Sailor Bob - nonduality - Presence translates as I Am

It's like preaching to the choir again. Out of tune, start again. But understand, we don't teach you anything, and we don't tell you anything. How can we, when you understand what we're talking about? We're talking about the one essence that's patterning, shaping and following, and experiencing and expressing as everything. We call it essence. The labels, the words we say here, people still get tangled up in the words. But we say the description's not to describe, the map's not the territory. The only point is the word is not the real. We point that out constantly, and people take the word oh, what do I do, or how will I do this, and all the rest of it because they take the word to be real.

All appearing on that, what we call, the one essence. And it's not the back of anything. That's when you understand, you know, thought stops, what's the back of thoughts? There's nothing back of thoughts, because have a look, take the analogy of the mirror. All the reflections are appearing in the mirror. Now look at those reflections in the mirror. You can't say they're not there, they aren't there. Now is there anything in the back of any of those reflections, or are they in the mirror, and on the mirror? There's not something in the back of it that's different. It's just the reflection in the mirror. So everything is reflecting in that basic space, or if you like to call it that, or in that empty essence.

There's nothing back of it, so when you get to see many they say, lost it and it's come back. When it comes back, what is it? It's still the same mirror, with expressions, or patterns, shapes, and forms in it. Reflections. Reflections are, that's where the analogy of the mirror can't reach it, because a mirror needs something outside of itself to reflect it. But when that reflection in the mirror, see what's back of them. See if you can take them out of the mirror, or discriminate them, or separate them from the mirror. You can't. So they are the mirror itself. So any thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you think you've got to get beyond and stop and all that.

All that. You've got to understand that the word or the thing is not the real. They're all appearances in, like the reflections are appearing in the mirror, but they're on the mirror, so they're not the real. Everything is appearing on that essence that you, or in that essence that you are. And there's nothing other than that. Everything is that. And we know that in our language. Because they say, that's the chair, that's the carpet, that's the house, that's the tree, that's the flower. And all that which we put label in. Label's one of them. That is the one without a second. The non-dual, pure intelligence energy.

And people lose sight of it, but I don't understand what I'm saying when I call it intelligence energy. Now have a look at this manifestation. Is it anything other than energy? A seeming or somewhat vibration? Now intelligence is knowing, or cognising. That's another term for knowing. Isn't that knowing and cognising? Isn't that intelligence? To know it's a tree, a flower, or the two and two is four, or eight and one, four is twelve, or this, that, or the other. Doesn't it imply intelligence? Not your intellects. But a innate knowing or intelligence. Now intelligence is a movement, or somewhat of a movement. It's vibrating constantly. And isn't that an activity?

Any movement is an activity, isn't it? So the activity of knowing. That's intelligence energy. It's not some fancy name for it. It's still the basic same as presence awareness. Or is it? Different ways of describing, different ways of patterning. And none of it is ever separate. While we think there's something separate and we've got to become something, or attain something, or get rid of something, it doesn't happen. We might think it happens, but it doesn't. You're not the reality until you recognise that that's all there is. You are the reality, and have always been the reality. Not as it patterns, shapes, or forms, or appears to be.

But even as it's patterning, shaping, and forming, and appears to be, it's still the reality. If you're not putting the conceptual labels or images on it. That's what we say. Recognise that. Now knowing it as that, and that as all there is, can you ever lose it? Can you ever gain it? No. It needs to be recognised, that, because years and years we went along, we didn't recognise, we didn't investigate, we didn't recognise. We've come to the belief that seems solid and real, that we are this person. We are this separate entity. We are this individual. And everything around us is separate. All the manifestation is separate.

And individual patterns, shapes, and forms. And take if you can, anything, or you can take all the things outside, out of space, but what would they be in? They're only appearances or patterns in space. And what is space? If you like to use that label. Space is the cognising emptiness they talk about. The emptiness is fused with that intelligence, the activity of knowing. And that's the basic thing you are. You know that you are immediately, and have always known that you are. As far back as you can remember, when the reasoning started. There was a knowingness which translated to the thought I am. And that's the word you started to learn.

