Sailor Bob and ND friends starting happy new year together. 01/01/2023

I'm Katharina. Julian. David. Joe. Tess. Maureen. Adrian. Andrew. Simon. Nathan. Saroja. Dean. Josh. Oh, you don't know. Oh, all yours. Have you ever, well, I'm going to say to talk about the same old thing over and over again. Then I say I can't teach you anything. Can't tell you anything. All I do is point and ask you to look to where I'm pointing to and see for yourself. Why the hell would you want to listen to me? If I can't teach you anything, I can't tell you anything. But what I speak about is based upon the ancient tradition. Hinduism, they call it Advaita. Advaita, meaning non-duality.

Does everybody hear me? Or not hear me? You're very soft spoken. Oh, thank you. Yeah, open your mouth. Yeah, non-duality. Meaning, not two. One without a second. Pointing to what they point out in the great traditions that all in a lot of the scriptures talking about God is a higher power. But God is only one. Only one God. And we think God is something higher or superior to everybody else. But it's the other way around. Everybody else is our expressions of that life essence, the one intelligence energy. The godliness, we like to put it that way. Because it's that one life essence that patterns, shapes and forms, appearance, and expresses as everything.

And they tell you that also. The great mantra is I am that. That is what I am. That is what you are. And everything else is. The you and the I are still that. You can't get away from it. It's the one, it's all sat, chitta, nanda, nama, rupa. Five factors. Sat is existence. Chitta is consciousness. Nanda is loving to be or the blessed of being. And nama, rupa, nama is the name and rupa is the body. Name and form. And they tell you name and form is maya, illusion. It's only an appearance. But have a look at the way appearances are in this room, outside and in the manifestation implies that there is an amazing intelligence that's patterning, shaping, forming and expressing as everything.

And you are that. That is all there is. And to express itself, it needs to express through different patterns, shapes and forms as the different patterns, shapes and forms. Everything is as it is. It is that. And you know that innately. Don't you say that's the chair, that's the carpet, that's the room, that's the space, that's the house, everything is that. That is you, that is me. Not the pattern, shape and form, its appearance, he says, but as the one essence suffused with that intelligence, energy or life that enables the expression as patterning, shaping, forming to take place. As I say, it's pointed out in many, many different ways that needs to be investigated because we've taken ourselves to be this personal entity, separate entity.

Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community that me, the believed in me, the separate entity, is the cause.

And if you look into the cause, me, and see that the believed in me is a fiction, it's just a label we've put upon ourselves, which is not the truth, which is not the reality. And if you ask yourself the simple question, can there be an effect if it's not related to a cause? Because everything functions in the opposite. And if I'm not related to the cause, me, where can the effect be? So in recognising that and seeing it for certain, I can be rid of a lot of the psychological suffering. Nothing to relate it to, it's just as it is. And what is means unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected, just as it is.

We put the labels on it. And then we're constantly changing. Something comes up and we're constantly changing it and adding to it. And the story goes on. We create a story about it. If it's recognised that I am that one essence, that one intelligence, it's as far as it needs to go. Look at the difference if I am the person. Or I'm fearful, or I'm anxious, I'm unhappy, I'm depressed, guilty, shameful, remorseful. All these problems can happen about it because I'm adding the story onto it. Leave it as it is. That. Innately you know that already because you say that's the chair, that's the carpet, that's the tree, that's the flower, that's the bird, that's the animal.

Everything is already that. And we put the word on it. What do they tell you in the Bible? In the beginning was the word. The word was with God. The word was God. That's all God is, is a word. All things were made by him, by the word. And isn't that true? The chair, the flower, the tree and everything like that. We put the words on. We've discriminated it all with the word, you and me. There was nothing made that was made without the word. So look at that. How many words were you born with? Can anyone remember your birth? You can't remember your birth.

People can tell you they remember a birth or whatever. You can't actually remember your birth because you had no words. How could you remember something if you had no words to say? To say you were born. But you look at it and see with others how they come into existence or appear to be. And then take it that it happened, that this was me. So I had no words when I was born. I didn't pick up any words until I was about two, two and a half, somewhere around that age. When the capacity of reasoning, as the little child starts to grow, he starts to learn words from his parents.

And then the... Reasoning comes in and he starts to reason, work things out. This is this, that's that, and that's something else. But the word is not the reality. Take the word water. See how real it is. Drink the word if you can. Take the word fire. See if it burns you. See if you can cook with it. Take the word I or me. And look at the words we've added onto that. I am Bob or Bill, whatever your name might be. I'm so and so, and this, that and the other. We add all these words in to inform a conceptual image. A mental or conceptual image.

It's not real. And take it to be real. We believe it. Taking it to be real, we suffer accordingly. So have a look at the word. Take the word water. Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you drink it? Can you swim in it? Can you drown in it? You can't. Does the word fire burn your mouth? Can you cook with it? Can you heat yourself with it? So the word, me, what you're referring to. This body, this mind, this believed in person.

Have you investigated, because that's another thing they tell them, that the false cannot stand up into investigation. Some of these concepts or ideas we've got, if we investigate them, they'll fall apart. And that's a fact, because they do. I know it myself, because a lot of the beliefs I had are gone. They didn't have to be there. Look at that word belief. You believe this and you believe that, take it to be real. Look in your dictionary, see the definition of belief. It's an unquestioned acceptance of something in the absence of reason. It means we haven't reasoned it out, we've accepted it without question. Isn't that a fact?

When your parents told you you were a little Billy or a little Jane or whatever it was, you immediately took it on and you still reinforce it to this day. Instead of saying I am the absolute, I am the great perfection. I am the truth as Christ told you, I am the way, I am the truth, I am the light. People thought he was talking about himself. He wasn't, he was talking about that sense of presence that expresses through the mind as the thought I am. The life essence itself. And we say, we learn those words, what do we say? Somebody asks you who you are, you say I am Bill or I am Jane straight away.

You don't say I am the absolute, I am the totality. You can't go around telling everyone you're the absolute anyway, that puts you in the funny farm. But it's so, you are that and that's the great mantra, great put up, I am that. That is what I am. I am that. Everything is that. That's that. Full stop. It's the end of story. But so we learn all these words and take the word to be real. And so we've got this conceptual image which relate using these words, all of our problems are problems of relationship. Relative to. The concept of image. I've got about myself and whatever image I've got about you, it's a different one.

It'll be a relation to it, you know. It'll be other than what I am. And reality is non-dual. One without a second, not two. And relationship relative to is duality. So while this problem of relationship relativity is going on, we're in trouble. We're in trouble. We're in trouble. We're in trouble. We're in trouble. But knowing it's the one essence expressing it as everything. The one life. And you are that life. There is only life. That's what Nisargadatta told you. He says there's only life. There is nobody who lives the life. Life lives on life. And out of life, more life comes. But where did you come from?

Didn't you come from the life of your parents? And your parents? The life of your father. Isn't that what you're talking about? That's the life essence of life. You've got your father. That animating life essence, your pattern, you call your father, enabled in that pattern, through the food he's eating and the air he's breathing, reasoning in it's going on, enabled in that pattern, a little microscopic particle called a sperm to form. That sperm was suffused with intelligence. It knew what to do. And the same thing in your mother. That animating life essence, your mother. She has a blood cell. She's a mother. that animal life essence in your mother, enabled in that pattern a little microscopic particle called an egg or an ovum to form.

