Ocean expressing as waves. Sailor Bob and friends. 22 Oct 2023

James again, Tristan, Sheila, Michael, Conrad, Tom, Jim, Norman, Zaroja, Andrew, Mujica, CK, Tony, Jesus, Nils, Adrian, Richard, Dean, James, and Bob. Morning everyone. Morning. Good to see you all. I got up this morning, I wasn't feeling too hot or too cold. Or too good. Or too bad. Wasn't very nice at all. And then, after a little while, the doorbell rang and there was Tristan. And then there was somebody else. And somebody else. And it became much easier and lighter. As the more energy, was released, into this room. And look at it now. And we talk about non-duality. One without a second, not two. That it's only life.

Isn't it so? Each and any one of you can't negate your livingness, your beingness, right now. But when the belief is that there is a separate entity, only this personal, personal life, it can be very, very narrow and very tied up. But each one of you sitting there, can you say, I begin and end here? Are you a separate entity or are you the life? If you shut yourself off, as they say, from the sunlight or the spirit, well then life becomes very narrow, like it was here this morning. It wasn't shut off from, but was what was appearing in it or expressing in it, was overwhelming.

It wasn't being, or it could be with its feelings and emotions and stirring up, let go of as easily as it has been over the past few years. But now because it's recognised as the one essence, the one being, it's a part of the process. It is much easier, as I say, none of you can say, I am the life. You can all say, I am the life, but can you say you are separate from the one sitting next to you, or the one over the other in the room, or recognise when that was there, we've isolated ourselves, separated ourselves. And there can be fear and anxiety for that sense of separation.

And recognise the absoluteness. Of it, the totality. What or who or why is there to fear? To be angered at? Or to feel unfulfilled? And while it's ignored, there will be that non-fulfilment, that anger, that fear, that isolation. There's a great ease in it here right now again because it's been opened up to what's come into the room. And expressing itself to each and every one of you. And so I can point to it again and again and again. And each one of you can do the same. And the more it's recognised and opened to, the easier it will flow through. And the more and more so-called secrets, the more people who are called seeming individuals, that hear it, can resonate with it.

And make it their own. And making it their own, that's where the life will be expressed more effortlessly, more naturally. And in that effortless naturalness, there is a great sense of wellbeing. Love. Warmth. Understanding. or cognizing, re-cognizing. They call it a cognizing emptiness. Pointing out this manifestation is the one life, the one essence, which in a lot of the scriptures will talk about God as the one essence. But we go a little bit further here, pointing out the idea of God is just another word, another label. And what was said before they had the term God in the most ancient of scriptures will tell you there is only that, that absolute life, that pure intelligent entity, that one being, that one knowing, that loving to be, that one essence appearing and expressing and everything.

And that's the wonderment of it. It can express as anything and everything. So each and none of us, though we've taken on the belief we're separate entities, we are these persons, we are these individuals, we're not good enough, and we've got to never become that. What they've told you, that is all there is. It's always and never been that. It's only our conceptualizing, our thinking. As Shakespeare told you 500 years ago when he was a young man, he said, I'm going to be a man of God. I'm going to be a man of God. He said, there's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes us so.

If it's not good, if it's not bad, we're not putting those thoughts on it, good or bad, what is it then? Isn't it just as it is? And what is wrong with right now if you're not putting any of those thoughts or concepts onto it? You can't put the concept bad, good, or high, low, pleasant, loving, hating, or anything like that. It's just as it is. Just like the space around you and the life outside of this window here that's going on in this manifestation. It's just as it is. And it doesn't mean to say there's only just one thing happening, and it's good and beautiful, it's wonderful.

It's expressing and appearing in all its diversity. It's never been anything other than the one. Because just like it's daylight here now, and the other side of the earth where they're facing away from the sun, it'll be dark. But who's claiming the darkness and the light? Is it the darkness screaming out, I'm the darkness? Is it the light I'm screaming out, I'm the light? Or is it just as it is? And isn't it like everything else transient? What's light here, will stay light for a little while, and then the earth will move around the sun and face away from it, and it'll be dark again.

Are we too concerned with that? We're not. Why? Because it's been going on all our so-called lives, day in day out, it's been daylight, dark, daylight, dark, and taking it into a little bit further, looking into the mind. What's our thinking mean? Good and bad. pleasant, painful, happy, sad, loving, hating. We're dividing it up constantly. But in any of that seeming division, has anyone stopped being? Not being this or being that. As soon as the this and that comes in, you're putting the concepts and division on. But just being. Or being aware. Use the term awareness. And you can't tell me what awareness is. But you know for a fact that you're not unaware.

And no one's sitting there that's unaware. Everybody is aware. But what that awareness is, you do not know. That you can't say you are not. So you are being. And you're knowing that. And you're loving to be that. Being, knowing, loving to be. That's the way of putting it. The Sat-Shit and And-A. The existence, the consciousness, the loving to be. And the Nama-Rupa. What's Nama-Rupa? Well they call it in the scriptures, name and form. What's names? Names are words. And what are the words? We put on the words the shapes and the forms. Body, mind, carpet, chair, tree, flower, light, earth. Name and form. The forms, the patterns, the shapes, they're appearing and the labels we put on them.

And they tell us clearly that Nama-Rupa, name and form is Maya. It's illusion. You and I and everyone sitting here are illusory patterns, shapes and forms. But the life that you are, that's shining through, the innate knowing, the pure intelligence energy, is there. And have a look at that. Who took that breath you just took? Was it the name and form, me, the body, mind? Or was it the life and self? The name, the life is breathing you. Breathing your heart. Feeling your hair and your fingernails. Digesting your food. And without any concepts, what is it? Without any words, it's just still pure being. Pure knowing.

Pure being. Because in that knowingness, the knowing is there. If I use the words, I have to say I am. And I am is a concept or a word. But without the words, anyone disappeared? Anyone who's not saying or having that thought right now, you haven't disappeared out of this room. You haven't gone anywhere. And that knowingness is still there. See what's happened. We've taken on this idea that we are this person. We are this body. We are this mind. We are this separate entity. And today I had a good experience and it was great. But somebody said something to me that I don't like.