And every word you've ever spoken or ever liked to speak has been picked up or learnt. Picked up along the way. And there's no word that is the actual. Investigate the word. And have a look. Can you drink the word water? You can't. Can you wash it? You can't. The word fire, does it burn your mouth? Can you cook or heat yourself with that word? So what we've got in this word I or me, we've taken to be real. Who are we talking about and what are we talking about? I, who? It can't be anything other than the conceptual image you've formed about yourself. We'll add on to the word I, but you can't just add I to that.

We put the rest of the concepts, because you can't grasp that single I, just a single word or thought. So we put the am on to it and then we put the concepts. I am this body, I am this mind, I am a person, I am this individual, I am no good, I am fearful, I am anxious, I am unhappy, I am depressed. All added onto that I thought. All mental concepts. Look at the little baby. What concepts has it got before it learns any words? It's seeing, it's hearing. When it came out of the womb it could see, it could hear, it could taste, touch, smell.

Think, it couldn't think, it wasn't reasoning, it couldn't think, it didn't have any words to relate the thinking to. If there was thinking going on. Discriminating was going on. It wasn't seeing in the modest mob out there, it was seeing things as separate. But believing them, it wasn't believing them to be separate from me. It was all contained in this me, in this I. So we see that the word is not the thing and all the things, the no things are patterns, shapes and forms. When they tell you that this manifestation is Maya, it is illusion, the ones that understood that and pointed it out and recognised it, they were telling you the truth.

And they're the ones that the religions and things formed around these, ones that knew and recognised the truth within themselves and were able to pass it onto one or two and then they passed it onto somebody else and then people started forming their own concepts on it. And put all these structured religions, things on it, you know, you've got to do this and you've got to do this, you've got to follow this and all the rest of it. And we've lost sight of the basic essence. And every so-called pattern, shape and form in this manifestation is a thing. The tree is a thing, the flower is a thing, the cat's a thing, you and I are things.

And space is no thing. You can't put a shape and form into space. You can't put a beginning or an end to it. Or a start or a finish, any static point or any centre or circumference, it's no thing. And all these things are the content of space. Silence, stillness, emptiness. So can something come from nothing? Tell me what it is if you can. But something cannot come from nothing. All these things including you, me and everything else are no thing vibrating into this pattern, shape and form. And even the thoughts and things that are appearing in this pattern, shape and form, they couldn't appear or express in that.

These thoughts, feelings, emotions, which are all things, couldn't appear in that if that life essence wasn't functioning in pattern, shape and form. The beingness or the life or the intelligence, energy, etc. So it needs a pattern to express through, a thing to express through. And that thing needs to have the capacity in it of reasoning to express through and learning of the words to reason through these things. But they're still not separate. Still only the one. And that thing we call the pattern of the body, has these thoughts and things, and break it down into the cells of all those cells of things. And each and every cell is suffused with that intelligence energy.

And see the skin cell can never be a heart cell. A lung cell can never be a brain cell. The cells in the eye can't be the cells in the nose. Each cell is a unique expression. Pattern, shape and form. But there are still only things. And it's the one. It's all the one. And one's a number which we've learnt. And when this one comes about, there must be two. And this you read as I say, it's one without a second. It's one on its own. Not two. But as soon as we say one, we've come to believe that there is two. Another. Except the other than one.

We look around ourselves and we see what is and we say this is other than me. This is not me. And you are other than me. The tree outside is other than me. Everything in appearing is other. But they pointed out one without a second. Not even one. Because you can't put that term on it without believing or thinking there is something other than that. There is nothing other than that. And that is again back to the essence. It's all that. Nothing other than that. I am that. You are that. This is that. Everything is that. We know that in our language. That is what we know.

Everything is that. One non-dual pattern, shape and form without a second. And it's expressing as other than the one. What comes up in the mind or this reasoning comes up. We're related to this conceptual image we build about ourselves. And that's all that I is. You can't do much with I. What can you do with I without putting a thought on it or a concept or an image on it? What can you do with it? It's just a sound. Just a sound. Sound is a vibration. And a vibration is nothing but a movement of energy. And when you look at this thinking the way it's going, see how it vibrates.

