One Being/One Life - randomly picked Zoom with Sailor Bob from 27 Sept 2022

That's all. All I can do is point toward and ask you to look to see what I'm pointing to. See for yourself what I'm pointing to. Because nobody can ever do it for you. I don't think they will. Because what we talk about is non-duality. One without a second. The one essence is patterning, shaping, forming, experiencing and expressing as everything. You, me, the world and all its contents. It's that one, what I call for a better term, intelligence energy. The activity of knowing. And it's there right now with you, presently. Ever before your eyes. As soon as you put thoughts on it, you miss it.

You miss it. It's a little bit. It's a little bit it's a little bit that's a little bit of a little bit of the of it's of a little bit of the about because what needs to come up comes up spontaneously and naturally. That's just if you ask yourself what's my next thought going to be? You can't tell me. The thoughts arise. You can't tell me. The thoughts arise. Everything is happening. Spontaneously. Naturally. And effortlessly. Just the same as the earth is rolling around the sun. The seasons coming and going. The tides coming in and out. Flags, floods, droughts. All stars and exploding or exploding.

Everything in this manifestation. That's appearing. all spontaneously. Naturally. In everything. No big daddy up in the sky. Gonna give you this. We'll take that away from you. We'll stop it. I'll start it. It's light. Intelligence. Energy. Like a magnet that draws everything to it. So that intelligence for that life is. its. its. shapes and forms. and everything. has everything. as Einstein tells you. It's nothing but energy. It's all energy. intelligence for that life is patterns shapes and forms and everything has everything as Einstein tells you it's nothing but energy it's all energy energy in the way it's gotten shrubs and forms implies it's diffused with intelligence to form a human pattern a tree a flower and all the other animals birds and boys there is innate intelligence patterning shaving forming everything it's very true and the happenings is energy energy is an activity so it's an activity of knowing knowing this you're knowing that everything is that pure knowing pure being so you're already that always have been and always will because that is all the root and the pattern shapes and forms and armor grouper but that is example number they say is minor talking about the body minor and all is illusory so this manifestation is illusory but the very life in you is what you are not the body not the mind which you innately know already because you say my body my mind my house my car you know you're not the house or the car maybe you're not the body or the mind and that's what they tell you also that the false cannot stand up to investigation have you investigated these things have you looked into if you have investigated them thoroughly you'll see what is not real will fall apart under the investigation and that's happened to so many things in your life already but that which is the actuality the actuality of the human is birthless timeless spaceless bodiless mindless it's beyond any when's where or how pure isness what is so you are this person that investigated me my body my mind when you say my house my car my coat you know you're not the house the car or the coat so maybe you're not the body either who's the me or the my is claiming this body it's a conceptual image we're planning we are believed in person me I am this person I am this human being well look at that one for a starter being you call yourself a human being and if you believe in God you'll call God the supreme being so you've divided the beings into human and supreme take away that word human take away the word supreme so the two words are gone but can you divide the beings can you say I am not you can't you can say it loudly as you like but you realize there's something there that's enabling it to be said if you had the body to express through or the voice or the so-called thinking process which you call the mind how could you express or say anything you couldn't when you investigate it you are not the one it's the same with the mind it's the same with the mind show over your mind what is mind after all when you break it down it's nothing with thought feeling emotion what we call mind well if your mind believe you are the one which particular thought would you be you realize the primary thought is I well I am and if you were a thought you'd be frightened to let it go because it would be the ending but you're glad to give it up every night when you go to sleep you couldn't get a letter man you want to give it up you want to get rest and down but through that sleep you might dream and you'll be in all sorts of places doing all sorts of activities when you wake up in the morning the dream disappears and when you look into it all those activities that seem to be taking place you realize your body hadn't moved off the bed no words had come out of your mouth the dream had gone on and now you've woken up all the mountains the hills all the shopping walls all the rural areas all those things disappear but what you don't realize that you wake up to this dream the waking dream or the living dream that's all it is everything disappears in the dream at night but when you wake up in the morning it all appears again you wake up to this because this waking dream this waking dream carries on every morning where it left off the night before and we don't recognize it as a dream we think it's real it's real all right in its essence but not as it appears and you and I and everything else in this manifestation are occurrences seemingly so seemingly so that's why they call it a phenomenal manifestation and the definition of phenomena is that which appears to me so the manifestation is only appearance seemingly so and look at the amazing and wondrous ways it can appear implying it's the fusion of that innate intelligence with that life essence that's why Christ told you I am in a way I am the truth I am the life people thought he was talking about himself the person he wasn't he was talking about that sense of presence that knowing and being what you are that translates through the mind as the thought I am that's all that I am is is the sense of presence an awareness of presence awareness of being you can say the same thing anyone who is not existing right now or existence consciousness bliss as they put it in invaded terms nama rupa existence consciousness bliss nama rupa existence anyone who is not existing right now no you know you are existing anyone who is not unconscious right now you can't say you are unconscious or you're not unaware so you're conscious and aware anyone who's not happy to be well you don't want to be dead right now do you so you're happy to be so you are that satyatana already what are you searching for when you're already that when that is all a root and innately you know that too because that's the great mantra I am that and you know that because that's the chair you're sitting that's the room the chairs in that's the tree outside of the flower the bird the animal whatever's there the cars everything is that already and that everything is that and that is