hear those complaints and you blow them with a kiss. Oh thank you, yes the yellow could be better, it could be brighter, it could look better.

Yes those people could dress better, could they love me more. Ha, what an idea! And in this way, we don't necessarily overlook what is, because those ideas of things that could be or should be or would be different are just a part of the landscape. They're sweet little laughable ways in which love expresses. But they're not clouding or allovershading the fact that those are just ideas. Perfectionism, just ideas, ideals to strive for, just thoughts, just mental images. And life is shining forth in its full glory. And that piece of a landscape of a complaint is nothing, means nothing. If anything, it invites the laughter because you don't believe it.

Why would you? Life is as it is, evidently. Look around, that's what it is. Yes, the carpet could look different. Yes, people could have or would have. Yes, sure. But as it is, what's wrong with that? As it is, it's pretty incredible. And it will never be the same again. This moment will never ever reoccur. It is alive. It can be recalled as a memory, but it will lack that essential aliveness in it.You do hear from time to time. And it can be surprising, you know, the voice box that it comes out of. That, oh, I thought I lost it. Yeah. I'm scared I'm going to lose it.

I had it. I understood it. And then I lost it. If you believe that. What a hell. Yeah. And you're still barking up the wrong tree. Because you can't get away from it. It's... Lost in space. Yeah. You cannot. It's not... You know? It's like books. It's going to not be. How can you lose it? You are that. It can't be lost. It can't be trained, can't be taught, can't be manipulated, can't be willed into a certain way of being. Because who is there to do all those things? Who is there to have a will to enforce? To make things happen. God bless itself. Can I just continue a few more pages?

Just before I continue. Yes. I thought it was very interesting to hearThough Bob's words spoken with Hayman's strong, clear voice, the cognizing emptiness meant something else. It meant not just a sort of fuzzy cognizing concept. It meant... Seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling. Yeah. Thinking. Yes. Yeah. And just hearing it through a different voice, it sort of jumped out.Page 15. Thank you, Ross. By the way, I think that I said that my apology was that my own word and not Brooke's word, and feel free to tell me thanks for secondhand information. ...Happening and the natural unchanging mind essence is missed or overlooked. Page 17. In healing, my apology.

In hearing or reading this, the thought may arise, thought the resonance or recognition. Hey, wait a moment. I see that the answer is not the conceptual thinking, not in the subject object. In front is, by the way. The pointing out is always about non-duality, pure subjectivity, or self-knowing awareness. In that moment, there is an empty awareness, the essence, that registers or cognizes everything just as it is. In front is non-conceptual. Including the concepts, thoughts or activities in front of us, everything. Look now, or as the ancient scriptures say, come face to face with your basic essence, bare livingness or awareness, or nothingness, emptiness, your original face, space-like awareness, clear andIn front of us, nowhere to go, nothing to get.

Thank you. Thank you. Anyone would like to contribute something, comment, add, tell us your favorite pointer. Then I will continue two more pages. Page 23. The thought I see this or that, or I think this or that, etc., appears and with that the unquestioned subject-object duality, in front of subject I see object that, which is the cause of all our problems, seeing has seemingly been divided into seer or seen, thinker or thought, etc. Page 24.on being pointed out that there is really no division, that the seeing thinking is all there is in which the thought I see appears. The seeing subject and the thought I see the chair, table, or whatever is being objectified by thought, both seer and the seen appear in the seeing.

My analysis that implies non-reality. Filling the gap between lover and beloved, which is unexplainable. Yet I explain. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Anyone? You both. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh. You're taking people all over. So it's not good. My God, it's daunting having a camera right in your face. Pretend it's not here. Pretend it's not there.It's just that it's... I'm reflecting on my Christian upbringing here. I'm thinking how relevant that can be. It's like everything can take you home if you want to. That's the essence of this teaching, isn't it? You are already home, I just recognized.

I was running words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to tie in anything. Nothing's contained in this. There's no reference point of any substance, isn't there? This thing in that book, no reference. Can I have a look?I'm going to pick one and read it later. Just pick one. No reference point or self-centered with any substance. Or independent. Or independent. No check, can't be seen. There you go. I think the real thing there is to reflect on the fact that there isn't a reference point. So whenever we get into this sort of... Obstinates or anger, anything like this, which is perfectly okay. It's an expression of life.