Good, bad, pleasant, painful, happy. That's a vibration. Moving back and forth. And what's it hit the, what walls do it hit to stop it from vibrating? Good, bad, pleasant, painful, happy, sad, loving, hating. Take those boundaries away from it. The word, where does it go? It goes out like that Psalm says, you know, the words go forth to the end of the earth. Well does it? I forget it now. It's a beautiful thing anyway, the way it says. The voice is not heard. The heavens declare the glory of God. The verse worth showeth forth the work of his hand. Words go forth to the end of the earth.

Well something like that anyway. The words go out there. If they're not putting anything beyond it, what are they going to do? Where's that word going to go? And they'll disappear and be swallowed in space. Where does it come from? Where does the sound come from? It comes from the space again. Got the gong there. Strike that gong and it disturbs the silence. You hear it resonating through the silence, through the stillness and through the emptiness and it disperses back into the silence again. All pointers that pointed out, they're clear as day, they're there, but we never notice them. And that's understandable. Because we're never taught to notice.

We're never taught to look there. I'm spitting all over myself. Dod and old bastard. We're never taught to look. We're taught to look out there. To acquire, to accumulate, to amass. Get a good education, get more wealth, get a house, get a car, get a good relationship, acquire, amass, all these things and you know, that'll make you whole and complete. Because you feel that you are separate. But we never look and see, were we really separate or are we really separate? We never ever were, never ever could be and never will be. Though it still appears to be so. And I use those analogies. Go down to the ocean, get me a bucket of blue water out of the sea.

You go down there and you can pull a bucket of water out of the sea. Is it blue? No. Will it ever be blue? No. And this, as one fella did one night, if I could put a blue rinse into the water, he said, here's some blue water for you. But the water itself wasn't blue. The colour was in it. And what was that? You know, where was I going with that analogy? The water's not blue. But you walk away from it and it still appears to be blue. The same with the blue sky. Go out there in space. Go out there in, outside of the world, you look up and you see there's what seems to be what a blue dome over here.

It looks as though it's a dome. And it'll look like that because it's reflecting the earth, which is round. So it's seemingly reflecting the earth. But when you look at the earth, it's the same thing. People believed the earth was flat years ago. But who would believe today? Because they've seen through it. Don't go out there where the sea and sky are met. It looks like where the sea, the horizon and the sky are met, it looks like the edge of the earth. And people believed it was the edge of the earth. They'd go out there, you'll fall off the edge of the earth. People were fearful.

But they eventually saw through it. Who would believe it today? We've got all these beliefs and beliefs are another word we've heard. And have a look at it. And what's the meaning of that? Look at the dictionary definition. The definition of belief is of unquestioned acceptance. An unquestioned acceptance. We're accepting something without questioning it, in other words, to put it clearly. Of something in the absence of reason. We haven't reasoned it. Is this true? Is this real? We've accepted it on fact. We accept that we are this person. From our peers tell us, you're Bob, you're Australian, you're a good fella. You're not so good.

You're had a bad childhood. And they had those experiences you had. And you say, when you've taken on that belief that I am this person, I've had a bad childhood. I am unhappy. I am fearful. I am anxious. I am angry. But we've taken on the belief that you are this person from our parents. And never questioned it. And we think we're separate. Because as soon as there's one, there's got to be the other. The opposite. Other. Other than me. And that's how we've taken on board and believed it. Now they seem different to patterns, shapes and forms. And they are different, patterns, shapes and forms expressing.

But they're only appearances. And in that one separation, what are you looking for when you're looking for a partner? You're looking for something that will gel with that resonation within you. And realise it is that oneness. But we still take the separateness of it. And it becomes relative from that point of view. And that's relationship. It's relationship relative to. Relative to something. Related to it. And that's duality. Always and ever in this duality. But there is a way out. And it's been pointed to us all along the way. Just a little bit of investigation into these beliefs. Investigation into thoughts, ideas and concepts and come up and see for yourself.