everything which we put words all night we discriminate with the word how many words were you born with how many words were you born with you realized you weren't born with any words and you didn't learn words until you were about two two and a half when the capacity of reasoning started in you that capacity of reasoning started about when you started to learn words about two two and a half to read you started to read as you were growing up but you weren't born with any words that's why you can't remember your birth how can you say you were born when you had no words at the time to say anything about it at all people talk about they're recognizing their being born but how could they know if they didn't have any words so we've learned words from our parents the parents fussing around you and little johnny or little jane or whatever your name might be and the first word you know includes that sense of presence translates and knowing the child is the thought i am somebody asks you who you are you'll say i'm pat or jane or bob or whatever you want and so we've missed out and given them an answer to start on what you are is the absolute because that is all the root absolute well the great perfection what they call in buddhism the great perfection what can you add to the absolute not one simple single thing because it wouldn't be absolute if any more can be added to it what can you take away from it not a single thing it wouldn't be absolute so you are the absolute and if you recognize that that you are the absolute you can't go around saying you're the absolute they'll put you in the funny part but they don't understand the notion of the poem so you put on i am this person this body of identity where does that word person come from look it up it comes from the ancient latin persona the mask we've got a mask or a conceptual image which we're hiding our reality and living from that believed in mask of concepts and so we get lost in it and suffer accordingly so you weren't born with any words and you picked up words about two two and a half but have a look at those words so every word you've ever spoken or ever likely to speak has been learned and investigate the word and see the word not the thing take the word water try and drink the word you can't try and swim in the word see if you'll drown in the word wash in the word take the word fire try and burn yourself with the word try and cook with it try and hit yourself warm yourself with the word you can't say the word is not the real it's not the thing and we put the energy of belief and do it think it is for you so we've got all these words try and grasp it with the concept and what do the buddhs say they call it the great perfection now the perfection is just the same as the absolute you can't let anything tell it take it that way but they give it to you in one sentence the great perfection is non-conceptual awareness talking about that awareness without any concepts now what is awareness you can't tell me what it is you can't give me a description about what awareness is all you can do is know that you are not unaware at this moment and if you're not unaware you must be aware because that's how it functions is in the opposite so you are awareness right now and everything all the contents of this manifesto all that happens in that awareness and we put the labels and concepts on it and lose sight of the reality of it so when we're searching to become something you wonder why it doesn't happen you've probably been searching for a while right now and you've never achieved anything why because you can't grasp it with a concept this architect tells you that clearly he says we try to grasp it with a concept and we fail he says you're bound to fail because it's non-conceptual awareness it's awareness without any concepts you ask yourself what is wrong right now if I don't think about it and pause and have a look at that and you realize you can't say it's right or wrong good or bad or out of thought but without that thought then you can't pause the thought for a moment you've got to drop naturally into it or don't attach to anything that's appearing in the thought it's the attachment the fixation on it it divides it up and they're not attaching to it or fix it leave it as it is it moves on now you can't grasp it with any thought so it's thought free ever fresh or spontaneous this manifestation is transient it's constantly changing and have a look at that you mightn't realize that but that's not the same body you picked up the skype with a few minutes ago it's changing going on right now right now in this moment there are thousands of cells dying and being replaced you don't realize that and every cell that replaces the dead cell is infused without intelligence and is he knowing what to do skin cells not going to replace the heart cell heart cells not going to replace the liver cell or brain cells not going to replace any other cells in the body each cell suffused without innate intelligence knows what to do and you are that intelligence you are that life essence and the saga tells you there is only life that's all the real life nothing else only life and he says life lives on life and that's true the food you eat was life once the vegetables the animals whatever everything it was all life once and that out of life more life comes and that's a fact where did you start where did you come from you came from your life your parents from your mother formed in the womb of your mother no matter the life more life comes your parents came from the life of their parents and so on and so on the life comes more and you are that life not the body or the mind the pattern shape and form in which it expresses through you are the life the animating intelligence energy that's in that body the life itself take the life out of that body you've got a corpse and of the corpse has still got eyes before it breaks down it's got eyes ears brain heart liver lungs kidneys all the organs are there but what can they do without that animating force that life essence nothing at all so you must realise that you are the life as Christ told you I am the way I am the truth I am alive and out of that life more life comes so we use that like the analogy recognise to try that life and that it's such a good analogy to some expressions like your computer the computer has been formed by that life that's in these particular bodies form the computer with all amazing information in it and you can punch those keys as much as you like and run the mouse over as much as you like if you haven't got the power turned on what are you going to get out of it not a thing it's not a bit of good it's a core so it's a dead machine so the same with this body what are you going to get out of this body get the life nothing you can't say a word can't have any activity or digest any food or honey again putting out that you are the life how did you come about go back as far as your father and your mother that animating life has a pattern you call your father in that pattern through the breathing the prana and the food he was eating energy that's forming the life that's forming in that pattern a microscopic particle called a sperm to form you can't see it with your naked eye and that sperm which diffused with life energy it knew