And I believe they were right and I'm wrong or I shouldn't be like this. And the story starts. I start a story about me. I'm not good enough. Or I'm unhappy. Or I'm fearful. Or they shouldn't have said this. And I'll get revenge on them when I do this. The story starts. All these concepts. Imagination. And the Psychiatrist tells you clearly, nothing can trouble you. Except in your own imagination. And it's not somebody else's imagination. It's your own imagination. What you are imaging in. And that is all imagination is. We are creating mental images. Conceptual image. I am Bob the Australian. That's not feeling too good today.

Unhappy. And all this yesterday. And I'm not going to last too long. I won't be around. And then... We can create a great story. And the energy of belief can come into it. And it will be very miserable. But does it have to be that way? It was that way. And it was that way for many years. It seems very solid and very substantial. Because we learnt words. And what did we do when we went to school? We learnt more words. And what did the other kids all around us tell you? So and so. And I don't like you. You're a nasty boy. Or you're this, that, me other.

Or you're a good one. You're my favourite. All these concepts and they were all fulfilling those concepts themselves. When everybody is thinking like that. It's hard. For any. Thing. That hasn't investigated. And thrown into that. To deny it. Negate it. And so it's natural for us all to take it on board. And live from that aspect. From that point of view. And it goes on. It goes on for years. And will continue to go on. But fortunately. There is something innately. Which each and every one of you are. Which is using. That pattern, shape and form to express. That recognises and reasons. And comes up.

This is not good enough. There's got to be a bit more to it than that. And we've got the scriptures there. And the religions. And all the rest of it. That point to it. But they put all sorts of. Concepts and ideas on it. Put pattern, shapes and forms. But broke it down from its absoluteness. Into proviso. You've got to do this. Or you've got to become that. Or that. You're not good enough. Because you are. But the ones that have really understood. Have said no. You are already that. And that is all there is. And be what you are. Quit pretending to be. What you're not.

And whether we like or not. That's what's been happening. The pretence. That we are this person. We are this entity. We are this individual. And they've got many names for it. They call it absoluteness. God consciousness. Pure awareness. All sorts of descriptions. And when they are investigated. And looked into. And this believed in entity. Which is the sense of separation. Which is the sense of individuality. Which is separation. And personal. Is the problem. Because with that sense. Of separation comes in. Separation comes in security. Which is natural enough. If you feel you're isolated. And alone. You don't know what's going on around you. Who's going to be dirt on you.

Or where you're going to go. Like the wars and that. That are going on in the world today. And the unhappiness. All based on individuality. And separation. And something others believe. Being taken away. They're going to lose. Or if they do it. They're going to acquire. Or get something. And that's the cause. Of all our problems. We've learnt words. And taken on the idea that we are this separate entity. This person. I am Bob the Australian. The good fellow. And you're not that. You're not me. You're a so and so. Or maybe you're not so bad. But if you say something I don't like. You're going to be the other way around.

Very quickly. Because of the discrimination. The division. And separation goes on. Why shouldn't it? If we're learning words. And focusing on the words. Because have a look at this thing called mind. Which is nothing but thought. Word. What did Shakespeare tell you? When he said there's nothing either good or bad. But thinking makes us there. Well there it is. And look at your mind. And see if that's true. What I'm thinking is either good or bad. It's pleasant. It's painful. It's happy. It's sad. Loving. Hating. It's positive. We put the word. And put the meaning into the word that we've taken on. And put the belief or the energy into the belief.

And that energy will make it better or worse. Seemingly. Because it's believed. But what if I look into the word. And ask myself. How many words was I born with? But when I look into that. I realise I wasn't born with any words. I can't remember my birth. Have a look at my emotive lines. If you can tell me. But you can't tell me. Why can't you? Because you know very well. That you didn't have any words. You didn't pick up words till you were a couple of years old. So what would that tell you? Must tell me that I'm prior to the word. If I was there for a couple of years.

Before I learnt the word. I was there. What was I? I wasn't the word. I wasn't the concept. But could I negate the beingness? There was a knowing there. That I am or I was. I was is not correct anymore. Because I was implies a past time. A time when I was. What is wrong with right now? Is I now was? Or is it present? Were you present five minutes ago? If you like to recall it. You can say yes I was present five minutes ago. If you don't recall it. What can you say about it? But can you negate your beingness right now? There's no one sitting there who can say I am not.

Or you'll say can't I? I'm saying I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. But realise in even saying that. What enables you to say it? There must be something there. There must be a life there. That's enabled it to be expressed. Is it that body? That's alive. The life seems to express through this body. The body is made up of breathing, heart beating, hair and fingernails growing, food being digested. All expressions of that life. That makes up this seeming thing called a body. Which what do I do? I call it my body. Who is the entity or the individual or the thing that's the me or the my that's claiming the body?

Is it this body itself? Is it this person? Or look at it and say my house, my car, my hair, my sofa. Or mine. Who's the me or the my? Isn't that a concept or a word? And I look back on it. The first couple of years of my life and I had no words. What was I saying about it then? I couldn't say I was. It was making it be known by the yowling or calling out. It was bringing attention to itself. That the parents could look after it. So the life was happening. The functioning was happening. But I didn't have words like me or mine to claim it.

And so it would come up. And I might have been hungry. Get a bottle or something like that. It's quiet and down. Go on till something comes up, which I wasn't labelling as hunger or fear or anxiety. But it was just the sensation that was caused there. The word hadn't been put on the sensation and discriminated. So the functioning was spontaneous and natural. And that's what life is. Life is continual. It's temporary, appearing, patterning and expressing. But life, the word life. Not the person, not the individual, but life itself. And look at that. What is life? When I look outside and I see the trees, the flowers, the things happening, all sorts of things are happening.

Wind, air moving around, causing the trees and things to move. That's all life. Expressing. It's happening, shaping and forming. And that's what I'm told in the scriptures. I am the way. I am the truth. I am the life. We think they're talking about this body, this person, me. I am the way. I am the truth. I am the life. That sense of presence expressing through this pattern, that's the thought. I am. But is that thought the way? Is that thought the life? Is it the truth? You know the thought itself. It's not because I'm not thinking I am. I haven't dropped away, haven't disappeared, haven't stopped breathing.

Heart hasn't stopped breathing. So I am prior to the thought. Just the same as I was prior to the thought when there was no thinking or expressing going on until I learnt words. And we've forgotten about it. We've lost sight of it. And taken on the belief that we are this individual, this separate entity. And that's called the way. And that's caused a lot of fear. A lot of distress. A lot of unhappiness. A lot of guilt. Because I see these other patterns, shapes and forms, which are before these eyes right now. And there are all sorts of things. All this manifestation is appearing in this seeing.