But then we're struggling to find a reference point, aren't we? Struggling to make something real, and you cannot do that. When you really look at it, one sees the emptiness, the fallacy of the struggle to be somewhere, something, somehow.You want to pick one and read? Resonance There's one essence, shaping, forming, patterning, experiencing, expressing everything. That's amazing. Cool. Yeah. That's all it is. All this has no meaning in isolation. It's all just one thing. That's why it's laughable, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Let's complain a bit. Yeah. Well, could we all agree to stop apologising? The story has so much to answer for. You're conditioned as a child.

Say sorry, you naughty kiddo. You did this. You did that. And we go through apologising all the time. Taking credit. Taking credit. Stop it. Stop it. shaping, forming, patterning, experience and expression is everything. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's included all our hidden private definitions itself. And all the fears that come with that. Everything's included. That's just part of the... Obviously, when I have a look at it...It's only just part of the conditioning, shaping. Yes. Yes. Expressing as everything. One can observe, one can experience, one can see. You can't even separate yourself from that. You can't, you can't ever separate yourself from that. No matter what. You consider yourself to be a mind, a body, or a woman.That's beautiful.

Can you put it up? I'll show it to the camera if I can. Oh, this is a beautiful sunset. Resonate with that. And this is the pointer. They are beautiful. Yeah. Thank you, God. 35 pounds. This is a... It probably cost more than that to make. Yeah, I don't make money on that either. Ross, would you like to read what you got? You picked the card too? I'll give you a tip. She said, once we had something that was precious and beautiful, what happened to it? She said, you spent it all. Rough. That intelligence functioning now is the razor's edge. Yes!Presense means prior to senses.

It is ever fresh justice. There is nothing else. Mmm. Nothing else. The razor's edge, that's an amazing term, isn't it? Mmm. So that is that the edge between reality and not. Yeah. So that's the difference between sat and asat.and are with you. Yes. Reality or non-reality. What do I just said? Beautiful. And show us this one. And this one invites to relaxing into it. And it's a beautiful calm beach. A little bit of a sky. And those are all Bob's pointers. Pearls of Bob's pointing. Bren, would you like to read yours? How much information can you get out of the computer if the power is not on?

What must you be? The body or the power that animates it? Good question, huh? Very, very easy to answer. And the beautiful full moon. And this is to reflect on. So that card is calling for the reflection. Which must you be? Obviously. But prove it to yourself. You can actually really, yeah, I'll get it. Tasha, would you read yours? Oh, sorry. Sorry, Ross. Just like the eye, as in E-Y-E, just like the eye can never see itself, you can never grasp it or understand it with the mind. Trying is futile. Hmm, yeah, and this is to rest.Yeah, easy to resonate. Yeah, I can't see it.

The fire can burn it. The water can't drown it. And Toni's in a deep state. She's not playing. It's not playing in life as easy just to write the experience. Yeah, beautiful. Did you get one, Jordan? Oh, yeah, I got one. They're really nice cards. They are nice, yes. Resonate with that. It is like a wind, not only by its expression, the movement. The livingness that you are cannot be grasped or separated from what appears on it, from its expression. Yeah, that's beautiful. And this one is also for resonating. And it's another full moon. We had full moon a couple of days ago. It came up here.

And this is to resonate. Yes, wind only known by expression. Dean doesn't want to play. Tanya, will you play some cards? You are beyond the mind. Presence awareness is prior to thought. Before anything is, I am.I am that I am. And, you know, The Racer's Edge. I think it's the name of one of Bob's favourite movies. It is. An old black and white, worth watching in the Easter weekend. It's gorgeous. It's a goodie. Mmm. It's so sweet. Alfred Hitchcock? No, no. Somersault. Somersault. No. Somersault. Yes. Yes, from 40s I think, and I have play cards too, so I've got a card relaxing into it. It's a beautiful picture of the sea and the sky from the airplane, just before my Scuba diving trip on the Red Sea, so it's in Egypt.