what to do and the same with that pattern you call your mother that animating life is in that pattern you call your mother a navel in that pattern another microscope never liked called an egg to form that egg was diffused with intelligence it knew what to do it attached itself to the wall of the uterus the sperm knowing what to do swam to the air and penetrant the air both knowing what to do with no two patterns of energy intelligence come together and that's from the genes and the food essence it's in that body of the mother double that cell doubled it again all the little embryo and the little fetus which is what you are today what were you doing about it then did you say well I've got to grow this and go a bit tall what you didn't say anything about at all because you had no words you couldn't say but the life that you are knew what to do just the same as it's knowing what to do today it kept your breathing it kept your heart being kept growing kept digesting your food replacing the cells of your mother knowing what to do they're still doing it to this day but we lost sight of it when we learned words as I say you can't come as the reading started you started to learn words and your parents gave you a name and you had sensed the presence when you learned words yourself and you learned words on I am and put the label I have bill Jane whatever the name might be and someone asks you today you say I'm Bill so and so not saying what you actually really are you are the absolute but relating to this conceptual image this person and because we're relating to that we're not getting full earnest honest take of what we actually are if you are the reality and it's that sense of presence I am people think they've got it when I hear the word I am they've got to stay with the I am and I think if I repeat it and use a mantra it'll get me something not realizing what is the I am when you investigate it it's just a word or thought expressing that sense of presence that's innately with you that sense of knowing that you are the awareness of being put it into words you've got to say I am so we've broken ourselves down into I am so and so from the absolute and that I am with the capacity of reasoning tells you your learned words and your period is changing your little belly or little Johnny and you look out there and you say that doesn't fit little Johnny that's not me that's not I am so immediately with that seeing something you don't understand and don't know what insecurity vulnerability and fear because you're not sure what it is and then all our problems start with that insecurity and vulnerability you've lost sight of our totality you're absolutely been obscured and we go on adding to it we learn more words and go to school and learn more words again and so we start putting concepts and I'm not good enough I'm fearful and I'm unhappy I'm depressed and we've got this now they've got this conceptual image our conceptual image made of concepts ideas and thoughts it's insecure it's vulnerable it's fearful it's anxious so it's when all our psychological problems start from that sense of separation we've separated ourselves from the absolute but I tell you again it's inseparable it cannot be separated it's indivisible it can't be divided we're dividing and separating but it can't be divided conceptually so whether you when you recognize that though you believe you're dividing and separated it can't be divided it can't be separated what are you going to cling to aren't you going to stabilize and settle into that innate intelligence and knowing that you are and recognizing I am that life business I am that intelligence energy I am not this person that is fearful anxious and unhappy see how that works in your body something comes up and you like it and we don't want the things that we like to disappear we want to keep them there not realizing that everything is a vibration everything is transient it's constantly changing no matter how much you love them they're going to change or going to disappear or change but certainly going to change and you yourself are changing look back now on that body a few years ago you can notice the change in it but you mightn't notice it in this moment but it's changing right now it's transient also so you don't want the good things to do and what do we do we resist it from going we try to keep it here not allowing the change to happen and any resistance you are in you're in conflict so now there's resistance and conflict and that root conflict makes you uneasy fearful anxious depressed guilty all these concepts are going up and that resistance that's uneasiness another word for uneasiness is disease you're not at ease anymore so it's disease so while in this sinking resistance conflict and disease now that way if something comes up that you don't like oh this is a bad one I shouldn't be thinking that about myself or about these others got to get rid of this got to get rid of it I want to keep that that's sinful that's it so what do I do again the same thing I resisted trying to get rid of this time instead of trying to keep it down and again it'll come up as unhappiness fear anxiety stress guilt all the psychological challenge all the problems will come up in that resistance again the disease the uneasiness now that's what our life consists constant unhappiness constant fear anxiety never being still for a moment though there are moments when you're thought free and things fall into place and there's a joyousness we've had taste of it all through your life but it's never lasting why because we pick up the thought again we go back into the thoughts we start the story again because it's telling a story this this will happen blah blah blah blah blah blah and the story goes on and on and on something goes on and so and so but such good but what about this what about that if you smoked years ago you might be still smoking today what did you do with the but you tossed the out what do you do!

a but comes up! in your mind you don't toss it out you carry on and start another story with it but when you learn to throw the butts out of 13 times leave it as it is you'll notice a big difference and see a change come out things things keep keep reminding yourself do that that statement says in the Bible be transformed by the renewing of your mind how would you renew your mind just keep reminding yourself I am the absolute I'm not this person I am the great perfection I am the one without a second I'm not this person in that reminding it'll settle down and stabilize in that stabilization it'll be hard to be dragged back into the conceptualizing thinking process anymore and the livingness will be in this presence away really living not living conceptually or not living from the mind the natural spontaneous ever fresh living being knowing and having loving to me test it out and see if yourself never is going to do it for you see if it works that's the acid test of anything test it out does it work if it doesn't work keep looking if you get taste of it working follow it through and see that it will take you where you need to go you don't have to think you want it didn't imagine that you can't think you way because the news of the line to try and get into your own and they tell you you will never get peace of!