But that's not recognised. I think... There is a seer that's doing the seeing. And that seer that's doing the seeing is separate from the seeing. What I see is not the seeing. It's become the object. What I think is not the thinking. It's become the object. But where is the seeing, the thinking, the hearing, the tasting, touching, taking place? In this pattern through which that life... If that life wasn't expressing through this pattern, what would it be? Well, you've been around long enough to see plenty of patterns where the life has stopped expressing through. What are they? Corpses. What happens to the corpse? It breaks down.

Where does it go? Does it stick around for very long? Not long before it rots and dissolves and go back into the space-like awareness, which all this manifestation is about. All conceptual images, concepts. What is a concept? A mental construct. And that's the wonderment and amazement of this patterning that goes on. The life in this body. It has the capacity of knowing, of being, of conceptualising or thinking. And expresses in all its diversity, in all the wondrous ways and lots of wondrous ways and things that we haven't even... come across yet. Which the scientists and philosophers and all the rest are still discovering. It hasn't got any beginning.

It hasn't got any ending. It's not complete and endless. It's constantly ever fresh and ever new. Presence awareness. Constantly transient. Constantly changing. Now, going along as a separate entity, I realise there's been a lot of misery at times. There's been moments when it's been happy, when it's been happy and it's been enjoyable. Lots of moments when it was unhappy. When it was depressed and when it was jealous. It was angry, it was fearful. Discontented. What are all those things? They're all words I've learnt. All labels or concepts which the meaning has gone into and formed a reasoning, a knowing, a seemingly feeling or an emotion.

And what does that do to this pattern through which you express it? It upsets it. Without the concepts, without the words, when you're in deep sleep, what's going on there? The sleep is being enjoyed. There's not all this unhappiness and fear and that's going on. If we start dreaming, form concepts and words, it is. Then we think. But we realise in a deep sleep there was nothing wrong. Everything was fine. Everything was okay. But it wasn't too good because there was no thing happening. Now what happens if I recognise that and in the waking state don't latch onto the story? The words which have been upsetting it, which have been discriminating it, been causing the dualism perspective of it and the feelings that go along with that, the fear, the anger, the depression, causing all this psychological, all this psychological suffering to happen.

And the belief in it to make it seem like a lot stronger than what it is. And making this physical pattern, which when it was born was pristine, new, ever fresh, miserable, unhappy, discontented and unreal. And I sit here now and as I said before, get the sense. When it's one, when there's one was sitting there, there are a lot of thoughts that were unable to go on. But now, in sitting with here and the recognition of each and every one of you, it's fresh. It's new. There's a sense of wellbeing. I can settle into it. And it's taken away a lot of that dis-ease.

It's breaking this pattern down. It hasn't got long to go to focus around. And it's good to sit in here. To feel well. And it's each and every one of you that helps it to be that way. So don't deny or negate your own being. Don't isolate and separate yourself. Because you're not only separating yourself, you're stopping others from recognising the naturalness and effortlessness of what you are. They say in the scriptures, nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. So thinking is the concept. It puts on the concept of time. When you look into the concept of time, is there a past?

If you don't think about it. Well go and have a look. What's the past? What they call the past is something that's gone. Go back and live it if you can. Can you live yesterday? You can't go back and live it yesterday. Can you live five minutes ago? You can't live five minutes ago. You can recall it. Bring those minds. You can recall what you said. I can recall five minutes ago and what it was like then. But when are you recalling it? Isn't it right in this moment? You can't tell me what you thought a minute ago unless you bring it back again and bring it into the foreground.

But there'll be a fresh new thought there in this moment. The same with the future. Imagine and anticipate what you're going to do when you leave it. And we're constantly doing that. As you see, the life we've been living as this separate entity is always past and future. And the presence hasn't lasted very long because the presence is this spontaneous and ever fresh now. Spontaneous. It means it hasn't got any duration. The past has got a duration. Last week, last year, 20 years ago. The future has got a future. Tomorrow, next week, next year. But presence, the past is presence right now. It's got it.

Hasn't it gone? And isn't it there again, fresh and new? It's got no length or time or date or anything to it. It's a spontaneous functioning. A vibration of energy. A movement of life. And they tell you there's only life. Life is all there is. There is nobody who lives a lie. Nobody. A lot of bodies in this room. These are expressing and patterning that life. But there's no individual life. When we think the life goes out of the body, well, it's individually gone. But if there's only life, if it went out of this pattern and it was all there is, wouldn't it be everywhere else also?

But the way it expresses it, expressing its diversity in its many ways, but it's still only the one. Recognise that? What are you going to do? You're going to stay in this narrow confines of the personal, the poor, limited, unhappy, fearful, anxious, depressed, jealous me. Are you going to open up and say, I am that life. I am that spontaneous joyousness. The sense of wellbeing. That's there if I'm open to see it. But while I'm open to see the fear, the anxiety, and bringing that to the fore, the stress, the guilt, the shame, that's the way it's going to express. But be what they say.

There is only life and you are that. That's the great mantra. I am that. Look at that. That is all there is. Isn't it? Because that's the chair I'm sitting in. That's you. That's the carpet. That's me. That's the mirror at the end of the room. That's the room. Everything is that, which we don't leave as that. We put the label on it. The word. Tree, chair, flower, sky, place, God, you, me. All discriminating that. And everything is that without the word. Take the words off and see for yourself. Stop the thought if you can. You can't pause the thought for very long. But you can for a brief moment and see for yourself.

Without the concept, without the word, you stop breathing, you stop hearing, stop tasting, touching or smelling, and realise that you are prior to the word. Prior. You are before the word. And as you go back, as I said earlier, see that you didn't have any words until you were a couple of years old. You know that for certain. I was there for a couple of years. I didn't know any words. And I was getting along not too bad. There might have been things happening in my life, like they're happening everywhere. But left as they were, with the aid of the parents and things around me, they worked themselves out.

And I've got to this stage, where this sense of separation became more developed and more seemingly real, and the suffering became worse. But the looking into it over a few years, it's seen for what it is and it's become less. But there again, as so-called time goes on, and the pattern ages like everything does, and it's going to break down eventually, what's seemingly happening quicker now. But where before there's a fear and uncertainty about death, death, where can it go? What can happen to it? When people like Nisargadatta say that there's only life, there's nobody who lives a life, none of these bodies here or anywhere else are living in the life.