And you realise you are that one. You can't separate yourself. We are this body. Mind you believe. Well are you the body? And you know innately, you know you're not the body. You say my body. Well if you were the body, wouldn't you say I body? But innately you know you're not because you say my body. Whose body is it? And instead of investigating further, you take it to be this conceptual images body. Me, Bob the Australian, it's my body. The conceptual images body. It's not the one body that's expressing in different pattern shapes and forms as everything. Take it to be the personal. And the word persona, the mask, comes from an ancient language.

And they told you then what it was when they were using it in that ancient language. It's a mask. A mask of concepts. Images. And they tell you in the scriptures thou shalt not make unto thyself any graven images. And people think oh they worship these stone idols and cats and all sorts of things and worship them. We shouldn't do that. No. You don't have to do that. And you don't have to work the images you engrave in your head. I am this Bob, this Australian, this unhappy, this person that's having a bad trot, this immature or sick or whatever concept I've got about myself and what concept I have about the other.

I've got an image about them and we're worshiping that image. I don't like him. He's terrible. He's the devil. Or he's this that and the other. We don't say that. We know it's something we don't like or don't want or the ones we do like we want. Constantly forming these graven images. What do they mean by graven? They're engraved in our heads as concepts. They're made real. Get what I'm saying and ask yourself this. Is there any need for me to do this? Any need for this to happen? Where's it got me by doing this? Here I am 20, 30 years of age and I'm having all these psychological problems, fears, anxiety, stressors, guilt, shame, remorse and unhappiness.

Why? When they tell you it's non-conceptual, ever fresh presence awareness. It's existence, consciousness, being, knowing and loving to be. It is the natural living love that everything is. Everything loves to be. And you yourself are loving to be. But while you're relating to the person it doesn't happen. And it won't happen because you're trying to acquire or get something that you already are. And that's what makes it impossible. You can't get what you already are. Know that I am that. That that appears as everything else. The same that is what I am. As Moses realised on the mountain. I am that I am. I am that I am that I'm looking for.

Investigate the so-called person and see if you are an individual. If you are a separate entity. We seem separate from the things around you and the around us. But when you realise it's that one essence, patterning, shaping, forming, experiencing and expressing through everything. Can you, expressing through that pattern, express as everything? You can't. But what needs to be recognised through that pattern and expressed through that pattern will happen. And the other, the next pattern next you will express in a different way. The tree is expressing as a tree. You can't express as that. You can't express it as a flower. You can't express it as other things.

So each pattern is a unique expression. Expressing as the one life essence that is expressing through everything. Take that life out of the body and what have you got? You've got a corpse before it rots. Now a corpse has got eyes, it's got ears, it's got heart, it's got lungs, it's got all the organs, kidneys, all the organs, everything in it. Just the same as what it's got now. But there's no life essence functioning through it. What can it do? We think we're running the show from this reference point, this ego. I think this and I can work it out in the mind. What can it do without that life essence?

You couldn't take a single breath, you couldn't beat a heart, you couldn't have a single thought, feeling or emotion without it. Good analogy is like the computer. Computer's got a lot of information in it. Hell of a lot. But if you haven't got the power turned on, what information are you going to get out of it? Nothing whatsoever. So it's not a bit of good without that life essence, the electricity or the energy running through it. Just the same as you're not a bit of good without that life essence. What are you? The instrument which it's patterning, expressing through, is that all it is? Is it a pattern, shape and form, an instrument if you like to call it that?

Or are you the essence that's patterning, shaping, forming and expressing through it as that and though you don't recognise or understand that expressing as everything else in this manifestation. My body. Break the body down and see. The body's nothing but elements. Air, earth, fire, water and space. Just like the elements are in. Separate yourself from those elements if you can. You can't. Stop breathing. Stop drinking water. They're all elements. Stop the body temperature. That's an element. Heat. You can't. You can't separate yourself from those elements. When you say my self, instead of saying it's one self only the one, we've taken it to be the personal self.