mind never! that passes all understanding and that's why they call it that because it can't be understood or grasp with a concept but the mind when they're saying it's the peace that passes all understanding they say don't try and grasp it with the mind because the nature of the mind is to divide it will keep dividing when you look at this thing called mind you'll see there's no such thing there apart from thought what's thought sound noise word vibration energy it's just a vibrating pattern of energy vibrates into words thoughts ideas energy the sargan tells you that nothing can trouble you except your own imagination break that word down to imagine or image in break it down further to image in and realize that's what we're doing we're creating mental or conceptual images and a thought this thought is an image in your mind taking mental conceptual images and taking the images or the words to be real and that's why we suffer because we these images become imagination and then what story again we're back in the story and that's what our trouble is what's wrong with right now if I don't think about it and you realize without the thoughts you can't say a thing but you can't pause the thought either thoughts arise in themselves let them arise don't attach to them don't necessarily take them on board or fix that of it see it there and leave it as it is unaltered unmodified uncorrected no preference no partiality no comparison and it'll move on but while we're trying to grasp it we're dividing it this is bad I don't want it well this is good and I want more of it and that's the way the mind functions as Shakespeare told you 400 years ago there's nothing either good or bad but thinking amongst itself so we've got this capacity of thinking but what's your next thought going to be you're saying I can't tell you and you can't the thought will come up of itself and then you'll grasp it but say I think this thought so you say I think you formed a subject a thinker instead of now being the absolute you are the thinker me Bill or Bob whatever your name I be I'm thinking this thought and the thought is another word or a concept so there's the thinker and the thought isn't that duality subject object two that's duality we're talking about non-duality we'll investigate that can there be a thinker without thinking you're not going to realize there can't be a thinker without thinking can there be the thought without thinking you can't be a third without thinking so subject object to concepts but the thinking is the actuality thinking is the spontaneous activity that's going on not I think but thinking just the same as seeing I see it formed the subject but with the seeing and your eye doesn't tell you I see and the thought comes up I see but the thought I see can't see but seeing is happening as I say seeing no thing yet it is seen all is manifestation is no thing you're seeing it don't realize it you're seeing no thing putting subject object up at the vision hearing tasting touching telling experiencing the ing is the actuality that's going on all the time breathing heart beating hair and fingernails growing the ing is the actuality I see I think I taste I touch I breathe I beat my heart you're relating to this conceptual image a dead image and it's not the fact and that allows the suffering to be there now all these fears anxiety stresses guilt come up through the activity of thinking all concepts all ideas all images all created by the believed in me me is the cause of your sadness your unhappiness your guilt your shame me is the cause and the effects are that cause are the unhappiness the distress to go that's all the so-called karma is cause and effect I ask myself the question can there be an effect if I'm not relating to a cause if there's no cause what can be affected or who or why can be affected without the cause if me is the cause and I've investigated the me and see that the me is a fiction well if I recognise that the me is a fiction and I can't relate to anything it's all just as it is what's going to happen to the so-called karma that one believed in who can be affected by only the believed in me which is the cause of all my fears things so it can be free for all the psychological floods of suffering and that's where the peace is in that freedom that's where the joyousness is that's where all the love the compassion the heartfelt happiness the pure being knowing the loving to be when you're not relating to the cause that's there naturally spontaneously inevitably relate to the cause and you're back in the trap and when you look at it all you see the cause me is a concept it has no substance or any independent nature and we've been relating to it all this time because we never investigated we never looked into it we've gone along with it our parents our schools our society told us it reinforced it and then we learned a few words and we started reinforcing it ourselves and been reinforcing it ever since trying to find the answer in the mind and they tell you clearly the answer is not in the mind you'll never get peace of mind and they call it the peace that pass us all understanding what does that point out where do you understand all these things the understanding is in the mind so they tell you the peace is not there it's beyond all understanding it's prior to any understanding so it's prior to the mind and the me and that's where the peace is and that's where you'll find it just a little bit of investigation a little bit of looking and see for yourself to know the truth that's the scripture saying knowing the truth will set you free what are you free from the belief that you are this person have a look at that word belief the question dictionary question dictionary definition of belief the dictionary definition of belief is an unquestioned acceptance of something in the absence of reason acceptance of an alleged fact without positive knowledge or proof put your belief to that test see if I'll stand up you'll find they won't go hard and with the we're going to that left what are you left with you left with the direct knowing the pure being knowing and loving to be the one without a second the admin self the one self not the person self there's only one self they call it the atmosphere one life one energy one intelligence call it god if you like but don't put that label because in all the different scriptures and texts and all of different labels for God each one of them and yet there's only one admin one self one god you can like to use that term I use the term intelligence energy talking about intelligence energy I'm not talking about your intellects because your intellects come up and go I'm talking about the same intelligence that's rolling the earth around the sun causing the seasons to come and go the tides to come into the planets the stars to form implode explode the mountains and hell the lies and all the day and night the same that same intelligence is what's beating your heart it's breathing you it's going fair in the fingernails it's digesting your food it's replacing cells in your body it's only the one essence it's doing everything one essence one life one being and you are that and you know it I am that because you say that's the chair that's the carpet that's the tree you know everything is that which we discriminate by putting a word on and I am that you know you are that that is what I am only that because that is all the reason!

Settle into that and know that and recognize it! and that will let you know more about itself when you are acknowledging it says again in the scriptures that knowledge him in all ways and he will direct that path we think we talking about is big daddy in the sky we got to pray to never give a good it it's not that it's that night life essence that intelligence energy relate to that life that you are and then it says they shall hear a voice behind you saying this is the way walking it whether you turn to the left or turn the wrist know right but they call the still small voice and we think we gotta hear a voice well it will sound like a voice but it is your intuition the inner teacher that brings the thought of the realization or the recognition up you intuit something listen to it it guides you where you gotta go it's been there all the time but it's been ignored like our true nature has been ignored they call it ignorance in the scripture we hear that word we think we dull or stuberty but it doesn't mean that at all what it means is we just turned our backs on things we ignore them not noticing it so we ignore and focus into the conceptions we think we can find the answer in the mind instead of realizing that the innate intelligence will ring to you just as it's rolling the around the sun causing the stars and light to twinkle in the moon to shine and all the rest of it doing everything so it will guide you as Einstein tells you you know he said I worked on this problem for days couldn't find the answer one night I went to sleep and woke up next morning there it was life had brought it to him brought so many other things that he expressed it will as to you know a lot of it some of these statements tonight so there it is and there you are you can come in and say a few words and then some of you are recognizing it and know it don't hesitate to let it out you might express it a different way to what I do but somebody might resonate it and hear it differently and others you are a bit new to it might have questions don't be frightened to ask them a lot of us are fearful asking what will they think of me who are they that are going to think of me and the reason they is that one essence!