That ovum was suffused with intelligence, it knew what to do, it attached itself to all the uterus. And the sperm swam to the ovum knowing what to do and penetrated the ovum. Those two bits of goo were full of life, intelligence, knowing what to do. And when they came together it doubled that cell and redoubled and formed the little fetus, the little embryo, which is what you are today. What were you doing about it then? Did you say I've got to grow a hand or an arm or a leg or a brain? You didn't, you didn't have any words, you didn't have anything to say, anything.

And when you were born, you weren't born with any words, but the little child, the life was in it, it was functioning, it was functioning naturally and effortlessly. It was functioning naturally and effortlessly. When he was hungry he'd cry, happy he'd gurgle and make noises. And the parents would know what to do, feed him and do this, help him to grow. And he didn't pick up any words until he was about two, two and a half. So the problems of life weren't there, the fear, the anger, the depression and all the rest of it. Feeling sorts, feelings would come up. But he couldn't label them as this, that or the other.

He'd cry or be unhappy, but soon get over it. Wouldn't carry it around. What do we do today? Somebody says something to you and twenty years later you might be still carrying it around, what they said to me. Every time you see them it will bring up the story again. And we go on re-dirigitating the story again and again and again. We go on and on. We break ourselves into these unhappy, miserable existences that we have. Recognise the truth, know the truth about yourself. And that's the scriptural saying, know the truth and the truth will set you free. You're free of these beliefs. So something comes up, how does it work?

Something comes up and you don't like it. How do you know? Well, I've experienced this before and it's good. good and we want the good things to happen. Don't want the bad, not realizing as Shakespeare told you three or five hundred years ago, there's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. And the saga tells us a similar thing, he says nothing can trouble you except in your own imagination. Break that word imagination down to image in, imagine and realize that's what we're doing, we're creating these mental or conceptual images of what we believe we are. Take them to be real and suffer accordingly.

So something comes up you like it, good things to go you want to keep them there, not realizing that everything is transient, the whole manifestation, that body is sitting in right now is changing right now. Not one cell but thousands of cells are dying and being replaced. But we don't realize that. And so we like it, we want to keep it there and not realizing it's going, when it starts to go what do we do? We resist it. By trying to keep it there we resist it. And what's resistance? Resistance is conflict, means you're fighting with it, you're trying to keep something there when the natural thing for it to do is to move on.

And we're trying to hold it there. Resistance is conflict and conflict makes you unhappy, depressed, depressed. Guilty, uneasy. Another word for uneasiness is disease. So there's resistance, conflict and disease going on. Something comes up, nothing can come up and you like it, don't like it. Oh I shouldn't be thinking that, I'm a terrible person thinking that thought. I've got to get rid of it. So what do I do? Resist it again. Again in conflict and again disease. No wonder our life's made up of this. Unhappiness, fear, depression. You fear and anger. Constant resistance is going on. What happens if I leave it as it is?

I'm no longer resistant. Shakespeare said nothing either good or bad but thinking amongst us so, we want the good, we don't want the bad. Not realizing there are two ends of the one stick. They're not separate. Two sides of the one coin. Good and bad. Pleasure, pain, happiness. But we're not going to be separated trying to fixate and keep one and get rid of the other. Well you're dividing it against dualism and you're in trouble. But leaving it as it is, it'll change of itself just like in nature. Look at nature. Get information from nature. Nature meaning natural. As in nature, the natural state. Look out there and you see the earth's rolling around the sun.

Seasons are coming and going. Tides coming in and out. Well the seasons are coming and going. I said that. Anyway, the nature is vibrating in these pairs of orders. Like, they're not separate though. Like this earth is facing, this part of the earth is facing the sun now so it's light. As it rolls around throughout the day it'll face the other way. It'll be the other end. And it'll be dark here and be light there but does light know anything about darkness or darkness know anything about light? It doesn't. They come about and change. Winter, summer and all other seasons, constantly changing but they're not separate.

That's our problem when we try to separate, we want the good and don't want the bad and in this conflict of separation. Separation is inseurity, vulnerability. Leave it as it is. Flip the book. unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected. And it'll change. The good will come around again. A good analogy is like the sun and the cloud. You go outside on a cloudy day, sun's seemingly covered over you. Would you say there's no sun in the sky? No, you wouldn't, because no damn well the sun doesn't leave the sky. It's there all the time, though it might be obscured. And then if you question further and ask yourself, what forms the cloud?

And you realize the sun itself forms the cloud. Now, the sun doesn't know anything about the cloud. Its vastness is so great, the cloud is infinitesimal to it, even though it's obscuring it in certain places in the world. So what happens? The sun continues to radiate, continues to shine. What's it do when it's shining? Doesn't it evaporate water? And doesn't the water rise and condense and form a cloud, which obscures it? Doesn't the sun continue to shine? And won't it blow the cloud away or bring it down as rain? And then when there's no cloud in the sky, it's a beautiful sunny day. There's more clarity there, more warmth in it, more joy.

Well, the same thing is applying in this human life. Subtitles by the Amara.org community This body, self-shining life essence in this body is living there. It vibrates and forms thoughts, feelings, emotions, which obscures natural clarity. What happens if you pause a thought and ask yourself, what's wrong with right now if I don't think about it? Get rid of the thought for a while or don't lock into the thought. Isn't there more clarity there? Isn't there more clarity in the thought-free presence awareness? More clarity, more warmth in it, more love, more joy. But when we struggle with it and don't try and make it go or try and make it come, we put in the obscuring with the clouds of concepts again.

And they tell you in Buddhism, the great perfection is non-conceptual awareness. That awareness with the cloud of concepts. And they tell you in Buddhism, the great perfection is non-conceptual awareness. That awareness with the cloud of concepts. Without any concepts, without any... And is anybody unaware right now? No. You know you're unaware. Not unaware, you're aware. And that's another way of putting it, that's that Chittananda. Awareness of being is this. Have an affectionate awareness of being. Be a little bit warm towards yourself. Recognize your true nature and love yourself. See what happens then. When you realize that I already am that. And relax into it, let it be.

Instead of conceptualizing, trying to get out of it. The reasoning capacity can be very useful and there are lots of other things. But in all the psychological traumas and dramas and all the rest of it, it is unnecessary. For it's only me that can be fearful. Only me can be full of self-pity or anxiety and distress. You want to keep those things? Go ahead. Nothing can stop you. If you want to be free from them, you can be. And some of you know this already. And you wouldn't be here if you didn't, because you're out there and the religious things, they've got all the rules and regulations they've put on.

They've put all sorts of mental constructs. Mental constrictions. Constricting it in certain ways with all these concepts and ideas. Instead of seeing it as it was in the beginning, they've recognized it but then weren't satisfied with it. They put their own rules and regulations on it. And each one, each religion has its different rules. But realize it's the one essence that's patterning, shaping, forming. And expressing through everything. And you are that. That is all there is. And you and I and everything else can only and ever be that. Because it's not divided. It's indivisible. It is not separate. It's inseparable. It's non-dual. One without a second.

That's what we're born to. And that's what I say a lot of you know. So you can put it in different words to what I put it. Somebody might hear you better. Or somebody might have questions. Or doubts. Or arguments. But whatever it is. Cat will take over for a minute now. Express it. Away you go. I'll get you used to it. Go on. Thank you. Yes, I'm just going to say welcome everyone. And we have 20 people or so with us. So welcome to those guys too. And this is the time when we really actually give the mic up to you. To ask questions.