As soon as we put that my self on it, me is my self, it realises there is only one self. One self. It's the one self experiencing, patterning, expressing as everything. So it's that self that is the awareness. But it can't express unless it has another pattern to express through it. So it's formed the body and the thinking process to express through it. It's the one self that's seeing. It's the same thing. It's the one self that's hearing. It's the one self that's thinking. It's the one self that's fearing as every other shape and form in this manifestation. Know the self and the self will set you free.

We think we've got to understand or know this personal self. The personal self doesn't exist. That ego that we've related to it is a fiction. It always has been and always will be. We've been on the path for years. We've been looking this way and looking that way, looking every other way. Done all sorts of things. I did it myself. Sixteen years before I got to the Sagadatta. And I saw then that I wasn't this body or wasn't this mind. But those habit patterns that had been accrued didn't drop off immediately. The seeing through it was immediate. And the thoughts and habit patterns would come up.

But once you recognise something is false, can you ever get the same belief into it again? The same intensity. It might come up. You might be entrapped with it for a little while. Come up spontaneously out of habit. But the innate intelligence is going to say, hang on. I saw through this the other day. Was I seeing it correctly or was it true? And everybody around you is going to reinforce that belief which they have all along because they've never looked at it themselves. 99.9% of the world is functioning from that separate entity, that individual, that persona. And they can easily suck you back into it again.

Because your parents, your schools, the kids around you suck you back into it. Everybody does that if you start to get a taste of it. But recognising it, standing firm in it and get the firm conviction that you are that one essence, who the hell can drag you out of it then? Even when it's coming out of your mouth and all that thing. You know it's not so anymore. Who can drag you out of it? Nobody can. And people will see the change in you. The change will be in your face and the light in your eyes and the way you speak and the way you think and all the rest of it.

And people will get to resonate with that because everybody is looking for it. And they'll notice that. And they'll come to you and know what you've got. Just the same as Nisargadatta with a thousand or more people walking past his door every day. Most of them wouldn't have a clue he was there or who or what he was. But just by sitting there, people would find their way to him from all over the world. I found my way to him. I'd never heard of him but it took me there. That innate essence that wanted to be recognised and wanted to keep coming up and took me through the booze and everything else.

All the shit I went through where I didn't believe in anything at all. It made me look into stuff and questions and see for myself. And so I didn't go into just the whole scripture and take them blindly anymore because I didn't believe in it. I looked at them and each one took me a little bit further. And took me to Nisargadatta after sixteen years. And all that discipline dropped off me. But the old habits still come up occasionally. I play around occasionally. But one end of the stick is not preferable to the other end. If they're coming up, they are that also. They are that.

And they might be patterning and expressing that way for a certain reason. Like they did a lot of times when all the shit went on. They always took me a little bit further. And it still does if it's necessary to. The stabilisation in it and the conviction where nobody can knock you off that person. No matter how bad you might feel or how they do it. But the good and bad are just concepts we put on it. Nothing here to good or bad but thinking makes it so. Like the same little talk about the one ended stick. There's no one ended stick. Each stick's got two ends to it.

But you can grab hold of the thin end and might play around with that for a while. And then the thick end will come up. You'll like that or whatever. One end will come up. And you'll go there and the other end will come up. But they're both the one. And they both are constantly vibrating to each end. Like your mind. The so-called thoughts. Good, bad, pleasant, faithful, happy, sad, loving, hating. Where do they meet? Where's the balance? In the centre. Like the north and south pole. Where's the balance? At the equator. And they know that when they put that term. Equator. It's equate. Equal.

Where the equilibrium is. And it's not going to stay in the equilibrium forever. It's going to move. And that's the way the functioning goes. Look at nature. Take your leaf from nature. Day, night, winter, summer. Past, future, pleasant, painful, happy, sad. Constantly vibrating in the opposites. And could there be a manifestation if it didn't? If it was the cognising which it is constantly and there was no conceptualising or no patterning, shaping, forming, going on. What would it be? Very ordinary, very boring. What would be the point of life? Or recognising the beauty in it or the ugliness, the peace in them all. If it wasn't vibrating in the opposites.