just the same as you who the hell would matter care what they say think or do it becomes laugh and settle into it so away you go as he said you are already done and express it tell us about it because it will reinforce it in yourself and it may help others as I said a few times here some of Bob's pointers I could only hear when they were repeated with someone with less stabilization in that clarity because I was unstable so I couldn't resonate it was just the frequency was much closer from someone who was just getting it just slowly penetrating through or someone completely unclear but it was just lucky to say it the right way that's that's how the resonance works it may actually be much more helpful if the same pointer is repeated by you whether your clarity is as good as his or is probably maybe a little younger he's got this advanced age behind him which we don't just yet so if there was anything that you heard that really resonated repeat even in the same words best best in your own words and see how it sounds see how it feels see how it vibrates how it resonates so if anyone feels moved to say something just unmute yourself and we will see who's unmuted if more than one we'll just call the name oh I see Julie hi hi hi I had a moment when you said Bob one essence doing everything and it was the idea that the essence builds universes has the earth going around the sun breathes us creates has the intelligence in the cells and then I was like yeah and yet I still think thought that I was doing the thinking and the doing you know it was like all this other intelligence was happening by you know this intelligence or god and yet I still thought that I was doing these other things too so that was kind of like a really nice clarification today to think actually it's all being done to me not just those other things so it was actually a really nice way of clicking in today and what a beautiful point to highlight thank you for that it really is I mean how profound it is one essence expressing experiencing as everything doing everything beautiful yeah doing you it's thinking you it's beating your heart it's growing your hair it's it literally brings up the thoughts so yeah nobody's a doer of anything a thinker of any thought and then in a way of resonance of course you know if someone is a musician they will get more thoughts about music because that's what the instrument is tuned to but as Bob was saying everything is true in its essence but not in the way it appears in the way it appears it is a manifestation of my illusion but in its essence that's the reality that essence is is the reality that potentiality that aliveness or that energy is the reality so there's no reality in thought but the substratum or substance which manifests as thought is that one essence is that one life even if there is a negative thought that negative thought is also that one essence is oh god in a costume of a negative thought if someone likes that word we don't particularly like that word god if someone does well it's as long as it feels right to you omnipresence is probably a better one or omniscience omnipotence but yeah that's a beautiful highlight someone even transcribed some of Bob's talks and put them under the in the book under the title one essence expressing us everything the book is not available right now but all the talks are available so you put on youtube channel and you have the content of the book it was a beautiful little book I helped him edit and put it on amazon but he didn't publish it for some reason I don't know why maybe he will maybe he will but it is it is the same guy who actually did what's wrong with right now if you don't think about it he's got a real gift he's an artist Gilbert Schultz he's an artist in many many different ways and he's got incredible skill to pick out brilliant titles so what's wrong with right now what a fantastic title for a book one essence expressing everything beautiful title too because it summarized the content of the book it gives it to you in one sentence and really sitting with that pointer and checking out the extent to which that pointer really really captures the essence it really is the essence and see how it is true and see how just like Julie just like you've noticed yeah there is no you thinking it is one essence that doing everything rolling the earth around the sun it is that one essence doing and expanding your lungs and contracting that one essence there is no place for me me is completely redundant me is just a just a dream and really seeing moment to moment and day by day how much simpler and more honest the pure leaving is without translating and relating everything through that filter that fake filter of the me what job does the me has none it's redundant it really doesn't have to even be conceptualized but come on open up oh Tonya hi hi guys how are you are you happy it's so lovely to see I haven't been on for a while but I've been busy and it's funny that you talking about books because I've actually been reading this while I couldn't make it Bob I don't know if you can see it or not only that yes that's actually yeah so it's an older book so while I didn't make it onto the call I've still been checking in and like I suppose not everything that says is so beautiful and resonates and for me now on the call there's just an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude just to even hear the words and they're all so profound I suppose everything is true in its essence but not as it appears I know you were quoting Bob there is that right yeah yeah because I love that and I suppose even coming away from reading Bob's book and you know just my own life experiences in in last couple of weeks you know there has been situations and circumstances that to the mind you would they're not too happy is what you say well I mean look it's all happiness but look they're not ideal is the only way to say it but I can't switch that underlying sense of well being this and I suppose for me like what Bob said there about the intuition is your inner teacher and the intuition is telling me that it's all okay regardless and you know everything is just how it is so that inherent trust is there I suppose because in all the times down through the years when I thought like you know life was very much chaotic and not how I would have expected it to be it always unfolded in a way that was you know so profoundly beautiful in a way that I could never have imagined with my mind so I suppose again coming back to everything is true in its essence but not as it appears so for me at the moment there's an appearance of chaos and not these warm fuzzy feelings but the underlying current underneath it is knowing that there's truth there regardless and whether I can make sense of it or not is not important because it's all it it's all it and even coming from your book which I really enjoyed and learning about your life and how it unfolded for you there's just an amazing sense of utter devastation and sense of knowing that I don't know that that piece is there regardless no matter what is going on I don't know and that it's all it it's all it it's just it's all it like you said earlier there Bob it's impossible to divide to grasp to cling to it it's just all in the mind and if that contraction is there feel it in your body that's being sensed