There's only life, there's nobody who lives a life. And life lives on life. For out of life, more life comes. And where did you come from? You came from that life of your parents, your father and your mother. Without that life, could you be there? And where did they come from? The life of their parents. And where did they come from? The life of their parents. When did life begin? You've got to go back and try and utilise the concept, the concept of time, and realise that time itself is a mental concept. A mental concept. As I pointed out before, there's no past unless I think about it.

There is no future. So without time, there is the timeless. Presence, awareness. Beginningless and endless. Birthless and deathless. So in the understanding and recognition of that, recognition or cognising, re-cognising, and the Buddha told us that, many people down in the ages, so-called people, have expressed it, have understood it, and recognise the oneness and non-duality. And you are the same as they are. And you and I can do the same. Recognise. The Buddha called it a cognising, the emptiness. Realising that emptiness has the capacity of cognising or knowing. There's not one person in this room who hasn't got that cognising or knowingness. Each one of you know that I am.

And he made the statement then that emptiness is form. And you and I and all these patterns are forms. Shapes and forms. The trees are shapes and forms. All things are shapes and forms except the space. The space has got no shape or form. It's got no centre, no beginning or end. You can't find a point to it. Space is no thing, it's emptiness. And he called it a cognising emptiness. Pointing out that cognising, space-like awareness is the emptiness. Because he said the emptiness is form. It's vibrating into patterns, shapes and forms. And the forms are nothing but the emptiness. Those patterns, shapes and forms, we take to be real.

You and me, the trees, the flowers, the birds, the bees and everything. We take them to be empty and separate and something else. He said the forms can be nothing other than the emptiness. So it's all that. And then as Wei Weiwei says, why are you unhappy? Because everything you say, everything you think and everything you do is for yourself. And it's the saying, thinking and doing which is the division, which is the separation. He says that's the... Everything is for yourself and he says there isn't one. There isn't a yourself. There isn't a myself. There is what they tell you in the scriptures, there is one self.

The one life. The one atmosphere. Or the one self. And then we make the mistake of calling it God. And separating it again to something higher. And that's a trap also as far as I'm concerned. Because that self is everything. You are that one. You are that one self. It patterns, shapes and forms and experiences and expresses as everything. That's the wondrous intelligence of it. The amazing life. Grasp it right now. I am. Enjoy it. Live it. Breathe it. Express it. And then the thoughts, feelings and notions, left as they are, will constantly change. Because that's what this life is. It is ever fresh. It's ever changing.

It's ever knowing. It's ever appearing. It is ever a wearing or being. Why interfere with it? It wasn't until I recognised that problem that others have pointed out that it's the very interference with it that's trying to change it. Leave it as it is. Unaltered. Unmodified. Uncorrected. Remember it brought you into existence. Through the functioning of the intelligence or life in your father and your mother that enabled that sperm and ovum to come together and form the little embryo which you are today. You didn't do anything about it then. The first couple of years of your life you didn't have any words. You didn't do anything about it then.

We took on this belief we had of persons and think it's so important. We did it from then on and stuffed it up. And that's what we're doing now. We're doing it now. It doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't have to be that way. So you've all got a chance to tell us about it. I'm careful to tell you all about it. We're on tune as is somebody else. So thank you. Good work. Good work. He deserves a chocolate man. Good job. We've got 24 people here with us and a lot of welcome messages from all over the world. From Maui, from Queensland.

And one comment beautifully expressed Bob. You deserve that chocolate. That's from Christopher. Thank you. Yeah, that's chocolate from Dean's mum for the one who will speak clearly. Yes, so apart from that we don't really have any more comments. So the mic goes to you guys if you have anything to ask or anything to comment or anything to share. Or... Just see what you think. Just see what you heard. Just even repeat, bring back what was... What was touching your heart the most about the spiel. Anyone wants to start? I think the thing that really struck me was leave it unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected. You know, because that's what's coming up for me more and more.

That's what's coming up here more and more in every aspect of the life that's living this... I just think it's probably one of the best little pointers of all time. Yeah, that's what came up here. Beautiful. Yeah, it is a lovely one. Yeah, just going off that and also what Bob was saying, you know, about his experience this morning. And I think sometimes... We can think, you know, oh, I shouldn't have these... You know, with this realization, you know, I shouldn't have these thoughts that this is bad or I'm thinking dual. But realizing that that too is a part... That too can be observed and the I am is prior to that.

And just witnessing that too is a part of the play of Maya. So I really enjoyed Bob just sharing that. And then, you know, how yes, even, you know, Sattvic energy can... That awareness... We never shut off from it, but that energy can kind of make it more in our field of awareness as well. So... Beautiful. Absolutely. We have a comment here from Catherine and James. Oh, they're just sending love. That's... Yeah, okay. Sending love to everyone. I thought it was a question or a comment. So, okay. Anyone? If not, I'll just highlight how beautiful and important is that. You know, like... Perfectly one. This is one message.

This is all one. What Jane was saying and what James was saying and what Bob was saying in so many ways. It's really pointing to the one. If everything is that, well, what are you going to do with it? Leave it unaltered, unmonitified, uncorrected. And that includes the dysregulation. That includes the anger, the sadness, the doubts. Any thought, any feeling, any emotion, any expression of that life is just appearing on that screen of awareness. That screen of awareness which is what we essentially are. Because initially it feels like, oh, yeah, no, you know, when I close my eyes and I feel, that feels like there is me, individuality.

No, individuality doesn't feel like anything. What is the feeling is when you push away the thoughts, the concepts, what you are. And you can rest in that undeniable ability of existence, of presence. That is... That is what is directly experienced. The idea that I am experiencing to be a woman is nonsensical. If I don't have a concept of being a woman, how can I possibly experience that in the moment? Yes, in the story, in the context, absolutely. But that's the dream. But within the direct experience of the moment, without relying on descriptions, thoughts, ideas that are being believed or preconditioned, there is just the experience of being.

And that experience of being is adorned. Or is dressed up in a costume of, no, this is me. I'm Australian or Polish or I'm a woman or it's a poor me and I had a trauma or I have the ADHD or whatever the concepts are. But those concepts are appearing secondarily, like Bob beautifully pointed on the beginning of the spiel. You were born as a little body-mind. But what was born? The life created that fetus. The life grew itself, that body. And the life came out as the form that has been labelled or named. But as a little three months old, you didn't really have anything to do or know about the label or about the shape or form.