And it says, there never was a doer, thinker, or me. So it couldn't have returned. Yeah. I lost it. Yeah, yeah. I had it and I lost it. Oh, I has returned. the space and now the eye has returned and taken over. There never was an eye, so it couldn't have returned. Belief got caught up in the appearance. Belief is not the actual. It's just a thought. Without the word, without the thoughts, there's no belief, there's nothing. And that was also relaxing. Relaxing. Relaxing. Yeah, they're pretty nice and clear from the...I'll just give it a little spin on here. Bob loved that we made a wallpaper of those.

I would just have a walk with you guys. Yeah, they're joy, they're real pearls. So now, anyone? Yeah, I was... Oh, please. Something just came up, so I might... I don't know if it's a question, but... If you want me to identify the forts, I think a good inquiry would be like, where's the fort? Occurring or is there any location? Brilliant. Is the fort even real? Yes. Because we have like an idea that the fort is occurring in the headspace. So yeah, I just want to say that. Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, that is a great line of inquiry. One way Bob would say, who is it happening to?

But there is a presumption that there is someone there that is happening to. When you really look for location, I don't know if I can. I've got one idea on that. Yeah. Have you ever had like a super creative thought just popped up out of nowhere and you go, oh my God, that was so cool. Where did that come from?Yeah. And artists talk about this all the time, like it's just coming to them, not to think it's theirs. It's just, oh my God, that was awesome. That came out of nowhere. And, you know, so it wouldn't, on reflection, you'll notice that also there was no location added into that thought.

So there's just no, you just have to start down assumption, in assumption territory, to say anything about, the thought, you've got the concept, in fact I even noticed the concept pops up before the words come, so you know what it's about, and then I do tend to like see some locations in space, but they're just in space, they're not like anywhere in a head. There's no imagery of a head there. So it's just basically the notion and then, oh, wouldn't it be cool if that, and then, oh, God, that's boring. What a repetition of what just happened. And then it just cuts off. But this will say it's cutting off.

There's no other information there that an eye is doing any of it. There's no other information about where it's coming from, exactly where it's popping up with coordinates. It's just, yeah. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, like you said, we don't have any reference, but we must be editing. All reference points at once. It's a cool thing to write, right?We can't even see reality as it is from a scientific perspective. That's interesting, isn't it? Yes. You know, where what we're looking at is in fact our biological fitness rather than a representation of the actual truth. It is, we don't see the truth as it is. We're only seeing, in other words, evolution has pressured every organism, us particularly, if you like, as human beings, and we're sapient, to not see reality as it is, but to see something.

You see an image that you've made in your mind. Clearly everything is always, you only ever see the past anyway because there's a micro, at least a micro second between the way in which you formulate the information from the input of, from the moment of input of the light energy anyway. So they're nervous. They're only looking at the past. Yeah. Okay. But beyond that, you know, you never see things as they are because otherwise you'll be looking at pixels and yeses and nos and, you know, ones and zeros. It would be impossible to...Respectfully, I would like to be a little bit disagree with what Peter said about we are not capable to see everything as it is.

I would say if we wash our system from the conceptualization of what is, I would say we are capable to see everything as it is in comparison to every other creature on this planet, an insect or a rabbit or all kinds of creatures, fish inside the ocean also cannot see or can see everything as it is. I'm implying things as they are, our perception of the perceiver and that's it.Thank you. You're only the one who's only the... Seeing a non-duality, this is the point of that discussion, is that we don't see anything that's real here, no object has any real reality other than that which is made up in the mind.

Kind of formulation. It's all based on past associations anyway. I have a couple of comments here from our online community. Well, just let me finish that. Yeah, I don't want to go too much conceptualization, agreeing and disagreeing. Hey, man, disagree with you, you disagree with me. This is all head stuff. The one that agrees. The stop bottom. The stop bottom. It is that difference. That's your belief. That picture never changes. Okay, so let's not go to the beliefs. We're talking really about the direct experience. So direct experience is... That's where it's all headed. Exactly. So you want to go to that place? Yeah. Please. That's the only place you can come to.

Yes. Everything is. One energy expression. Yeah. There's no difference. Yeah. That's all. Wonderful. If everything is vibrating, it is like that in essence.Every element of Dean kneeling here is vibrating. And that's it basically. Basically it's just vibrating energy. So if we come to that recognition, you see that everything has to be one. It can't be the objects we see. You see energy and energy is only pure energy. You take the form of energy, like, and it has potential. Potential energy there. Then you have the local bubble energy occurring. Chocolate energy. We've been in it for a while. Yes. And this little bunny here appears colourful and glistening and vibrant and green.