Is damaged by it if you do go into the opposites. If you go into the things you don't like. You go into the illnesses, the pains, the fear. What is damaged? Only when it's related to me. Related to that. Let it come. Let it go. Might be uncomfortable. Might be unhappy with it. I might moan and whinge about it. Cry about it. But there's an absolute certainty that it's going to change. Just the same as the clouds appear in the sky and seemingly cover the sky. But the sky, the sun is never obscured by any cloud that ever appeared in it or ever liked to appear.

It blights it out for us. We don't recognise the sun. And when you look at that and reason it and look into it instead of accepting it blindly and say what forms these clouds? What forms have investigated? And you'll see there's nothing but the sun itself that forms the cloud. And all the sun does is radiate heat and then that radiation it evaporates water. A natural thing for it to do. Evaporates water. The water rises and condenses. You can't see it in that seeming immediate evaporation before that evaporation. Steam comes into steam. Comes into steam or it condenses a little and the cold is going on it and forms a cloud.

That's all it is. A cloud forms of a condensing evaporated water. And that cloud will come and bring it down as rain. It'll condense a little further and that rain has become water. Less subtle than the steam itself or the cloud. And it'll come a bit smaller when it forms an ice from seemingly solid. So it's a one essence just like thoughts, feelings and emotions. And the subtle essence will become the feeling and the emotion will become pain and emotion in the body. And they're all based on the one essence. They're all in the same thing. It's functioning in the same way as the clouds and the sun are functioning.

Everything functions in the same way. Look at it. In reality nothing has ever happened. And when people can say I am that nothing and the Sargaday points it out as it vibrates. When I know I am that nothing. That's the wisdom. That's the knowing. True knowing. When I know that I am everything, that is love. That is the love of being. Being, knowing and loving to be. In that loving to be everything is in that beingness. And how can you do anything else but love it? Even if you don't mightn't like it. You've got to realise that's how it's expressing. You might do what comes about to change it if you can but you can't change it.

But we as these functioning entities think we're going to change the world. Less than a grain of sand we appear in this universe. A universe made up of only the one that's not divided. We're less than a grain of sand that we think we're going to change it. It's like an ant crawling up an elephant's leg with intent to rape. Gonna have a bad job. Slugger. Recognise this entity. It's a fiction. I mean go on. Get into it. Question it. Tell us about it. Somebody who understood. Explain it. Express it. I am that. Work out what was the sense I am. And always looking for it.

Trying to work out what it is. Never found it. It occurred to me recently that awareness there is only awareness. And there's not a and I'm thinking that there's awareness and there's the sense of I am. There's something separate. But what's dawned on me is that the fact that there is awareness, inherent in being aware is I am. The sense I am. Correct. That's the I am-ness. You know, you've been looking for a sense of what is I am-ness. I tell you every time. The sense of presence translates to the thought I am. It's the sense of presence that translates. So when he says stay with that I am-ness he's not staying with the thought, but the concept.

With that sense of can you negate that presence? It's always been with you all the way through. We haven't noticed it. He's being aware of being aware. He's being aware of awareness. But there's no content to that awareness. That's right. Exactly. You are that awareness. You're not being aware. You can't. Are you unaware? No. There must be aware. So it's there. When we try to put a concept on as he says, you try to grasp it with a concept and you fail. And he says you're bound to fail. Because no concept can ever grasp it. It's non-conceptual. Ever fresh presence awareness. I tell you in Buddhism, one of the things in Buddhism, non-conceptual ever fresh presence awareness.

You can't grasp it with a concept. So you don't have to work it out in the mind to put thought on it. And when he says three years for him you've got to understand this. For him he didn't believe in anything. He hadn't looked into it. He'd given away Hinduism and everything. He wouldn't look at anything. And the bloke offered him to go to his guru, etc. and the rest of it. Well he didn't want to go. But from bare nothing, not knowing anything to recognise it, it only took him three years for that. So he didn't have all this shit to get rid of.