To share whatever came up for you. Or perhaps point each other to the simplicity of the truth. If something has really been digested and understood. And is really simple. And it really helps you. It may equally help someone else. And there is no someone else. There is all the same reflection of the same life in everyone. So it really is about finding your center. Finding your heart. Speaking up from it. And yes. So anyone would like to start? And say something? Thank you so much. What it came up for me is that life is a thought. And I'm just celebrating that. Beautiful. Silence is a beautiful pointer too.

It is lovely. But Bob always highlights. That there is a silence in this room. Even when we speak. Silence never gets obscured. So this time is the time for pointing. Silence is never touched by it. We don't kill the silence by the sound. Silence is what we are. And the sound is what comes and goes. And if that sound. If that pointer happens to bring us back to the center. That's the whole role of pointers. Because what we say. It is beyond language. It is beyond pointing. So it is really just to resonate. Just to find the resonance. Something that responds. Not in the mind.

The mind will argue with every word. Or will say I agree. I disagree. That's not what we are looking for. The resonance is something moving in the heart. That oh yeah. Somewhat. Somehow. I know that already. I know that I'm not the body. Obviously the body is changing. I know that I'm not the mind. Obviously thoughts are changing. I'm not. I'm not the personality. Because even that is changing. So what am I? Can I even know that? Can I even know what I am? How would I know it? Where would I know it from? But there is still an urge to find out. To figure out what am I?

Who wants to know? Who wants to figure out? And is it? Is it the not knowing mind? The moments of joy. The moments of peace in your life. When you look back and find any peak experience. Did you know who you were? Did it matter? In the moment of being taken away by the beauty. Of being totally silent and one with all. The heart open. Did anyone care? Was there anyone asking? Oh but this is not right. I have to find something else. I have to find who I am. No. That narrative is gone. And this is the natural state. This is the state in which nature abides.

They don't have planets as far as we know. They don't have this nervous system creating synapses and thoughts. Or animals or trees. They don't have anything that would object to the reality as it shows up. The reality is. As is. As it is. And then we humans we develop this fantastic operational system. This instrument which always navigates everything. And it always tries to negotiate better conditions. And it says no. Not this. There is something better. They're talking about enlightenment. Bliss. Ecstasy. I want that. I don't want this. But that's just a voice. That's just a narrative. That's just a noise. Without subscribing to that narrative.

What's wrong with this narrative? What's wrong with this moment? It's quite an okay moment. It's nothing wrong. And then the thought comes. I was just. Because midnight just striking Poland an hour ago and a little bit. So my family we were exchanging wishes and things. And how good was the year? Was it good? Was it bad? You know judging the year. Looking back. No it was terrible because of the war. Because of Ukraine. Because of this. Well yes if you think about it. But contextualizing a story. And of course this is not to look back and pretend that bad things don't happen to good people.

That uncomfortable and painful and stories like this don't happen. Well if you want to. Look to your neighbors. They all have traumas. Don't have to go that far. You can find suffering everywhere if that's the tendency. But the truth is. You need the story. To contextualize. To concretize it. But direct experience knows nothing about it. In direct experience without buying into it. Your breathing. Heart's beating. Life is. It is. It is. It's quite peaceful. It's quite blissful. Unless there is an idea that says otherwise and that idea is being believed. So it's really about waking up from those ideas. And being a part of it.

ideas to this moment, to the reality of simple being, simple, simple, very, very simple, peaceful, blissful sense of being. And then it becomes the mainstream, it becomes the foreground rather than the background. The silence, like Nisargadatta says, silence sings or it shouts, it screams. It becomes, the heart goes into it, the heart becomes once with it. Not with the entertainment, but with the reality, with that basic scream. So we really, what we point out is to just find where your heart is and where you want to keep it. Just fall in love with the reality rather than in the distractions. Distractions are to be appreciated, absolutely.

There is just so much to love and appreciate. But when you don't believe it, when you know it for what it is, you go to a good movie and you see there are heroes and villains and there are, you know, the heroes journey, they go into obstructions, they go into challenges and they overcome it and they, you know, emerge beautiful, beautiful. All of it is fantastic. Humbling moments in life, so-called lessons in life, they ought to be appreciated. They are all fantastic. But are they happening now? They can be appreciated as a beautiful story. But if that story overwhelms the reality and covers it up completely, then it's not a good story.

It's not a good story. It's not a good story. It's not a good story. It's not a good story. It's not a good story. It's not a good story. It's not a good story. It's not a good story at all. And it is not a good story. It's not a good story. It's a great story either. It's great and it's save and watch the day and it's a good story. But what are they saying? For us, it's you and it's a beautiful story. And I just can't believe it. And you don't have to believe it. And you don't have to believe it. So it's a privilege for all of us to live a renewable life.

So, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome everyone. Waitt, welcome my friends. Thank you. Thank you so much. Well... And then away we go to the doorway, get up a little, yes. the weather is bad and the bad thoughts are coming and you're out of touch you're not in control if you were you only have blissful thoughts Bob is pure awareness above beyond the five senses is the pure awareness beyond five senses all there is is awareness but you can't tell me what awareness is I only say expressions and onto the awareness the consciousness comes then when the senses and all the other things are you unaware right now not basically that's there first and if that life force or pure awareness wasn't there how many thoughts can a corpse have what can it do is the simple answer yes?

does it mean yes? did you answer yes to his question? what was it? whether the awareness is pure or not the pure awareness is beyond the five senses yeah you could say but five senses are not separated because it's only one nothing separated the five senses are within the pure awareness everything everything is a tremendous place yeah thank you thank you Catherine just on that point you know and I think what Bob points out to if there's no me then there's no division because if you're talking about beyond or prior even or it's all that it's like subtly creating another separation of the five senses and then you're not aware of the five senses and then you're not aware of the pure awareness and then you're not aware of the pure awareness and then you're not aware there's no me we're just moment change it's just a form of information yeah whereas if you've got the experience whether it be sensorial like smelling or whatever it's the actuality it's not like there's the smelling and then there's the awareness it's the experiencing of that without a self-center yeah isn't it?

absolutely yes so it's the experiencing of everything as that without the dualistic idea of both of the incoming and outgoing yeah yeah just it'sères a moment I get a bucket of bounced off mind id it feels good you feel good a me and I think the beauty of what I've seen with Bob is that he's actually just pointing and all the Advaita is actually just pointing to the actuality which we miss isn't it it's not about a state or going beyond or even getting a concept of non-dualism but rather inquiring into the nature of life itself and seeing the truth of what's being pointed to as opposed to what we believe in which is the whole social construct you know it's not a religious romanticized notion that we're looking at we're looking in a very clear almost rational same way to see what's the actuality and that may be full of a particular sensation but if we don't equate that with the idea of me and that then it'll just life which it already is doing anyway takes its own course you know we don't we're not actually made aware of this we're not actually shown that this is the actuality we're full of beliefs like it's supposed to be the first day of the new year even when really time is just a mental construct and it's useful but you know all these beliefs we have have just been so accepted and that's the kind of inquiry or challenge isn't it really that that's all that needs to be done because whether we do it or not it's the actuality and this is the sort of mind-blowing insight if you like with coming to something like Bob's is it not to do with any spiritual concept in fact they have to be thrown out the window because they just a layer of that but in my own experience it does require vigilance because the mind can really you know to sort of really see that those thoughts just thoughts and their limitation that they are useful the mind is useful because it describes things and but it's only a concept and we forget that and then to not believe in those thoughts is a kind of a challenge it's not so easy to not believe in the thoughts when you're out in your day-to-day life and you know it's full of challenges people coming at you and things like that and you know it's it's good but it's because the whole world believes in dualism we're kind of in a Lambda you know it's it's challenging but it's good one thing that one thing that came up during this was the the pre verbal state of a toddler and how the things are just appearing timelessly in that state of wonder that is that everything just appears to arise and dissolve without reason, without analysis, without anything, that just that state of how things actually are.