in the mind and you know yeah there is a physical ping to to that but it's all it regardless so yeah look I mean that's just probably a personal me you know trying to relax into what's coming up for me now and it probably is confusing to hear I don't know whether it is or not but yeah that's that's kind of where I am this morning just in over an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love for everything that is new yeah so yeah that's beautiful yeah and it's a gorgeous summary because yes everything is that it really is yeah and recognizing it even if even if there is discomfort physical discomfort or emotional discomfort even if you know you hear something that you'd rather not hear or do something that it is still the way it expresses one essence it's and then you look at nature and you see you know the thunderstorm or hail and you see the birds hiding on the tree well you know they don't have narrative that it shouldn't be happening and they're always there always there to be seen and I suppose even in the periods of like physical overwhelmingness like you know like other frustration and anger and sadness all of these things appearing and it's like you know they're very much coming up in the moment but the importance of them is just not there anymore like they're they're they're very real they're very much happening but it's like I don't know it's so strange even like I can see me wanting to wallow wanting to suffer to stay there even though I know that's not real so it's like seeing through it but still there's I can still sense something pulling and the only way to explain it is that sometimes there's a comfort in suffering I don't know if that makes sense or not but it's like it's perceived comfort because it's not there because once you go through it once you allow yourself to actually be open to whatever is there happening in the moment within the body you actually go you get to the other side of it and that's where the freedom is you know but it's like I can there's something in me that that there but the knowing that if I if I just be present with what is that you get to the other side and I don't know like it just makes me more the only thing that I can explain is that there is a purpose in that too because when I look to other people that are choosing to suffer or choosing to cause this discomfort for whatever reason it's like there's a in them and them in me in those moments of wanting to stay there because it's like a perceived comfort I don't know in that moment of wanting just to give up and wanting to wallow in it it's like I don't know if that makes sense yeah that makes total sense that is being on the same page with life if life created that moment of discomfort or suffering or sadness that is what one could say life wants and you are that life so you want that with life you don't resist it you don't run away from it you don't want to stop it you don't want to push it down this is what life is presenting to itself dancing on that stage for itself because yeah that yeah that is just an invitation to really welcome whatever comes up bring it on I mean yeah be it a physical don't run away yeah yeah I love how you're saying that Kath because I suppose over the last couple of weeks there has been moments of like you know I know that I could do better but on some level I still just stayed you know I stayed with it and it's like I don't know there's just a kindness there towards myself no matter what comes up because like that like you're just saying that it's life that's life yeah yeah that's life you know and it's yeah I don't know like that yeah and do better according to who I mean who says that suppressing feeling is better than experiencing it yeah yeah yeah oh you I could be functional but I'll stay in bed and soak because it's better to be functional than and life very much happens the thing is right when things happen I very much can and what I've done my whole life was clicking to autopilot and just like get shit done like you know like just be on the ball and get it done get it done get it done and I suppose like in the roles that are being played so me professionally me as a mother like you know there was a choosing where my priorities were so there was still an awareness of life and the roles that are being played and it was like you know my priority was as a mother okay I'm going to take this time now to step away professionally from work like just in the moment not not a big ordeal but you know when the overwhelming was there the choices that were made were to suit you know the things closer to me so I didn't choose to kick into autopilot when it comes to work or anything like that the choice was to click into being what is and then going to autopilot when it come to being a mother and stuff like that and there was still love in that too because there was a space to breathe I gave myself the space to breathe but then again very much aware beautiful you can see the perfection in the way life operates see how brilliant it is when certain behavior is required when the autopilot is required when high functioning is required you don't have to worry you don't have to choose whatever is required in the moment kick in and that is brilliant because now you can really witness that intelligence of the body intelligence of life whatever it wants to do because yes it does seemingly choose to do one behavior or the other it seemingly chooses to either soak or contemplate or analyze or whatever the action happens I found that not only there is no preference whichever response comes up but there is natural curiosity as if I don't know that machine I don't know what it is going to do I don't know whether it is going to show someone a finger or cry with them I don't know because every situation is made of infinite amount of different factors contributing together with the past conditioning all of it so being completely open and trusting that life will seemingly choose the best possible outcome because it is programmed for its own survival and its own comfort and if it is conditioned in a way that also has compassion and has children loves them or has husband loves or whatever that will be incorporated in the way it unfolds and trusting in that life and relaxing into that life and discovering that way it will exhibit and show off that brilliance that great intelligence makes life really it makes life makes the eye redundant and makes the eye amazed in discovering watching just relaxing and watching whatever the next unfoldment is going to be and I think even what has been felt is for me is a lot closer to the truth because you're not being distracted by playing a story of what has gone on because I think the story can invoke other feelings on top of it so you're literally with the truth of what is so the intensity I feel like the intensity is intensified if possible but in that it's like it's it's like the intensity is literally burning away everything that I don't know like it's just I don't know how to explain it but it's like what is being felt is much much it's not the truth obviously it's not the truth but what's being felt is much much closer to the truth and even in that that is itself craving itself because the truth is what we are it's the only thing anything thought of any word any contemplation is away from that do you know what