That was just plain being, pure being. And then the language came on board. And the identification with the idea of what I am or who I am started strengthening from about the age of two when the mirror test is passed. And then things are added. Experiences, memories, traumas. But the livingness is underneath it and is directly experienced right from before the birth of the body really. Up until now and it is the same because it doesn't have any qualities. It's just a pure screen, pure presence. On that, the upset, the sadness, the concepts, the ideas come and go. As James was saying, they can be witnessed.

So they're impermanent. They're just passing phenomena. So everyone directly experiences right now the pure presence, undivided, without any limits. If you experience being limited or separated, that is because of the concept. If you experience, if there is an experiencing, let's say of something that calls for a label of contraction or anxiety, that is also a concept. That experience of contraction or anxiety. That experience of anxiety appears on that empty screen of pure knowing, pure existence, being knowing. Osat chitananda. Which is a lovely description also because we love words. So suddenly the one became three. A trinity. Omnipresence, omnipotence, omniscience. Osat chitananda. Being, knowing, loving to be.

But it is just a description. Description is never described. Direct experience when the words are pushed aside is beyond words. Because it doesn't exist. It doesn't have qualities. Nothing applies to it. And everything that comes and goes is just passing phenomena. It comes and goes in you. That space-like awareness. That sky-like awareness. We had a couple of emails exchanged. We don't usually engage in email conversation unless I'm particularly asked for it because Bob doesn't really type that much anymore. But there was a confusion around the idea of awakening. The email had the confession or a statement that the illusion of self was seen through. But they are memories of the trauma.

Are they in a way of awakening? Well, awakening, if you even want to use that word, is only from the illusion of self. So if the illusion of self has been seen through, there's nothing else to be seen or awakened to. But who awakens from the illusion of self? There's no self that awakens. Because a self is being awakened from. So that actually clears the topic. Whatever shows up, trauma, memory, whatever, it doesn't really matter. It shows up in that clear seeing. And if the illusion of self shows up on that screen, well, that's just one of the contents. It doesn't even matter. The suffering only shows up.

And it happens when there is identity, identification, the energy of belief. No, this is I. This is who I am, what I am. I am unworthy. I am limited. I am poor, traumatized, sick, mentally ill, or whatever. Well, what is that I? The pure field of knowing does not have those qualities. It's not sick. It's not limited. It's not anxious. And it is experienced moment to moment. But as Bob sometimes says, it is being experienced, but it is being ignored. The unborn Buddha mind is being traded for a thought of being that separate individual, that me. And nobody's guilty of it. It's just a habit.

Go on, Adrian. I was going to say, I think sometimes, like, there could be a lot of, when we talk about me and thoughts, it feels like there's almost a tangibility to that. Yeah. Sort of thing. It's like, oh, what is this entity? But really, it's a shadow. Like, it's a real, there was never any a me. Yes. It's a complete imagined thing. So there was never a me. Never a me. There's not like one there, and then it's going to go. Like, it never actually existed. It's all imagined. It couldn't have. So there's been some more deep scenes around that. Yeah. Because sometimes it's like, oh, there's thoughts, there's me, and then the mind wants to go and analyze what's the me and all that sort of stuff.

Mm. Mm. But I keep coming back to Bob's point, is like, even like, you know, the reflection in the mirror is literally like that, isn't it? It's an appearance. Totally. Go to grab it. It's not there. That's the same as a me. Yes. Yeah. Yes. It's... That's the matter. And it's, you walk away from the mirror, the reflection goes, but there's something, you know, the mirror is still there. It still appears. Reflection still appears real. And when it goes, something doesn't go. Yeah. There, you're still there. Mm. But I like Bob's stuff this morning also about the immediacy of everything and the spontaneity of everything.

Yeah. Like life just keeps lifing. Mm. It's lifing. Stopping to try and analyze it is like trying to, you know, I'm in the story again and this is me experiencing this. My life doesn't care. It's just doing its... Mm. It's creating and collapsing. Yeah. And there was never like a, there was never any other me either. Like, there was no me. There was never a me. I was with my family last night and, you know, like, it's just this thing where there's just me's and the stories of me's and endless, you know, remembrances of how me was and how me's changed and how me's evolved and all this family stuff is fantastic.

And, and, and it's like, Bob, you know, Bob, you said it today, like stop pretending what, who you're not and, and be who you are. Like, and being who you are is, is free. Like it actually, there's no idea what you really are. It's actually a spontaneous movement and spontaneous action, a word, a feeling, a sensation, a response. And it's all, it's all completely unknown. Like it's, it's, it just arises and explodes into whatever that looks like. And being who you are is indescribable. But it's wondrous. So we had this dinner with my family. My dad got angry at my niece and walked five kilometres home.

Got up from the table. He's never walked like 500 metres in the last 10 years. And he walked, and I was like, and I was watching this whole parade of like everyone pretending, but if everyone's pretending, they're, they're, they're pretending. It's like, it's amazing when you just see it as, as it is. And it's beautiful. Like it's an incredible show. It is. Of just like, it's like caricatures. Coutures. Of everyone playing their little role in, in, in, in the perfect way. And somehow like, even that, like I remember my dad used to have these moods and it could last like months. And I just looked at him and just laughed.

And he, and that was the end of it. Like that was the end of the story. He was happy and you know, it was all forgotten. And because there's no, there's no belief in that actual thing. It's, it's being who you are is, is very spontaneous, unknowing. There's no, it doesn't drag into this whole history and, and the, of a, of a, of a, of a pretense of what was not, which never was. It just, oh, I don't know. It's very exciting. I'm not really not sure what I'm talking about. But it's, I'm just happy to be here and happy to be here with Bob.

And thank you for everything Bob and everyone. Beautiful. Mitra behind you. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Well, I don't see what you see very clearly. How do you know? So clear. So I understand now that. Yeah. It's probably very, you know, obvious and I just, I'm just keep missing it. And then I turn back and really like when you say examine and investigate. Um, like, uh, Farrs cannot stand the investigation, something like that, that you say Bob. And so I'm starting actually doing this investigation. Um. So in the sense of, in my senses and beliefs. So with the senses, it's hearing is very clear.