Anyway, that just arose. The natural intelligence. I had an experience yesterday where there was just this, just this deep, amazing, just gratitude came up around the fact that I've, there's these fucking senses that actually exist. And I've got these, these senses are happening, like the seeing, the hearing, the touching, the tasting, like it's so overlooked, just the absolute miracle of that existence and that functioning. Yeah, like it feels like at the base level, there's just a deep reservoir of life. And it's just this love and peace that wants to continue, open up and shine and just continually, the rays of it to pour out and open up more.

But I'm nervous now speaking. But this has been on the back of the last couple of months, a lot of old patterns of trauma and stuff have had to come up to be burnt up or seen through. And it's felt like there's like, you know, like a record and there's been some imprints on an old record, like there's some old records that have been stored in the system. Yeah. Or like some ink on a paper or something, a story that's been written, an old story that needs to have been seen and processed and seen through, like a story attached to an old me. Like I've heard a book called The Body Keeps the Score.

And I sort of buy that sort of thing, like there's stuff that needs to be burnt off. And this might be a story, but this has been the experience here. And when those old patterns continually come up, and are seen through, the light opens up even more. Like what you're not needs to be seen to experience more of what you are, or something like that. Do you know what I mean? Bob wants to say something. No, it's fine. It's fine here. I've noticed that sometimes it seems like there's just energy. And I've... I sort of want to understand that that person who wants to understand or to know that, you know, what's true.

What is my imagination? Is the energy my imagination? And the body's disappearing? Or is it what is the real... But it seems like a habit to want to understand everything. So everybody's asking questions. Yeah. So... That's a wonderful recognition. It's a habit to want to know and want to work it out. That's life that wants everything. That life, the pure intelligence energy, vibrating and patterning, expressing through everything, has all the different things. And it's just that one essence, non-dual. And if it's non-dual, everything other than that must be objective. And objects are not the subject. We don't realise that, that object... subject-object is dualism. What's your next thought going to be?

You can't say. But the thought, I think, comes up. The thought, whatever... As soon as you think, I think this thought, you've formed a subject. And the thought's become the object. Can there be a thinker, a subject, without thinking? And can there be the object without thinking? So as Shakespeare says, there's nothing to be either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. It's the thinking that's so. And as we know, it's only the one essence in which the thinking happens. We look out and that's awareness, that's diffusing truth. Everything we see is objective. The thoughts are objective. The feelings are objective. Who's the subject?

I think it's a nice analogy to look at this, because that was a really good question. You know, who is dreaming? What's imagination? What's real energy? Obviously it's happening. But what is that projected world around it? When you look, when you dream at night, at least what I've observed in my dreams, you know, in the night, I find myself in different situations that are obviously not happening because the body is in a bed. But there are situations, there are people. Sometimes the people are mixed, you know. It's half of my sister and half of my friend and not kind of, you know, not very clear.

And I never know who I am. I never know who I am in the dream. I may be kind of conceptualizing after I wake up, oh, everyone, they was all teenagers, and I didn't stand out, so I must have been a teenager. Oh, they were all girls, so I must have been a teenage girl in the dream. But that's only when I wake up. Being in the dream, those questions don't arise. And yet the world is fully projected, fully furnished. There are situations, wherever attention rests, there are details. When the attention doesn't rest, it's kind of a vague, but the presumption is that there is a world and there is a body in the world and this body does all the things.

And it's all imagined. But who is imagining it? It's just the way the machinery, the electrical impulses, creates the whole reality. The same thing happens when I think, like an hour ago, I was in a dream. I was in touch with my family. I think of them. I can see my brother and my mom and everyone there, but they're not here. That's imagination. I'm imagining they exist. I'm imagining them in the world, the post that they bring up. All of that is imagined. It's really quite a big leap to actually say, this world is all illusion, it is all Maya, it doesn't exist, it's all imagined.

By who? By what? It is a little bit nihilistic to say that, oh no, the war doesn't happen, people don't die. No, we don't really have to define that black and white. Because whether it exists or it doesn't exist, it doesn't matter. It is being experienced. And this is what Catherine was saying. It is about the present experiencing. What is the present experiencing? It doesn't have to be figured out, all why and how, how the projector projects, how the machinery, which program interprets. It's fascinating. Neuroscience is digging into it and it's absolutely wonderful what they find out. The way that computer really creates the world and interprets the world and gives meanings and everything.

By the way, Course in Miracles, lesson number one today, first of January. Nothing I see means anything. You look around and there is no meaning on anything. The meaning comes out according to my past experiences, according to everything that I've seen before because I recognize from the past. That's how the computer works. But can we say it doesn't exist and I'm creating it, the machinery is projecting it? Or can we say it exists as a potential? Or can we say, well, really, what does it matter? What really matters, whether it exists or not exists, or it's solid or not solid, what really matters is to not even need to know or be right about any of those things, but be totally comfortable with, wow, the experiencing is going on.

It's pretty mind-blowing. It's amazing. Okay, five senses, like David was saying. Are they within? Yes, the expression of the awareness. Like one of the quotes I found when I was doing my cards for Bob's Pointers, it is like a wind. You don't see the wind. There's no such thing as wind. But you see the expression of the wind. So there is no such thing as awareness. It's a potentiality for existence. But you see it as an expression. Seeing, hearing, tasting, imagining, thinking. It is incredible. And it is right here, right now. And that's again what Katalin was saying, super important. It is not to be found in future.

It is to be realized that it's happening right in this moment. There is nothing to gain and there is nothing to find out or to become later, as it is now. It has always been and will ever be. It is just what obscures it, what stands in the way. And that's again, Katalin beautifully pointed out. The concepts, the religious beliefs, all those things, they can be questioned. Someone in the back? Yeah, nice. What Katalin and Kat talking about is, yeah, everything, like you could say everything is real, but the me is illusionary, apparently real. And we got stuck in that. There is a falling away.

We could point to it. We can talk about it. This is why we are here, pointing to it. And, but you can't know it. It's not something you can know. How can you know everything is nothing? How can you know the unknown? How can you know everything is possible? So that's a problem for the me, because it needs knowledge and knowing. And this is something you can't know. But there is a possibility that you can disappear. The me can disappear. And when that happens, it's recognized that it never happened. Everything was a story. And, and that's, that's possible. You know, and, and, pointing to it helps.