He had to take it on. Something he didn't look at and it took him three years of recognising that sense of presence whenever he had. And he said whenever I've got time I look into it again and see it again and again whenever I can. When other thoughts are going on. Now most of us have got all this other shit to get rid of and go through it. It might seem to take us a bit longer. And then others going through a lot of this shit have got a bit of a taste of it at times. Instead of clinging on to it. Some of us get involved.

That's the trouble. We meditate for years and we seem to be getting closer. And somebody comes along and tells you look into it. Oh no I'm not going to let it go on. That's close now. I'll get it in the next meditation. But they don't. Because they've so got a vested interest now in the seeking. A vested interest. I'm a seeker and I've been seeking constantly earnestly. Now I'm going to become a finder. But there is no becoming. It's only being. Is there any a time when you are not being? That sets you to an end. Being, knowing and loving to be. Any time you're not knowing or unaware.

Awareness is another name for cognising or knowing. Just another label we put on the same term. There is another trap. I had the funny story, the conversation from some friends who actually, as you say, you couldn't find the being. They were told by some books that there is no consciousness. That there is no being. So they sit in the meditation. They think Bob is wrong and he needs to be destroyed publicly because he says that there is a being. Obviously they never closed their eyes and really checked. But they are not about checking. They are about being right and following the books. So in the books it's written that consciousness doesn't have inherent existence.

Rather than just closing their eyes and saying, okay, is there I am? No, there is no I am. Is there a consciousness? No, there is no consciousness. What is there? Nothing. Okay, fine. So you are that nothing. If that's good enough, instead of going for a crusade and destroying someone who believes in I am or believes in being or consciousness or existence, just really going with the experience and just experientially figure out is there existence or not? If the answer is not, fine. Okay, go with that not. If the existence is there, fine. Go with that there. Because this is where the shoe meets the road.

This is because I see people who, and we had one coming here on the meetings also, who was so much invested in the head and in the theory that he read on all different paths. That's the cat. That's the cat. It's just moving his bowl. The bowl is a big boat. That people assume that they know what is pointing. They assume that they know what Nisargadatta meant. And Nisargadatta was wrong because he was saying I am. So because they sit in the head, they think they know what somebody else is pointing because they hear the words. And they don't get it like when Bob says that word is not the thing.

So when someone says I am, your mental image of what I am is would be different than the mental image Nisargadatta had. And perhaps Nisargadatta is exactly pointing to the same inherent existence of consciousness. But he's using different words. But people who are unwilling to verify it experientially will go and try and destroy him because he is wrong and they are right even though they never spend a minute checking it out. So would you say that suddenly down on you that no, there is no I am but awareness is all there is. Even awareness doesn't have inherent existence but there is paradoxically there is the awareness of being.

There is an awareness of when Bob says that consciousness is the awareness aware of its existence or just awareness of existence. So whatever name we call it is just the immediacy of this moment. You kind of shut yourself out from the distraction and see that there is something that you cannot this, how do you call it like take away from the experience. Something is still there. I mean it's not a thing. But something is left. Not a thing. But yeah, something is left. When you read non-duality books there are a lot of terms that get used and like the sense I am, the thought I am, consciousness, the absolute.

And I think maybe I've got too many concepts in my head and I'm slowly just breaking them down as they go. But just to dawn on me that the sense I am is inherent in being aware and not to look for anything else besides that was a breakthrough. Absolutely. The non-conceptual awareness. Awareness without even a word I am. Without even a translation like Bob says, it's a translation of the sense of presence translated by the thought because there is this habit of translating everything all the time. Unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected. It gets really pointed to if there's just, and when it gets when it says just stay with the I am all it's referring to is the presence.

That's all. But we name that by I am. So if one is just staying with that sense of presence the seeking, if you want to call it that, gets really, really, really laser pointed. That's all that's going on. There's no longer any interest in what might be floating through the mind in terms of thoughts. Or, you know, am I getting closer or am I getting this or what do I need to do, what do I need to let go of, what do I need to understand that I haven't yet understood. That's all just thought. And eventually if you stay with the I am which is literally just, it doesn't mean stay with the words I am which is just a concept.