I just ate one before and it was hollow. Hollow? What a metaphor. Hollow back. Hollow inside. Empty space. Oh, sorry. No, no, go ahead. From what you were saying, like, in the course for miracles, you know how they say, like, we give everything meaning? Yes. And, like, each different...person has different meaning for the one thing. Yeah, because of our overlays and experiences and projections and... Yeah, that's it. Some say one, some will say division with the police coming, some will say something else. It's just different. Yeah. And our overlays, we all have that at all in each of the... Packages sitting around the room. Yeah.

And that meaning, the pointer is great, we give all the meaning that whatever it has, but the meaning also comes automatically from the machine, the way it has been conditioned. The meaning is also somehow automatic function, so we don't even give it, it arises. The situation arises, the response to the situation arises, all arises in consciousness, the meaning arises in consciousness. And it could be as fascinating as anything. Oh, wow, this body, not only it reacts with like an erupting volcano of anger or disappointment, but it also reacts with this backstory, oh, this happened to me, it shouldn't have happened. Wow, how juicy, what an amazing dream.

The reaction is arisen and the meaning has followed up and it all happens on autopilot, completely unconsciously. The only conscious element of the whole show is the witnessing presence, is the pure consciousness in which it arises. And I have a couple of comments that I wanted to...One, Del says, yes, there is no doer. And Tracy says, presence, pre-senses. What a wonderful pointer. That blew me away. And that's really it. The rest of the comments are about our sound issues. And again, sorry for that, we really, it's become unmanageable. Sometimes it has life of its own. It sometimes works properly, sometimes it doesn't. Well, I have another avenue of investigation, like using just the phone and amplifying the voices by giving a mic that really brings the noise to the room.

But it might get worse. We'll see. We'll see.Is this what it is? Yeah. That's so true, isn't it? Like, we give everything meaning. That's implying that we're the door. That's right. Yeah. I've got a question. I'm trying to answer it in my own head. So on this path you become aware at some point that everything I think or everything I believe is conditioning. But I was just sitting here thinking, well then why do I feel like me? Like I feel different to what I imagine Dean would feel like. Yes. And so it's like, well, what is that? And so I don't know if this is correct or not, but what came to me is just like habit is conditioning and just like conditioning forms habit and unconscious behaviors, so too does the feeling time.

So the me self who feels like Tasha is actually a learnt feeling time. And when that drops, I assume the feeling of me isolated as a feeling drops. But it's kind of like a question maybe, more than a statement. Yeah, that is... Yeah, Tony? I think it goes in and out all the time. So there's a space where there's no thought and that feeling, particularly feeling, is not there for that moment. And then other times, like, yeah, there's, you know, and I think it can go...around saying, I know for sure that didn't come from some other life, or I know for sure that's not from childhood, or I know for sure, we don't know anything.

But there's a package of interactions and nervous system behaviours going on in each location, and they come and go, come in and out. I'm pretty sure there's probably no one who's just been at risk the whole time and isn't being impacted underneath with certain things. And there's some, how that particular package has been completely clear of everything. And I wonder if there ever has been such a package that has, you know, everything cleared all the time. I doubt it. Not from anywhere I've met or seen. I've seen them with no thought for periods of time and then I've seen them snap in. I've seen them dig around for behaviours and can't find them and still feel blissful but react normally to a trigger.Yeah, and I guess I don't really have a sense of me in there, but I'm still reacting in that package way.

I just never have the concept. That it's not just an unruly universe, you know what I mean? So that was an easy one here. But I will still feel different from Dean if certain environmental issues are being triggered in different ways. I guess it's more like that. Or have that feeling, I think you're talking about that sort of package. If there's only one, then why does Tasha feel like Tasha and Tasha doesn't feel like Tasha? I can use you as an example. Why does Tasha feel like Tasha? But Tasha does not feel like Dean. If we're one, then there's a me and a him. It's a one and a him.