You know, talking about it helps. Obviously, you know, people get benefits from it. Thank you. Beautiful. Thank you. Julia? I can't claim any credit for this quote, but it came up today. I really liked it. He said, Why and purpose are imaginary friends? İme客 Lovely. Isn't that nice? O manchmal Or enemies. I was thinking the same thing. Imaginary enemies are. That's sad. ther's a friend of my who is, has been, or he, I'm not even going to say give it a gender, but was suggesting that there's a goal in the new year to have a goal. The goal, that's like a purpose, isn't it? You know what I mean?

I mean, isn't that, so like my goal, at least for a long time, I think a long time ago I had a New Year's resolution. I resolved to have no more New Year's resolutions. The goal is simply this. You know, without conceptualizing and going into a me or even needing anything to be different. That said, you know, goals happen. Like I might have a goal to get to the airport at a certain time. You know what I mean? Or there's a fine, like it seems to be a tightrope. You know what I mean? Sometimes like between, okay, wait, I might get caught up too much into, I got a goal to get to the airport by this time or so I can catch the flight.

And at the same time, they happen when you think about it. When you don't label it, it's just what's happening. Driving happens. And that's okay because that's a practical thing, isn't it? It's not a psychological construct or I go to the airport, you know. That's what the mind is for, isn't it? To help us do things in the world. But when we associate, when we use the relative mind as a description of ourselves or the way things are, then we're able to do things in the world. And that's what I mean. And at the same time, they happen when you think about it. When you don't label it, it's just what's happening.

Driving happens. And at the same time, they happen when you think about it. And then we get into this idea of becoming or time and believe in time, whereas it's just meant to be used for the practical living situation. So all these questions that are applied, that we learn, that are applied to the practical side of life, when we use that mind to ask questions in this area, they fall short, like is there meaning or is there not meaning to life? It comes from the mind, which is relative, so it has no relevance because that's coming from the mental realm. And we're not aware. That's the whole thing that I found coming to Bob's here is that he's so very clear with what the actuality is.

You know, it's like we've got to break, tear apart the puzzle or the idea to understand it. And when you understand it, you can just accept it for what it is, but don't apply it to... to give meaning to the timeless or the absolute or whatever you want to call it, which has no name. And I think we are caught in these mental constructs and that's all the problem is, you know, and to have that all broken apart and seen through, you do come to see the actuality of it. Yeah, when the me drops away, you've still got preferences. Still, you know, I still like...

Bruce Willis movies, Italian food, but it's not happening to anyone. And that's without meaning or purpose. It just happens. It's just what is and it just happens. And without meaning or purpose, so it's fucking amazing. But you can't make that into a position, can you? Of course. You can't make that into a position of now we know about mind, we can only talk about it. Then you fall. You fall into the trap of resistance. You know, you fall into the trap of resistance and pretense and falseness and dishonesty. But that's what we hear. You know, yes. That's all we can do. You can never take a position of now I know, you know, because that's just antithetical to what actually we're talking about.

You know, I know now. That type of position. Nobody knows anything. No. Yeah. There's no one knowing. Please, please, if you want to say. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say, well, it's the interesting thing. It's all experience. And when you take positions on it, it's impossible to grasp, really. Like whether it exists or it doesn't exist or it exists in potential only. You can say that about everything that appears, you know, including. But what we think about it is based on memory or culture. Different cultures see these things in a different way. I mean, ghosts don't exist. We tell kids they don't exist.

Kids might think they exist or experience them. And, you know, we define reality and go, this exists. That doesn't exist. The me exists. The me doesn't exist. But all that just arises in the dream or in the image. And. Mm. Yeah, it has nothing you can grasp and you think you want to explain how the machinery works, but nobody knows and that's a cultural thing too. If you start explaining how the machinery works, it has no reality. Beautiful. I think sometimes I just get lost a little with the practical and what's practical and what's, you know, like... Only when you think. Yes, only when I think about it.

That's like, so the thinking about it happens. Yeah. You know? And then you get lost. That's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. When thinking doesn't happen, you're totally clear. I don't have a problem when I don't have a thought. That's right. Yeah. Right now, no problem. Beautiful. Yeah. See how the goal or purpose arises only in the narrative. Without it, action still happens. When you look at the cat, you see the cat just came into the room. She didn't have a purpose to come to the room. Like, you didn't have a purpose to go to the... She never says, I'm going to lose... She didn't lose 20 pounds this year.

She doesn't have a purpose to go to the room. She didn't care. So actions happen. They arise from a different place. And then the narrative, half a second later, the narrative of those actions happens. And then working them out happens. So you might find yourself driving to the airport and then the narrative says, oh, this is my goal. I have to make it to the airport. But without that narrative, you're still driving. Driving's still happening. The goals, the purposes, the meanings, they all happen within the narrative. Yeah. And there's nothing wrong. They arise just like any mood, just like any object, like any sound. Everything arises within that field and passes away within that field.

The problem is we start digging into it. Oh, is it true or is it not true? I agree with that. I don't agree with that. I like it. I don't like it. Okay, that purpose, oh, it doesn't fit that philosophy of non-jewality. Oh, it does fit, but it doesn't... Oh, no, no, no. See, because it's been noticed in this experience, or in my experience, or whatever that is, that when I have a plan, you know, or like I'm going to do this, and I have a goal, and I've got even a date, and I'm going to maybe action steps, and I'm going to do this and this, it really helps.

You know, like you use an app to monitor, well, I've got a goal. I can't go above 500 calories in a day. Or something, right? Okay. And there's your idea, and then you go up, not above that, and then you're doing the... You know, like... Yeah, I'm just fascinated about goals, because it is the first of the year, and it's like a time where a lot of people have goals. Look, if you don't give it a meaning, what is ever wrong with going to school and learning to write as a child goes to school? It doesn't say, I have a goal, to learn how to write, to become a writer.

No, it goes to school and learns. You might have less resolution to learn dieting, or to do 10,000 steps like Tanya, or do whatever, if it comes up organically, and you don't make a problem of it, that's what's happening. You know, ego doesn't have the goal to fly a thousand miles, but flying is happening. If the narrative happens alongside the activity, it's still not a problem. The problem arrives only when you start having narrative over the narrative and digging it in. Yeah, it's exactly right, because there's a narrative of, right, so you got a goal, who's got a goal? Yeah. And who doesn't, yeah, who doesn't, yeah, so there's that, but, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so, huh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's totally not necessary. It's like nobody ever in a non-Jewish circle will discourage any activity. You know, if you're passionate about singing or writing books or getting better in a new language, or learning to drive the buses, or doing any sort of mind training, including the mind training of mindfulness or meditation, whatever is happening, that's the life, that's the energy of life expressing. And that's not, doesn't cause any suffering. You know, learning the course to paint your nails, whatever it is, doesn't cause any suffering. What causes the suffering is the story about it and trying to work it out in the mind and trying to fit it into what I already know, or believe.

Who is doing that? That is the suffering. Oh, I shouldn't be thinking, I shouldn't be doing lessons, I shouldn't be meeting my goals because that doesn't fit to this, that, that, that, that, that. No, even organically happens, just like everything in nature. There's nothing wrong, actually, to make it more funny. I never did any New Year resolutions because I always had an unquestioned assumption that they don't work. Because all of my friends who were losing, quitting smoking on 1st of January, none ever did. And I'm not saying that they don't work, but I'm saying that they do. And I'm not saying that they don't work, but I'm saying that they do.