You know, when I close my eyes, there is no hearer. It's only hearing. And there is no separation because the bird can sing over there and I'm here, but I cannot really say I'm separated from the bird. Hmm. So it's very clear. With seeing, it just occurred to me on Friday, maybe on, that's why I'm checking. Like I'm just investigating every single one. Like for seeing, I thought, well, I, if I see, for example, you over there or the pot over there, what's my evidence to see, say? And you say space is also included in that. So what is my evidence to say there is a separation?

Is it as simple as this or am I missing something? Absolutely. Super simple. It's even simpler than that. Okay. So that's a bad thing. Yeah. So I'm not separated because I don't, I can't really say they both in the field of awareness, right? Absolutely. So that's simple. Very simple. Super simple. Just presence appearing as forms. So sensing, so I'm feeling this catch, right? Yeah. I can say that, well, the feeling also says that I'm not separated, right? No, it's just one feeling. But it feels separated. No, it doesn't. It actually, can you separate sensation on your hand from sensation? You can't. It's one sensation. That's right.

It's the thought that tells you there is a hand and there is a couch. Experience doesn't say there is two. Wow, that's also very simple. Yes, super simple. As simple as this. It's super simple. Nothing simpler. Nothing simpler. It's that simple that we miss it because we listen to the mind, to the translation. But the direct experience is singular. It's not a simple thing. It's a simple thing. It's a simple thing. I can't think of many other senses of what it is. Lovely, don't say it. It's a tree of a taste. Okay, you can just say that about everything. Everything. Do you think you're going to work it out in the mind?

I think I can work it out in my mind. That's true. Really? I do. I can't. What I'm trying to, I know that it's, I totally believe you that when you say we can't comprehend it. I cannot understand. There is nothing to understand basically, correct? Nobody asking you to believe it. Investigate it yourself. You say you totally believe me. So you're believing me because belief is not the actuality. Check it out. But I'm checking out like this. That's my way of checking out. What are you finding? To be very honest, I don't understand why then I don't get it. Why? Because I don't stick to the sound.

You just got it. You just got it. You just realized that yes, there is one sensation. Yes, there is one seeing. You just said, oh, is it that simple? That's it. Why you hold on to the idea that you don't get it? There's an understanding. See that, the game boy? Understanding that you don't understand. And that's really not even an understanding. That's a false idea. That's a concept. There is an understanding that I don't understand. You say. I don't understand. You wouldn't say that if you didn't understand, would you? Why don't I get what you say? Something is blocking. Because there's an I. Right. There's an I in this narrative that you're saying this I or me doesn't understand.

Right? And so have a look at that me. That me, as Bob has so beautifully pointed out, is just a story. It's a story. Leave it unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected. And what is there? Don't identify with that me in that narrative. Because what you are is there's the me and there's the response to the me. The response to the me is I don't understand. There's the I or the me and then there's the I don't understand. So it's like two. Yes. It's like... Yeah. Okay. It's like a dog chasing its tail. That's what it's like. It's like a dog chasing its tail. That's it. When the dog stops, everything's just as it is.

That's very simple. Because when I want to find that me, I really can't find it. Well, that's because it's only a story. The mind's trying to work out separation can't work out separation. Yeah. You're using the wrong tool to try to... Experience and find the no separation. So the mind trying to work out and going, I shouldn't be feeling it. It still feels like I'm separate to them and I should feel like one thing is using the mind to try to... Which will never get there because it's an imagined character trying to find something that's... Yeah, I get that. It's a concept. Yeah. So it can't find reality.

So I get that. I get that. So there is no me. There is no me. Okay. Why? Who wants to know? Who wants to know? The minute you say but or why... What am I looking for then? Exactly. The minute you say but or why, it's the story again taking over. Say that one that's looking. Who's looking? Who wants to know? There is a feeling that I haven't found or I'm emotionally attached to it. I don't know what it is because I don't feel light. But it's not a feeling. There is no feeling that I don't get it. Feeling is pleasure, pain, hot, cold. I don't get it.

It's not a feeling. It's a thought. It's a concept. When you believe that concept, the belief in that concept causes the contraction in the body. And then you say there is no lightness. But be with the experience. Don't be with the thought. Because in direct experience, you're looking to seeing, hearing and ah, ah, ah. And then you go to the thought, to the concept. No, no, I don't get it. I don't feel light. I don't feel love. I don't blah, blah, blah. This is not a feeling. It's a story. Push that story aside and go again to the direct experience. If there is a direct experience of touching the sofa or the direct experience of heaviness, either way, it is a singular experiencing.

And it is not there all the time. It's not important. It is there for a moment. It will go away. For now, it is there. You can just bask in the mystery of that moment, of that experiencing. But the moment you give it a thought and you believe that thought, oh, that's a proof that I'm not getting it. Everyone's going, oh, no, no, no, no. No. It's no proof. It's just leaving the direct experience and trading the unborn Buddha mind for the thought, for the story. But when you recognize that this is just a habit, you can see that storytelling, that narration habit also as just another experience, like touching the sofa or hearing the sound.

And what comes to mind here is that wonderful quote of Krishnamurti's, all conflict arises between me and the other. So this me can only live in memory. It's a story of you. It isn't you. What do I do to get rid of this? You don't. You can't. This is a feeling. Thank you. I can see this exploration as a bit of an outside-in approach and an inside-out approach. So the outside-in is seeing how things can be reduced right out of the picture, like to, you know, there's a hand in a chair coming one sensation. Okay, that doesn't take it to nothing. So that's why there's still a bit of a year.

But it does show you that a whole bunch of stuff is just additional and can disappear if we look more closely. Another one for me is like the idea that a microscope on the edge of your hand will reveal a lot of space and, you know, you might be sitting on that edge, but if you zoom right in, you won't even be able to tell there's an edge there. So these are kind of outside-in ways, which kind of use the brain a bit, but also help you to see how concepts, there's a lot of extra concepts in there due to not looking closely enough. The inside-out approach is what's there when you're not thinking about it.

That's the only, is kind of what Jane was referring to. And I hadn't really sort of seen the, you know, those three words, the untouched whatever, as being exactly the same as what's there when you're not thinking about it. I hadn't quite spotted that before. But, and that one is just like get more and more of that, expand that, accept that that's enlightenment and expand it somehow. Just get to that non-thinking moment more often, more remembering to do it. And it happens more and more. And that's the true nothing there. The other thing here is that for here, it just seemed, I seem to be a bit different from the others.