How do you know? A mountain and a valley. That's what I was kind of asking. How do you know? Because they're feeling time. Can you find Tasha?Somewhere behind this point. How do you know it's there? I know to say it's conditioning, but I don't really know. Really look, really look, really, really look. So why do I feel different, sorry, why do I feel different as if I'm a me? Not just the thinking and the understanding, not just the conceptual me, but the feeling me. It's like a mountain range and the different bumps. So in one aspect, yeah, the feeling's different, but it's still dirt. For myself, for myself.

Different bumps of dirt. The body. What you're saying is that... So when you say I am or I exist, the mind is involved. The minute it's articulated, worded, said, labelled, whatever. But before that, prior to that, prior to the words or any attempt at conceptualising who you are, you are. You exist. There is an ordinary knowing awareness before the mind gets involved. The particulars of the feeling, you know, when you say there is something specific that feels like me, Tarsha. Can you see how that feeling comes, you know?I just quoted whatever someone says, pre-sense is prior to senses. And now the sensory component of that feeling, the specifics, some sort of an intimate, maybe a little insecure, maybe a little tender, something that is specific, that feels like me, and you assume that it doesn't feel anywhere else.

You don't know that. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But it feels there is something specific that feels like Tarsha and not Dean or someone else. Does it feel like this all the time? Or is it fluctuating? Sometimes it's stronger, sometimes it's weaker. Sometimes it's not there. When you sleep, it's not there. That feeling, just as you answered your own question, that feeling, that habituated sense that there is a me, that is very intimately unique, that sense of personal. Is fluctuating and you, the presence, is knowing of that fluctuating sense of self. So this is not who you are. You are the knowing of it.

So it's a learned feeling that has been identified with and as. It's the interpretation. It is the computing, the sense of presence. And Bach has a beautiful metaphor that he quotes again from ancient texts. It's like the metal rod that is put in the fire. So the metal rod is dead and insentient, just like the dead body.When it is put in the fire, when it is put into that source of consciousness or life essence, it takes the qualities of the fire. It becomes hot like a fire, red like a fire. It can burn like a fire. And if it could speak, it would say, I'm the fire.

I'm the doer. I can do all those things. So that sense of me-ness which arises in the dead body when it is immersed in the source of life, the fire, immersed, the body becomes red and hot and it can speak and it can see, hear, taste, touch, smell and it feels like this is something in between, between the dead body and the source of life. Something, the third person comes, like in between the yellow glass and the blue glass, you put them together and the green appears, the middle ground. Sense of self, the illusion of self. That's the interface. That's the avatar. That's your city in the computer.

Or in the telephone, some narrative self, some seeming object that you call Tasha, this is me, this is my identity, this is a costume, this is not the dead body and it is not the pure life that is never changing. That is prior to senses, doesn't feel hot, intimate, cold, small, big, nothing. In between that dead element and the life element, that personal self,appears but you can see that it is always changing your image of yourself when you were a real child was different than the image of yourself that it is now but the presence the existence never changes whether you are you've gained 10 kilos or you lose 10 kilos or 20 years ago 20 years from now that intimate awareness that certainty of existence is always there.

The fear that I'm not good enough, that changes. The fear of rejection or the longing for truth or pleasure or something, that fluctuates. But that presence, that consciousness, that is the same all the way through. That one stays. And that one is the same in the tree, in the stone, in the in everyone. Because it's prior to senses. It doesn't have qualities. It's not hot, it's not cold, it's not feeling rejection, it's not vulnerable, it's not invulnerable, it just is. And you can't even say it is. It doesn't come and go. Yeah. It's always there, it's always the same, it's stable, unchanging. It's the only thing that you can say with absolute certainty.If you, when you realize that every other quality that you believe you possess or that defines the Tasha somehow comes and goes from moment to moment.

As a beginning and an end. I don't think that happened in the same time. I think the sense of self and sense of the eye, sense of Peter, comes in exactly the same time as the appreciation of something outside of oneself as being separate. There's no time involved in it, it's an eternal event. It happens only in eternity. But, you know, if you think about it, that must be true.If I can only see myself now, what am I using to see myself? Sense of being, the end comes in through a comparison that I've instantaneously made. There's already a separation of me as other. Yeah. When Tasha mentioned this feeling time,Just before that, according to the explanation of dependent origination, it's a Buddhist Theravada analysis, there's contact.