And none ever did, or doing all the other things. It's just, I never tried it. This year, I just jokingly said to my family that I'm taking up a New Year resolution to try a method of undoing childhood trauma, which is kind of a, you know, like a little exercise. But why not? This organically arises. Who is doing it? Who gives a shit? Yeah, life's doing everything. There's no one else, it's only life. Who is doing the speaking? Is it me doing the speaking or I shouldn't be speaking because there's no one else? I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything.

I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything for me. I should . No, I don't do anything. Who is doing the singing? Who is doing the hearing? Nobody does anything. There's no one there who does the right thing. Come on. And nobody gives a shit. It just occurred to me that if the cat lost 20 pounds, that it would lose all its weight and die. It did. She's 70. 70 pounds. Yeah. But, you know, if you do anything 100%, it's not that you can lose all of your weight and die. It's a bit of a, There's no room for any questioning of it, is there?

Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, absolutely. You'll lose weight, unless you lose total weight. You'll lose the idea of losing weight. There's nothing added unto us in this realization, we're just realizing what we already have, which is spontaneous life in this instant, enjoying things as they occur in the precipice of right now. That's all that's going on, and yes, it is a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. I remember when there was a division, there was this thing called practicality, like daily living, and this other thing called spirituality, and life became really much better when it was realized that there isn't, there's not a thing called practicality, there's not a thing called spirituality, there's just now, in which all of these things occur.

And you know, it's just, if there's like a narrative with it, there's words that say, I've got a goal, it's like, that's what's actually appearing, and there's a goal, and it's really no different to when you're meditating on the highest mantra, and transcending into super-duper consciousness, or whatever's going on. Super-duper! No, it's all the same thing, like wonderful spiritual high experiences, or planning, or baking a cake, or whatever, or baking a cake, it's all just this one, it's all just appearing in the same, it's not appearing to anyone, it's just how the show is unfolding, with different little labels, and embedded meanings, and it's just like, whoa, what a show!

Beautiful! Happy New Year! Absolutely, Happy New Year! We have a lot of Happy New Year wishes from our online community, and we have not really a question, I got a compliment from my beautiful Polish designer, thank you, and I got the Happy New Year, and the words of appreciation from Bill, wonderful, pointing to the absolute simplicity of all this, great peace, love, us, our challenges, wholeness. Beautiful reminder, thank you, Bill. And no questions! Happy New Year, Happy New Year, Happy New Year! One of the things that came up after Dean spoke was that, here, one of the things that occurs in relationship to the me is where all of a sudden I become corrective, or I start to have a preference, or I think things are right or wrong, or black and white, is related to suffering.

And what occurs right now is, no one suffers. Somehow that suffering is, is held in some special category, and yet suffering isn't any different than joy. It's, it's just another appearance here. Here you go. No, no, no. Come on. Come on. No, I just laughed. Nothing. The fan's going to come out this mouth. Okay, I got a, I got a comment from Keith. He says, love and best wishes for everyone. And there was a lot of best wishes for everyone. So everyone getting best wishes from everyone. One, all one. And Jane says, the nature of the narrative is to name and claim, which is appearing on the awareness.

Yeah, simple as that. That's the nature of the narrative. It doesn't, yeah, you don't have to subscribe to it. Just see it as another piece of arising, like Dean was saying. And don't even question. I mean, if questioning happens, you know, you're not the one who questions. It's the narrative, the commentary of the narrative. They're all appearance. They are objects within, within the consciousness, within the pure subjectivity of, of that which you are. And if you are kind of like a curious and stepping back and fascinated, woo, even whatever happens, childhood trauma, this regulation doesn't matter. Whatever happens, it's like, oh, wow, interesting mood swings.

Ooh, wow. Not personal. Not personal. This is the way the energy of your life experiences. And it's not just the way you feel. It's the way you feel. It's the way you feel. It's the way you feel. It's the way you feel. Your life expresses through the available means. If the body has been conditioned this way, that's how it is conditioned. That's, that's what comes out. Depression happens. Oh, yeah, wow. Interesting. How can depression not be devastating? Well, it can. How can sadness or anger not be causing a suffering? Well, it's kind of, it's kind. Because you are the consciousness and this is what arises.

Beautiful white clouds are as beautiful as the beautiful heavy, dark, pregnant with thunderstorms cloud. You know how to look. There is no judgment. Everything's mind-blowing. And that's the freedom because then you, natural tendency, as Simon was saying, there will be still preferences as long as there is a body-mind. Well if we eat rather Italian than we'll eat the cut chip, eh? Of course. And that will like a smell of a perfume rather than the smell of decay. That's the body has been wired this way to survive. If it was drawn to decay and to long food it would not be here for the expression experiencing.

So yes preferences. Cats. See she has preference for the worm. Straight away as soon as I moved out she got my chair. So that preferences are part of the machinery. But are you the machinery? Machinery is your binoculars. This is your vehicle. You're the lives. Life uses the life. The machinery. If life has this type of instrument this type of music will go out of it. But that music is not you. If there is a movement again to do the mind training, to learn patience, perseverance, beautiful or whatever. Beautiful. There is nothing wrong with anything. It's just safer regarding suffering if no credit is taken.

There's no one who takes credit. If there is no one who wants to figure it out or no. If there is a sense of relaxation and joy in the accepting unknowability and mystery of life. If there's any illusion that I know something I worked it out. Well welcome to hell. Because now you have to remember it all the time if you forget. Oh shit you're fucked. That's yeah. Not knowing and being totally at peace and totally comfortable. That's the freedom. Go on Peter. Well I'll tell you what Peter has to say. I forgot what I have to say there. Yeah it'll come back. Sorry. Yeah I just want to add this.

There's a difference between preferences and seeking freedom or seeking spiritualness or mindfulness or. I mean I was like that. And I think I'm think that's what a lot of people do. Certainly I was a big seeker and seeking what's already there, you know. So when it was always under my nose, it was great when we can end seeking. So yeah, I mean anything can arise, meditation or whatever, you know. But when we're seeking for the relief of, you know, and it's just, now you can laugh at it, we can laugh at it, you know, like just, okay, you know what I mean, do another course on spiritual, on the miracle, what is it, course of miracles or whatever.

But good luck, yeah. So, yeah. So what did you do to drop that seeker? I didn't do anything. Yeah, good point. What do you do to drop the seeker? You can't. Yeah, say it. Yeah, I'm just, I'm just so sick of it. So sick of it. And it's the biggest obstacle. I realize this nonsense. I actually really wish, even, even, I don't know, I just don't see anywhere. I just wish I could just stay for myself and I just wish even I never really came across this to be so absorbent. And I can't drop it. And I totally see the nonsense, ridiculous way I'm carrying this on.

How do you know you haven't found it? Well, I'm not free. That's how I know it. How do you know? Comparing to what? Comparing to even when I was totally in my ego state, not even knowing anything about awakening. Compared even with then, I'm worse off. Because what happened is just desire just came, burned me. I didn't even know what it is when it did that to me. And I lost all my motivation in life, everything I liked. And it wasn't replaced with anything. And I'm just left with this nonsense, desperate seeker. And I'm just sick of this life. It's been three years. I mean, June will be three years, two and a half years.