Like some things have never been here. Like the idea of free will values when they're used as a kind of motivational tool mean nothing much here at all. Never ever have. And life goes on and there's no big disaster about that. You know, being majorly attached to people has never been that prominent here. And, you know, issues around that are more like, oh, people think I'm uncaring or dear. Maybe that's an issue. Maybe you should look at it, you know. But persistent well-being or, you know, persistent not thinking about it in a certain way, you know, it's not, it doesn't, it hasn't really have much here at all.

But you guys can say stuff and it stays that way while it's being remembered because of this room and the things that are being raised constantly in this room. Okay, that was complete aside. I was going to say for here, it's a bit different. It's like, it's really sitting with the triggers, the out there triggers into reactions and annoyances. And this is difficult. The future is going to be uncomfortable. The present is uncomfortable. The future is going to be uncomfortable. The past doesn't ever show up here because of the no free will thing. It's really just not regrets, meaningless when there's only ever one series of events that ever happen.

So it really here, sitting with a cold face and this sort of show shows up, you know, the show of like, there might be a picture of being stabbed in a toga, random shit shows up here, phrases, times in the life when those phrases produce those same emotions from the same types of patterns and people. And all of that sort of shows up and it kind of dissipates and sometimes that issue goes away forever and my life changes and it's freer and there's just no reactions in that area. Sometimes it's less, sometimes it's a little less, you know. And oftentimes it takes a month before any more of that happens and it's a reduction of the, you know, it's taught to speak here, what's that about?

And there's, oh, processing is something that happens here. And all of that's a story because it just continues at its speed. It just becomes less botherment about how it's unfolding or happening. So yeah, so different, some people just sitting there with the constant reminders of what's there when you're not thinking about it, meditation or that approach is relevant. Here, at first, I think getting rid of the, once I understood how all that works, getting rid of the triggers is the most relevant. And then after a couple years of that, I can come here in an hour and a half if no thinking happens. I can't think of even anything because enough of those triggers, you know, stop coming in.

You know, and my triggers involve like people's thoughts about me, you know, so in terms of being naughty. So, you know, that's the people in the room. But I prefer it even today when these things still get triggered because it's more like they're moving away from those triggers and seeing what it feels like and noticing things moving and seeing there's just movement. There's an enjoyment here seeing how it all operates and kind of it's just getting closer and closer to removal of those triggers. And it's a lot of what Bob said today about, you know, ignoring that stuff and that sort of thing. It felt like on the horizon that it was going to get looked at here more.

And it's just, yeah, no sense in me doing it. It's just gonna, you know, it's like, oh yeah, that might show up soon. Yeah, I think this has already been said, I think. But me, Tria. I think we've all been taught that when you put your hand on the couch and you have an experience of not being separate and you hear the bird singing, you recognize you're not separate. So there's something there that's aware of the bird and the self that's there before the sound of the bird, before the sound of the self. Is that what you're experiencing when you put your hand on the couch where you hear the...

What is it where you recognize that it's... No, but people who are with us need that. So yes, what I experience is something is aware of both. Aware of both. Aware of the bird. Because I can say, apart from the bird, nothing else exists. Right? When you say, I am unaware, there is an awareness of your unawareness. Which one are you gonna take? The awareness of your thought. The awareness of your mind. The awareness of your mother and father and your mind and your mind and your mind and your mind and your mind. And so that's where the awareness is realized. So yes, it could be the mind and the thought.