It's of the senses, so there's contact, there's a feeling, that Tarsha mentions, a feeling time, where according to the dependent origination, that feeling is either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. And if it's unpleasant, we try and get away from that. Or it might be, I'm no good. There's a whole range of things. We call conditioning sansara or sanskala, there that tell us we're no good. Or it could be pleasurable and I want this. So desire arises.But if there's a memory of the true essence, It's the feeling is neutral and then it doesn't have to go through a whole series of things. To do with separation and it's back to acknowledgement of the essence.

Something like that, but if we forget that... Oh, you don't, eh? Like you've been found. If we forget that, we're off the razor's edge and we're into the duality. You know, watch the mind. See how it operates, Bob would often say. But know that you will never, ever find the answer in the mind. Beautiful concepts, pointers, as helpful as they might be, golden, beautiful gems. You need to drop it all.being stoned into my trying to figure this out and put this in its box and this over here. This is folly. It came down to a question just before, and it's like, I didn't realise I'd been working, so-called working, on the conceptual need and having a better understanding of that.

And it just hit me when I first walked in today, oh, but there's also a mean me, like a feeling tone in Tasha. And then as everyone's talking, it's like, well, if I'm not little misconception me, and now I'm allegedly not little misfeeling time me, then who am I? Yay! What am I? Mm-hmm. If I'm not those things. Yes. Just like this. Intelligence, energy. There's so many different ways. Ordinary awareness. Whatever label you want to put on it, you never find the perfect one. They're all words. They're all limited. Trying to describe the limitless. It's so intelligent. It's like so intelligent and so wordy. It's like, it just doesn't hit in because it's just another thing to try and work through.

Yeah. You try and conquer. And watch the trying. Because ultimately Bob has this really, maybe I'll just sit here. Bob has this really good, beautiful little twist on the idea of who am I? Oh, who is I? He would say he was asking the question. Who wants to know? Who gives a shit? Who wants to figure it out? Is there anybody there who is preoccupied with wanting to find out who am I? Who is, what is I? See who is so curious about it. So if I am not an I, and I want to find out who I am, to find out that I'm not an I, doesn't that mean I'm killing myself?

Who wants to find out? Who wants to find out? There's nothing to die. Yeah. Yeah.Yeah, yeah. The idea that, you know, like, and they are those pointers that, you know, I die daily or die to that sense of self and all that crazy stuff about dying. Dying is the most delightful thing. You go every night to sleep and you die to that sense of self. Every night when you close your eyes and the idea of Tasha drops away and dissolves into the nothingness and we say we had a blissful sleep. And it's nothing wrong. The dream shows up and the response to the dream shows up.

And the dream character is just responding, responding, responding without dragging the past behind. And then we wake up in the morning and the past is being dragged into it. And this is me, this is my identity. This is who I am. But is it really? And see, you know, the way little babies or animals live without having self-concept, without having an idea of who I am. I don't know who I am, I don't care. There's no question. There is just this moment now, there's seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling. There's a response. Oh, there's a cake. Oh, we'll see if that eats the cake or it doesn't eat the cake.

Oh, there is another thing, the plan, the idea comes. The response happens. Dragging that past me, that conceptual image, that this is, I am doing this, I am doing the seeing, I am doing the thinking, I am, you know, thatThat heavy backpack of that confinement, dragging it into it, is just not necessary. You can just be the life. Be the life. Let the life look. Now there is life looking, life hearing, life seeing. If the question arising, who am I? This is life asking that question. But life doesn't need anything to do with it. Life doesn't need to find the answer. If there's an urge to find the answer to that question, okay, again, there is just life creating the urge.

There is no answer to the question, who am I? It is unknowable. Because the one who would find out who am I wouldn't be the object that is being found. That would be something else. If there is no me and there is no I, what is it that I think I'm doing and looking? And what is it I think I'm going to find? God. Who is the thinking? Who is thinking what I'm going to find? The experience here is that, it's like the third thing that Ross said, was the experience here is that when it's not constant, like, oh, this is so heavy, it's so frustrating, I want to get home without falling asleep.