And I'm just sick of it. I know this is my biggest obstacle. I'm totally, you mentioned that you are, I'm totally evaluating all of my actions. Is this non-duality? What should I do? Should I accept? Should I let go? Should I do this? I mean, I'm sick of it. I'm not at all living life. I'm less living life than before when I was totally not knowing anything about spirituality, honestly. Could I just say, I can really identify with what you're saying, because I went through the same thing a couple of years into this, I think. But there is, there's nothing to seek. You are it.

You are that. And I'm always trying to find that I've got to get to awareness and be more aware and drop this and drop that. But you are. You've got to get to that. And I think that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to find that. I'm trying to find that. I'm trying to find that. I'm trying to find that. I'm trying to find that. I'm trying to find that. So what does it mean, kind of, what does it mean to be this, just jumped the, jump the shark sort of thing, you are that? You don't have to find anything or, or be anything or?

How do I stop this? The mind just says, I've got to find it. I've got to get there. It's over there. But it's not over there. You, you are there. You are that. How do you get there? I'm not, I'm not, it's not the place to get there. No, I know. It's not the place to get there unless. I'm sorry, I don't know any other way to say it. But. Yeah. And what did you do? How did you drop it? Nothing. You, you dropped it. It just ran out of its energy. It stops by itself. Do you want a mic? The me will always try and find a way out.

And I think we're all here because most of us hit that brick wall. We did everything to find. So there's nothing you can do because you're not there. It's not happening. But it's just relaxed a little bit more. I was going to say, you know, the hell has been part of the journey. It really fucking has. If we're brutally honest here, you know what I mean? Like we can say we're all floating around and everything's cool. But dark. Dark nights of the soul, whatever. You know, the me had to get to a point of, you know, that dream had to get really dark before. Some of it just snapped through sheer pain.

But continually turning up to this stuff with some. I don't like these word gurus, but people who are speaking directly from the heart and the truth. And the truth inside me. Here's truth. And then it starts seeing through the false. That what what I'm not. So that those messages. Had to continually see through to see it. Deconstructing the false narrative and stories as seeing this as bullshit. And it's a very practical investigation. It's very fact finding mission. If you look at this from almost a factual basis, you know, this is concepts that are moving all the time and changing. No wonder I was like, I thought I was a hundred different people from time to time.

You know what I mean? It was a different story, different day. Suddenly life is one day is great. Sunday, one day it's shit. That's the perspective and the filter. Creating that. So. Yeah, it's just. Uh, you know, I've been here a few years, so it's just continually seeing this and this has been a gradual opening. It hasn't been. There's been some big shunts. It's a big shots and fuck. Oh, there's just, there's nothing. It's just spaciousness. It's beautiful. Uh, and then, you know, something appears again out of that space. That to be looked at. So the hell is part of the journey. But. Yeah, it's fucking worth it.

So, um, but I feel for, you know, compassion, I think needs to come into this a lot, you know, because we can sit on this, you know, real deep compassion for, for the human struggle, you know, so that that needs to be honored and, um, supported. Yeah. But yeah, these messages and these groups and they support can, can support the, the, the process if you want to call it that. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Also, um, I can't remember your name. Mitra. Mitra. Mitra. Mitra. Mitra. Um, you're innocent. Like nothing, there is no you. There is no mind. And the thoughts, the imaginary thoughts that get produced from that imaginary mind and the imaginary you know nothing about the truth of what's happening.

They just know absolutely nothing about it. They're just like wind or. Just some kind of passing thing that rises and dissolves. And, um, so nothing created whatever it is that's happening there and nothing will resolve whatever it is that's happening there. It's all just this timeless occurrence. But it's innocent. To realize that in this moment, you are meant to rise. Sure. Absolutely. Or not. Or not. Or not. Or not. Or not. Or not. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I get it. Sure. Sure. I mean, I get it. Sure. I mean, I get it. Sure. Absolutely. No, there's nothing. No, there's nothing. You need. You need.

You need. Yeah. You need. Yeah. You need. You need. You need. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll remember now. Thank you. Freedom. Thank you. Freedom will come when you drop, but you won't get that. I just have to. Yeah, that is, that is really sad, but it's a profound realization what Simon just said. You keep it. You keep it. It's a profound realization to me that so much wants to get it and so much wants to know that me is a cloud that obscures the sky. That me will never, ever find anything. You seem to be, and I love the way you actually said it. Three years ago, you weren't a seeker.

You were some, you were identified as something else. And then you've identified as a seeker and you seem to be stuck in that persistent identity. This is who I am. How have I got out of myself? You can't. You just have to realize that this is not who you are. You're not the seeker. Are you seeker when you eat your chocolate cake? Are you a seeker when you're struggling on your toilet? Or when you get up in the morning? Or when you have sex? You're not. If you notice that this persistent identity of seeker, this is who I am, it is only there when you look.

Oh, who am I? Oh, I'm the spiritual seeker. I have to find it. I can't find it. This spiritual seeker identity is not. This is a costume. This is a dress. You don't have it all the time. You didn't have it three years ago. And three years ago, you were perfectly alive. You were fine. You were conscious. So you are not the seeker. Seeker is the voice that comes up. It's a role. Like, you know, people play roles in life. We have multitude of roles. We are mothers, fathers, daughters, friends. All those roles. We get into those roles. And sometimes we get stuck in one of the roles.

I am a woman. I am a feminist. Or I am a vegan. Whatever the role is. When we get stuck in it, that kind of gets rigid and gets tight. And it feels wrong because that's not who you are. You are the free, open field of consciousness capable of being anything at once in the totality. But it is stuck in the role of the seeker. How do I get out? You do not. The seeker is a costume. How the costume? Is the costume even aware? Is the role even aware of the consciousness? Is the seeker even, the role even aware of the existence of life?

This is a dead costume. It's a role. It is dead. It's not aware. So you are aware of the seeking pattern. But is the seeking pattern aware of you? No. So that seeking pattern is something that comes and goes on consciousness. But you are prior to that pattern. You are there when it comes and when it goes. You know, when it comes, obviously, habitually, you straight away identify, put it on, oh, this is who I am. But then when it goes, you still are. You may be a girl or you may be a wife or you may, whoever you are, you may have different identity, but not this.

So you are prior to all identities. If you just, because it really is about recognizing what is already so. There is nothing you're going to get tomorrow or in future time. You either recognize it in this immediacy or you don't. If you recognize it, that's the moment of freedom. It's not that, oh, I saw it, now I'm free forever. There is no I to be free forever. That's the paradox. Nobody gets enlightened because there is no one there who would claim the enlightenment. The I, the I as a seeker, the I as a woman, the I as whatever, is dead. Bob's dead. Isn't it? Isn't it?

It's changing. Bob's alive. Yeah. So that's really, really simple recognition. It's a shift out of the I. The me, the seeker, is never becoming a finder. There's no becoming. The seeker dissolves when you actually realize. And I love, that's why I wanted to highlight it. I love when you actually narrate that this started at a certain point. It has the beginning and now it tortures, it's pestering you. So it is something that appeared on the platform, on the pure consciousness of being. It appeared at a certain time. And you were before that and you were better off. You said that. Much better. Much better off.

You see? So this is not who you are. You're not the seeker. Even though it might feel like, this is more me than anything I've ever played in my life. Because I'm so in love with the truth. I so want it and I so desire it. It may feel like this is more of the core or heart of who I am than anything else, any other role. I remember being there, you know, being so obsessed about the spiritual truth. Every other role was neglected because of the obsession. But the truth is, the moment the realization, the shifting out of that persistent identity happens, identity is like a balloon that the air goes blown off it and it goes small and flat and That seeker, that balloon, it never gets anything.