But what I want to say is like now go back to the thought. And then that I don't get it. So there's something that's there before the I comes up. And something that's there before the thought, I don't get. in his own way that there's this me if you like or I thought and then there's the story that goes with it well that's the nature of the mind the nature of the mind is to work in the pairs of opposites pleasure pain happy sad you me and it's all time bound which is also a concept all right so when you really really think about that if you want to use the mind to figure things out really think about that you know the nature of the mind is to work in the pairs of opposites it's and and it's all appearing on that presence that you are that awareness whatever you want to call it and it's it's like the beautiful metaphor of this of the mirror too you know they're just little pings in the mirror you know they're sort of pinging here there and everywhere and it's always going to be that way and you know that's the nature of the mind the images come and go the story relating to them come and go but what's happened to the awareness what's happened to the awareness nothing that's it and it's so it's the identification with those stories and those images and naming and claiming them and and not and saying i don't understand that's that therein lies the conflict because you're you're in bondage to something that is actually just a phantom the phantom of the me yeah which can only live in the past or the or the future it's a story what is that false thing what is doing that that's funny before i think um sometimes it's in the sagarada would talk about this it's better better worse whatever but it's helpful to use the mind to identify what you are not rather than what you are because because when you use the mind to try and identify what you are it will create some image some concept so what anything that you perceive you are not you are the perceived and then say we'll go into you are the perceiving but even that right don't get too attached to that idea just experience it and just discount discount discount anything that you perceive you are not just discount discount and what you are will remain beautiful great point did peter want to say something trying to say anything about lou anyway it's just i'm thinking that life and awareness are the same thing really okay life awareness presence it's all the same thing yeah any difference between those things no no so you know your experience of being here now is it i have to be it your experience of being aware is it and your experience of being alive is it if there is an experience at all you have it's like and um the life that i am is the life that you are mitra and see if there's a difference between those things yeah it's all the same thing there i think it's very important to collapse the duality collapse it into oneness right because we are all the one so it's a very good analogy is the ocean and the waves each wave rises from the ocean but is nothing but the ocean the wave cannot exist without the water the ocean but the ocean the water can exist without that wave but each wave that's rising is nothing but the ocean so where is the difference i can identify being a wave and being that wave yes i have a beginning i live for a while and then i die so there was a birth a living and a destruction of it into the ocean but it rose from the ocean so each image that you see is nothing but consciousness when it is consciousness because it's risen from consciousness is sustained in consciousness and it will then merge in consciousness then where is the duality it's only consciousness appearing in many ways images or whatever yeah I have a couple of comments also from the online community this is this is the this is from Cara thank you so much bob I visited your home 20 years ago and I wish I understood them love love to all from Sunshine Coast someone 20 years ago show now and now it opens up that happens quite a quite a lot it opens up it's the seed has come out and now it opens up that happens quite a lot it opens up it's the seed has come out and now it opens up that happens quite a quite a lot it opens up yeah it is wonderful and jay says love the oneness and there is no myself yourself and even if you try and alter and not live alone it's still all part of the ever-changing present absolutely and cara says again could i ask a question about physical pain i understand it as maya also is there something to do quote unquote or simply see clearly and she meant illness and we have i'll just we come back to it in a minute i'll just read so we are on on the same page with everyone and it's five minutes to go uh valeria says uh something about the energy here we are not even in melbourne but somehow life has feelings filled uh with joy now thank you kat adamson and sailor bob non-jewelry melbourne lovely to hear that thank you valeria and ram says i love the honesty of this lady's questions i think it's you mitra everyone we all love it it's beautiful yes it's beautiful and don't pretend if there is doubt confusion let it out yes thank you ram and jay says dog chased his tail until it stopped and american julia says a ghost is a very good metaphor jane when we look closely enough a ghost is nothing more than a memory laura says wonderful and jane bob's words and this meeting has settled this avatar down beautiful thank you and now would you like bob to comment on the question from cara about the pain she understands it as maya but she's asking there's anything to do i know what you usually answer to that question what see what spontaneously comes up if you are moved if life moves you to take pain medication or consult the doctor health professional or or even a hypnotist whatever spontaneously comes up pain is a sensation yes and there's a sensation that all is not well this body called to do something about it yeah you do something about it but when you do something and you think about it that's the only way you become overwhelmed or let the day come back just take the pill let it let it go into thoughts concepts ideas become overwhelming cause lots of other things to happen too you want to take the drugs or you you won't be yeah that's how i do what happens with the back things whatever comes up and sorry cara if you're in pain but as bob says it is important to understand that pain has a vital function it is really part of the survival self-protection mechanism and it is an information that's there and personal support that you are needed and 🙏🏍🙏 this is what you wanted to hear just to understand remember there are a lot of people out there who love and support that so that something needs attending and just see what comes up and yeah is there is no doing you recognize that this is sensation happening within the dream but just if there is no doership if there is just a spontaneous arising of a thought or idea just like spontaneous heartbeat like spontaneous breathing spontaneous action thought that takes you where you need to go there is no need to separate oh now i don't get the message because i'm the doer and i'm doing no it's just the way animals attend to their own wounds they find the shade then lie in rest if there is anything else to do it probably will come up so i hope you get that resolved just like to say about the waves that you can also see the air and the the wind that blows the waves and the air is water in another form as well even the suffering even all the disturbances all the pain it's coming from that place of life love that doesn't look like it at the time yeah yeah it wants to push through and bring it up and have it transcended or go see someone to get some help with it or whatever the body's talking and yeah it's just screaming out from that place of but it's love underneath absolutely all the suffering has been useful it's god saying oh but on interesante there death and suffering you know we are at some point in our � sof but pain i don't like it i can let this pass it off you have the permet kheer baking are real just saying just like candy on the ground i kind of like it just to mix oh real is damn pain which that doesn't fan to look at but is not good i don't like the word god but you know yeah did you did you want to say something in the uh vodka dean says to the wise man pleasure and pain are one and i think sometimes there's painting or discomfort in it's not the sign of an illness i think realizing pain is in ages of all of the of during they came with sure with that pain and panic pain nothing souls in a way as i find a sure part of the of duality there can't be pleasure without pain seeing now is never slowly here like that and really와 have seen the reason why life had job It can't be joy without sorrow.

And just realizing that it's inevitable. It's the interplay of opposites. But recognizing that you are beyond that. You are the witness of that. That is appearing in you. And then all of a sudden, these questions kind of start to recede. And yes, realizing and accepting it for what it is. And then the action or non-action just happens spontaneously. Yeah. The action figure will either act or not. That is it. Pleasure and pain are one. Good and bad are one. Everything is the one. It's the description, the describing, and taking to be dualistic. It is the problem. So what are you going to do? If everything is the one, where is the duality?

There is an area. And Kara says that, Thanks, Kat and Bob. I'm not in pain, but I work with people who are. Yeah, I hope you're going to elevate pain there. I mean, you are not a doer, but life expressing through you and as you. James, I was just showing off and I fell on my face. And the nose, it was bleeding, and I was using one of these contraptions, the exercise things. And so I was in a bit of pain, right? But I was in awe of watching this whole show unfold. And I was laughing hysterically. Everyone thought I had concussion. But the pain was just magnificent.

It was magnificent and the blood was like this incredible occurrence. Everyone was looking like this guy's really lost the plot. He seriously got a concussion. But it wasn't anything. I was totally lucid and totally aware of pain and blood and the whole experience was just fantastic. I had an experience when I worked at Bob's Health Food Store in the 1980s and I cut a big hunk out of my finger. Bob was there and he said, Just watch it. It's only a sensation. There was a hunk out of my finger and there was blood pouring down. That changed every time I hurt myself from that point on.

It changed everything what he said to me at that time. Just watch it. It's only a sensation. Who's it happening to? Etc. You might have mentioned before, I was at a site service. I had a wicked headache. I just went to another room and in one moment there would just be pain. Then the next moment there would be sitting with that reaction. It was pure reaction. Then it just dissolved to nothing for a bit. Then the next moment it would just be like nothing. Then the next moment, pain again. I just sat with these like a third of a second for each one really. It just went round and round and round.

But it kept me occupied and so I wasn't miserable. For about half an hour or whatever. Finally, I've been struggling with sleeping lately. Rough shoulders, really bad pain in the shoulders and taking all these medications. It was pretty rough at the time. It moved into seeing that this is just happening on the space out of which this stuff is appearing on. It's not the story of me experiencing the pain. just the pain in the body so yeah it's the mental stuff that jumps on that creates all the hurt or makes it a lot worse than letting it it'll pass quicker the less of that sort of jumping into onto it it's a beautiful distinction between the pain and suffering because the pain is inevitable but suffering is optional we can actually get some I mean not necessarily a great joy from pain but at least you know being really curious and really open and really learning about about everything in the in the whole manifested world is is the vibration pulsation throbbing of life so that that pain experience of pain we had people with chronic pain coming here for individual meetings and in the in the group settings that were saying that the pain was the greatest curse and that pain was the greatest curse and the greatest blessing because through the experience of pain and through giving up and surrendering to chronic pain they had the most profound realizations which eventually pulled them to the place of of clear seeing and also sometimes it pulled them to the place of ending their lives because that's an option also if there is no other way and who is there to judge it and of course I hope you paint will resolve permanently and I wish everyone pain free life