I mean so I don't know like there's just I don't know even listening to speak like you know there's so much emotion even coming up now but it's like it's the gratitude it's like the love of a mother looking at her children you know it's I don't know like it's just love it's just love and appreciation no matter what whether it's good or bad because as Bob said earlier on the call like it's only the mind that makes it so yeah yeah beautiful and a great point in that you know like really dissolving the defenses of the self there is that quality of absolute fearlessness the quality of bring it on let it burn me let it kill me it doesn't matter so that yes the intensity perceived intensity in that you know because you don't put that shield around so the perceived intensity may be overwhelming a lot of times maybe maybe somehow you know some moments will be like bob is equating life to the river almost still almost still nothing there is no one who is evaluating anything there is nothing wrong there is nothing and then suddenly that river moves faster and it goes through the waterfall through rapids and and it gets overwhelming and it does but there is no one who says I don't want it here let's run away let's resist it let's fix it no in the absence of that intensity and that overwhelmed is welcome one could say welcome because there's no one to welcome it either but yes you're on the same page of life you are the life you are the space for anything that shows up to be there and as as you as you see as you know it's not going to last even if it's super overwhelming it is going to change and if you are space for it to change that water that water river of life is already seeking its level it's still running the resolution and how amazing is that you know the love can be so overwhelming that it can bring you to tears or gratitude can bring you to shivers and tears and so it can any other emotion so it can any other emotion which is not on now but it's still as raw as ever it still beats the heart faster it still brings the breathing to more shallow or deeper or whatever it's still like the weather outside same with the weather inside it has its cycles but it's nothing wrong now it's all welcome it's all what is leave it as it is yes because that's what that's what life does that's what emptiness does nothing nothing leave it as it is means do nothing hi Ernie hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi yeah Hw compassionate because you're kind of giving up like you're trusting yourself to the great intelligence of the universe and you like just that's what cats is relaxing and somehow you feel it's more like that's the art of living and just you know trusting yourself into this big intelligence and this universe in that somehow people said it's only in this art of living it's very it's only paradoxical in in the surface because the more you let go of what you love the more present your love becomes that's yeah yeah and it's the same thing as what the uh some some good athlete really can you know they say that they can just um um you know work with the proper movement in their body without the conscious effort of the conscious will it just happens on its own so this is like more like you know trying to i guess trusting to trusting yourself to the you know to the this intelligence um it's like yeah it's like it's more like a non-action like the poem writes the poem or things like you can't tell the dancer from the dance it's like you know the it's because the door is like the door is wholeheartedly vanished from the deed you can't tell the dancer from the dance it's like the fuel is totally um uh turned into a flame like there's no more door just let it let it out let it all go and i think it's i think it's what kat said yeah sometimes uh yeah it's really good because um sometimes also have my yeah man it's just like sometimes intimidated things like that um yeah thank you yeah that's beautiful yeah thank you it's the the ing as bob very often highlights the dance ink the doing the poetry or writing that's the that's the spin of life the process like the you know wind is blowing wind is not blowing it's just blowing or rain is raining but the rain is not doing and raining it's just raining and it's just breathing it's just everything is just just that flow of movement that's the that's the love for life love for for being because if there is no movement obviously there is no electricity doesn't flow there is no energy there is no particles there is no sounds nothing so everything is the ing the move in that's the and and and that's as as good expression as as any you know like really how did you say it surrender yourself to the flow of life or submit or you know really kind of dissolve into it and in that the doing the being the knowing it's not gonna cease it's that's the but but you don't have to tell the dancer of it anymore you don't have to take credit for happening and not doing yes in the non-doing of a doer the doing is naturally unfolding but there is doing of life is the flow of the river flowing of the of that of that constant change transience movement moving julie i see you on mute yeah i just um really wanted to say thank you to tonya for for bringing what she brought into the room today because um i was really keen to get to the meeting today because um i had been unwell yesterday and i woke up with infection and something happens when i'm unwell like i just end up crying all the time and sort of wallowing in these kind of and it's kind of like i know i'm unwell because a particular type of tears comes um and there's almost a discomfort it actually comes from a fear of i realize just listening to you all it come this fear of dying arises in in that feeling unwellness but um but there is a resistance so i got caught in the resistance yesterday of wanting it to be over and done with and very keen to get to the meeting today because i always know i feel much better after these meetings but i'm just sitting here and listening to tonya and just realizing that actually even that you know waking up in the morning and it's already present i didn't make a decision to feel that way i didn't make a decision to be unwell i didn't make a decision to have tears um and it just arose so there's a doing happening but also there's a realization um and kat you mentioned something like this a couple of weeks ago that you know the even the fear of death is coming from this this love of living yes it's like the basis of it it's like i actually enjoy life so much i don't want it to be over and um yeah so that's quite that's quite lovely and it was really really nice to kind of loosen things off with listening to tonya as well and realizing that it was just a happening happening you know there was no doing on my part there's nothing wrong so um that was really helpful thank you um thank you and funny you should say that because when tonya was sharing of that different you know waves of really overwhelming strong intensified emotions i actually had the temptation for a moment to bring up the idea of death because that's the ultimate uh at least when we conceptualize death you know this is something so final and so ultimate and so scary and so big for for human pattern to actually even conceive of the idea of one's own non-existence which is beyond the mind i mean