Or like clothing, you take off and they discard it. They never get anything. Seeker never finds the truth. And no one finds the truth. The truth is that there is no one there. And if there is no one there, there is no desire for the truth. I don't know any truth. Because if there is any I, this is just a word. What the word can ever know? Nothing. Seeking actually adds another layer of conflict. That's the trouble. You know, seeking, prior to seeking, you're just dealing with all your day to day issues. And then you become a seeker and you add another layer of conflict.

Because then you start to think, well, you know, I'm meant to become something. Something beyond whatever the concept is. And there you go. You've got another layer of conflict on your ordinary life. And that's a killer. You see? That's the killer. I'm no longer there. I'm not enlightened. I've got to do this. Oh, I'm foolish. I've made a mistake. All the stuff that goes on. So you actually are worse off. But that's what has to be seen. The falseness of... Well, you just have to work that one out. Because that's all that's going to happen. Yeah. So what's going on? That added layer of conflict of not becoming.

Of becoming. I can't drop the thing. I mean, what to do until then? So the idea of becoming. The idea of becoming. Is there truth in the idea of becoming? I also seen that enlightenment, okay, if I put it this way, it's kind of, it's an illusion. Yeah. Correct? It is an illusion. It is an illusion. There is nowhere to get. I know that. That's a false concept. Well, I don't know. I know that intellectually. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So intertextually. But I can't drop this energy.

I mean, when you said all this that is going to happen to me, and I see that there is no me. And there is no seeker and whatever. What to do now until that happens, because apparently I can't make that happen, I just have to, relax. That's the working. That's the working of the mind, that. You might need to look at. That's the operation of mind. That's how the mind operates. I'm this and I'm going to become. That's the mind. So you have to see that that's how the mind works. You know, understand that's how the mind works. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always going to think I'm not good enough.

I'm this and I have to become. That's right. So you have to understand that that's how the mind works. The mind works that way. And that's what we're being taught, to think like that. We're being taught to think, and that's useful if you're learning to drive. Okay, I've got to learn this, that, and the other. But when you see that's how the mind works. So it's applying that to this way of understanding. And it will never work. You have to see that that's how it works. That's all. That's how the mind works. And that's what we grapple with. That's our constant grapple. It is becoming.

That's all. That's the problem. There's one I like, which I heard here, and it really sunk in one day. And I realized the thinker is a thought. That there's actually someone here thinking all this is a thought. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, it was really amazing. I suddenly realized that's all it is, is that I keep imagining there's someone here thinking it, that's going to do it, that's going to get it, that's going to change something. Yeah. Those are just thoughts. That's amazing. That's amazing. And that's how we're taught this. We're never shown this. We're never taught. No, we're never. No one tells us this. It's just not spiritual seeking.

It's any form of seeking that creates... Yeah, it's not... Spiritual seeking, seeking drugs, seeking sex, seeking... Seeking sex. ...seeking money. It's still the same. The me claims ownership. Forget about... Sorry, we won't talk about that. But, you know, the ownership of that seeker is looking for what's already there. That's probably what's already there, but it's seeking. And it's endless. But there's a fear. There's a fear that the end of seeking may end that ownership. Yeah. That all of a sudden the me is not there. Yeah? That's not conscious to me yet, but yeah, I know it's there. The fear. Yeah, yeah. Very little things. But any form of seeking is still in that trap.

Not just spiritual seeking. So it's good you're here. Yes. Thank you. I was going to say, and the... The seeker is already too late. It's too late. Like the awareness of what we are is already... The isness is there. And then a seeker appears out of that isness through thought as a seeker. So seeking comes up through thought and creates this character of a seeker. Like there's seeking, but there's no seeker sort of thing. It's the identification with that thought as being a seeker. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen through that, which is pretty tough. Well, I don't know.

Can be. It is tough. Yeah. But even saying it's tough, that goes back into thought going, this is tough. And I'm... Yeah. It just feeds into it. So going through thought to try and look for it. Well, we'll never get it. It's seeing the whole story. Anything coming up through thought is already out of... Is already after what I already am. But it's my habit, isn't it? It's very much a thinking habit. The me is a thinking habit and it gives this illusion of continuity over a period of time, which doesn't actually exist. So it's like this me has created this story for all these years, but it doesn't actually exist.

That's all because it's like memory. It's created this illusion of continuum over time, but it doesn't, right now that doesn't exist. Like the now doesn't even exist. Time doesn't exist. So memory is just concept of a me that isn't there. Sort of thing. What you're seeking you already are. Start from the fact of your own being. That's all you've got to do. Start from any other point. Relax of the mind. Thinking takes you away. Stop talking and thinking because that makes you move away from the truth. I just need to relax. Totally. I need to do it. It's so hard. Because mind. The mind can never get it.

The more mind, the less understanding. Mitra, you look really good to me. You're fine right in this instant. You look really good to me. You look fine. Everything's good about you. Nothing wrong at all in this instant. Do you get that? To you, but not to me. What's the difference between me and you? There's nothing except that idea that's there. Just for an instant. Is it possible that you can change that? Do you change your mind? Do you change your mind? How often do you change your mind? Once every five seconds? You say that these things are always there. They're very strong. I can never get rid of them.

It's always there. I'm always seeking. But is that true? That's not true. That's not true of you at all. In the next instant, you'll be thinking something entirely different. Where did that thought come from? It's not yours. You see, you let go of possession of all of your thinking. And you're going to change your mind. In this present moment, you'll be fine. Whose thought is that? Just thought. That's whatever life is bringing in here, right? It's not my thought, right? I can't subscribe to that. Just leave all that alone. Let's just change the subject. That's the best way to go, isn't it? We can change our mind.

That's the power we do have. Thank you. And I have just a couple of comments from people who are with us online. And thank you everyone for... For participation, for coming live. I wish you did when we were sitting in silence initially. But thank you. Never blessed. Jane says... Vivek says first, mind the mind. What a fantastic advice. Mind the mind. Yeah. Mind the mind. It creates divisions and narrations. It is all mind made. You know? Silence doesn't have any problem. What's wrong with right now? And then Jane says the narrative, the me and the disease that is created in the memory, the response to the other person, place or thing is just a story appearing on the awareness.

There is no answers in the mind. There's no answers in the memory. Don't look for them there. Keith says priceless. Don't look for the answers. See who asked question. Because there is no other. And Keith says living within the gift of the experience, there is something to be said for the taking it one day at a time. Just like all the other life on the planet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I am within the free open field of consciousness while choosing the re experience, the recognition of experience and freedom.

Beautiful. One breath at the time. One day at a time. What's happening within the field? Beautiful. Jane says, who wants to know? That's a good question to remember too. Who is the question I both often ask? Question and the question arise and subside together. They inseparable. Question and the question. They're just the same field of illusion. And Keith says, enlightenment is not a destination, it is your natural state. If you want to define the natural state, it's probably a safer world. It doesn't bring all the... And that, I think, would be probably enough. We have 15 minutes over time, and thank you very, very much for coming and starting the so-called New Year with us.

Thanks, everyone. Thank you. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.