You know, then, like the third thing that Ross mentioned, essence is noticed, is immediately, oh, that pattern, that was...It's still there, it's still doing all those reactions, oh that's a bit of a pain. But it's not a belief that it was me or any kind of such thing as free will or any of that. But there is most of the time is spent in the, oh God, how am I going to manage this day? But then essence shows and it's, oh, that pattern's still going on. It would be interesting to see which bit starts to unravel next, which process takes place that dissipates some of that and then what kind of life might change.

Yeah, it's just going in and out of those two things. I don't get that middle ground, just never really, never ever seen free what's a thing and once I got to know duality and I said, look in the heads, there were Tony there and a few times during one week there was no Tony and I was like, so lucky I don't get that from MI or shit. If I go to disintegrate, if there's no eye, yeah, none of it's coming. So it's a false journey then? So if you're in search, it's a false journey. Correct. It's a dream. It's a dream. The idea that there is something to be found, the idea that there is something that has been lost, and the idea that there is someone here, well, it may play out, but if you understand that it's a dream, you're not really preoccupied with it.

Like you say, oh, there's still appearing. If there is a subtle disappointment arising, and that disappointment is being owned to, well then obviously you need some more questioning. But if there is an idea, oh there is still...a self arising and there's a disappointment. Oh, there's still disappointment in the self arising. Wow, that's pretty incredible, huh? Wow. And there's complete neutrality about what is arising. I'm not even getting that story. I'm just getting like, you know, constant reactions are always happening. We used to be in essence, you know, we used to just in essence noticing that Ross mentioned all the time, you know. I don't have to crave for it, but it's just like, wow, so much triggering.

Amazing, happening all the bloody time. Why not? Tasha, by definition, the dream of becoming denies that you are that right now. It just seems futile now. Correct. It is. It's one of the most distracting things of all, is the concept of being a seeker, a searcher. Something that you already are. Longing, looking, desiring, striving, believing that you are doing. Who's doing? I think one big belief in what I experienced was the belief that I needed fixing. Like a constant striving to go to therapy, to fix something or to have an end goal.get somewhere to have a perfect sense of self. Yeah. Yeah. I'll fix you up.

Yeah, beautiful. There is idea that there is something to be got. There is something wrong right now. There's something wrong with me or the life as it is. That's right. And patterns can still arise to free up the way life is lived without having any sense of there being such a thing as perfect or fixed or right. So sometimes you've got to be careful that's not kind of a process of dismissing. No, no, I still think that's fair. You won't, but others do use language that does make it sound like that's just being dismissed. But even if dismissing happens, you know... Oh yeah, not having it either, but just saying, you know, it's a thing out there that can choke the past a little bit of just, I don't know, of freedom.

And freedom isn't, again, anything at a goal. If you don't... And that's in the free world, there's never any goals, you know. Yeah. Generally, the objective of the conditioning, of the essential survival mechanism of the body, is always to find itself the smoothest path. There is always a tendency to self-heal and self-regulate. Yeah, that's what goes meaningful. Yeah, it's without any trying, without anyone taking credit. If therapy is required, it will show up. If there is other form of healing required,Somehow that life essence that is looking after and keeping the body alive will bring it into the attention. Just like the pain arises and this is the call for attention to do something about it.

If freedom is the path that's happening. And then there's also some kind of like... From the Indian perspective, I read somewhere once, there's those in the downward path, those in the neutral one, and those in a free and one, you know. So you're one or the other. One or the other is happening, you know, for now. Yeah. And I'm guessing the ones on the downward, you know. The healing won't show up if it's required. Well, everything constantly changes. The one that was going down, you know, the tide going out, will soon be the tide going in. There'll be some change. Some change with your life.

It's a dream. Exactly. It's a dream. Okay, relax, chill. You can't do anything. And I'm very chilled, see, but might be assumed I'm not, so there again. That's why I just... You want me to keep hanging in the bowl? Thank you. Thank you, Kat. Thank you, everyone. Do you want to have a last word? Come on. Last word. Come on. What about Shakespeare? Can Shakespeare have the last word? Since I nor any man but man be, With nothing will he be pleased till he be eased.We've been nothing. Beautiful. Amen. Amen. Hallelujah. Yes. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. Good question.