it can't be imagined you know non-existence can't even be conceptualized really because you know who would even conceptualize it is and at the same time it holds uh socially culturally it holds such a heavy weight that you know every every feeling every emotion could be very easily just for the sake of investigation exaggerate to the point of dying and that's why in some of the buddhist schools they actually love and often contemplate the idea of death not only going to the graveyard uh going to the graveyard and seeing dead bodies or corpses but their their own passing most of all because as bob often says you don't know your first breath do you think you're gonna know the last one but i see tonya is on you jump in tonya just on the death aspect of it because like you know i i i i very much get that um i i think utter utter frustration right and in in specific circumstances throughout life what i've come to realize and this is very much mind-led but you know there's a resonance there and you know there's a certain knowing there as well it's not death as we perceive it it's dead to the person that our minds perceive us to be so in that moment we're finding it very hard to function so me like you know professionally or me as a mother or me as a daughter or a sister or you know all of these things it's like in that moment there is an inherent trust that what's aware of all of these things is okay but it's death to these roles that i've perceived myself to be throughout life and you know and it's it's like of course there's a fear for it but get to the other side of it and realize that they never really existed anyway you know these were all just perceived by the mind and they're all just beliefs okay so we believe ourselves to be this but when we realize that we are not that there is a beautiful freedom in being able to step in and out of those roles and play them wholeheartedly knowing that we do not like i do not depend on these the love that i am does not depend on these roles but there's a beautiful play in being able to step in and out of them so like there's death there there's a felt perception or like whatever way you want to say i i get that fear but know that it's not how we would perceive it as normal do you know like i i don't know is that more confusing than anything but it's a death to the roles that we would play you know the the role that we feel that like i have to get up early and i need to do this i need to get kids to school i need to work and blah blah like you know all these kind of things it's in those moments of sickness or in these moments of overwhelming it's it's very hard to get up and do these things but knowing that there is a sense of well-beingness underneath us that is aware of all of these things happen that has always been there that has never changed as bob said it's like your intuition knowing but you're fighting against that intuition of knowing that there's well-beingness there regardless of what my mind is telling me is happening now in this moment and i think as human beings you know like we're we're very much pushed to i i don't think we're we're i don't think the trust element or the trust aspect well for me anyway um with my parents and with their parents it was always like you need to do this to be happy and you need to get this goal and you need to you need to strive and try try try try but in constant trying there's no being there was never uh focus or there was never there was never the realization of being missed there so i think that trust element you know came at those moments of frustration in the unfolding of them when i realized oh wow like that's the worst thing that i could have perceived at a point in time so the mind is unable to the the mind can't tell you what is going to make you happy in the future because it doesn't exist do you know what i mean so there's it it was a constant unfoldment and a constant a constant well and just gratitude for everything the way that it unfolded so that inherent trust was like it was like a muscle for all the world you know every time when i thought my idea of what life should be literally just dropped away and i was okay and it all worked out anyway so that inherent trust i feel like it for me anyway it was like a muscle and now it's it's impossible to shake that like just perfect beingness in every single moment regardless of what is being perceived as being perceived beautiful yes certainly the fear of death is optional it is not if you look at the natural world there is action in the face of danger but there is no such thing as fear of what is going to happen like imaginary we have to imagine a situation projected into a non-existent future and then terrorize ourselves and create that hormones that cortisol running through the body animals have action in the face of danger but they do not think oh what will happen if i'll be old or something at least as far as we understand the neuroscience they don't project that behavior so we humans a little bit of a contemplation of what is to die you know when you break a computer the power the electricity doesn't die and you're not the computer you're not the body you're not the mind the life doesn't die what does die and tonya beautifully said that you know the idea of me idea of me dies every night when you go to sleep idea of me dies every time you stop thinking for a moment when you stop thinking who am i who am i oh i am this and i am that now silence there is no i in that moment is dead is non-existent is unborn and even to add to that but i think um i don't know what the idea shanti refers to any moment of peace or bliss or happiness it's when we actually forget ourselves in that moment so it's not even just with fear like the very very extreme it's also with happiness it's also with love in extreme moments of bliss so it's like two ends of the one stick forgetting ourselves just forgetting ourselves and there was utter devastation for me when i realized the world went on without me but abuse relief and relaxation came as a result well the world goes on my children as hard as it is to swallow as a mother that they will be okay without me there's so much relief in that because i know that they're like you know it's their journey my journey you know it's everything everything is is to be left as it is so much so much gratification for that beautiful yeah and if the fear of death comes up by all means really be super curious about it super curious get to the bottom of it like tanya like you were saying you know you invite yourself to stay with it don't push it don't brush it over don't run away don't try to fix it yes just give yourself into it completely and see is that is that gonna you know what it is gonna do bob has this beautiful very very practical advice uh amplify it make it worse and the worst case scenario is you're gonna faint so what a big deal you wanna punch in the back you're gonna punch that's a rabbit kill me yeah isn't it sweet i think i'm gonna go off this call and just play i love you yes so today is tuesday we're gonna be here in a couple of days so join us if you can and like and have a wonderful day if you are on on the other side of the world a wonderful night if you are here or wherever wonderful now have a great thank you have a lovely evening thanks thank you thank you thanks bob thank you scott