As soon as I am springs up, there's separation. It's a concept, I am. As soon as that springs up that's the beginning of the separation. But if you just, if you understand what that is actually pointing to, that I am, what it's pointing to because it's just a pointer. Staying with the I am is just a pointer. But it's a lot better pointer when you get there than sitting there and watching the nightmare that goes on in your head. Like really, you know. So it gets really, really laser pointed and the idea is just stay with that presence. The I am is purely presence. Non-conceptual.

No, you're not analyzing. You're no longer analyzing that sense of presence or what is this sense of presence. And initially even when we sit with that sense of presence compared to what we normally do with thoughts it can seem quite bland. What's the point? What's the big deal? Like it can seem that way. Yeah, there's nothing to focus your attention on. Yeah, that's right. It's kind of like, yeah, of course I am. I'm in the I am and I'm present. Now what? But because there's still that idea of yeah, you know, of course I'm here and of course I'm present and now what? That very sentence removes you from being absolutely sitting in that presence.

It's like, I'm in the I am and I'm present. So the only thing that will heal that split or the only that seeming split or the only thing that will heal that non-dual way that we function and believe ourselves to be is abiding in that presence. Even if the thought comes up, this is boring. Ignore that. Like literally just completely ignore that. Ignore that. And just abide in that presence. That's the only thing that heals, if you like, the seeming split. And I say seeming. Because there isn't one. Yeah. It's just abiding there. And leave the rest alone. Where can you go out of it?

I say abiding in it when you realize you can't get out of it. You've never been out of it. You're not going to get out of it. You're not going to get out of it. You're not going to get out of it. You're not going to get out of it. You've never been away from it. But because I'm lost in it, I think that even saying, abide there, is wrong. It's a pointer. It's purely just a pointer. Whatever we say about this, you know, you can't... You are there. So you can't practice abiding there. You actually are there. But it's just being aware of that and staying with that, if you like.

And there's no one there to stay with it either. It just emanates all the objects which are thoughts. You know? And there's another pointer which I like, is the emptiness. You know, that everything appears in. That's been coming up lately. The emptiness. You know? There's been a lot going on here lately, and around here. And it's just been so beautiful. And it's just been so beautiful. I'm just using words here. It's just been so beautiful to feel that emptiness. Like, I don't know, it's so hard to use words sometimes, but it's just been a joy. And yet, everything that's been going on around me has been up and down and round and all sorts of weird stuff has been going on.

And yet, you know, I know and it's only using words, that I'm the emptiness. And that's been such a joy. And yet, there's been all this stuff going on. I am the cyclone and everything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And other people are going, but you know, how do you do this, that? And I go, I'm just the emptiness. You know, that's it. When you're thinking, I'm out of it, are you? Yeah, but that's it. It's only the mind that will say, I've got an example of that, because when I was driving here, I was coming along on the freeway, and I remember there's a speed camera coming up.

And I said, I've got to make sure I'm under the limit when I go past that speed camera. And the next moment, I was already five kilometres past that speed camera and I think it looked at, was I under the limit? But the thing is, to me, I was only present before, the moment before and then later on. So I was lost in time, but lost in thought. What an example. The next time the sentence comes up, but because I'm thinking all the time, stop there. Don't add some assessment to it, what that means, some blanket thing, this is not true, just stop with that, and then see if there's a relaxation.

It could also be expressed as a shift of attention. Yeah. Really, a shift of attention. All the conceptuality, all the thoughts, all the ideas, all the racket that goes on in our mind, and shifting that attention just to that presence. And leave the rest, because there's no answer in the rest. Absolutely. Like zero. You've normally got to exhaust that to really know it. You kind of get to a point where you go, the answer's not in there. It's not in there. It's not there. But it gets used for a while. Like, it's got to be, you kind of use the mind for a while to eventually realize, oh, that doesn't work.

Yeah. Yeah, and then that just kind of gets dropped, if you like, and there's a, I've even referred to it as a 180, like it's being, and it just naturally happens, there's just more of an interest in presence. And it just happens. Because it becomes a total disinterest in anything else. Yeah. Which is a turnaround, because we're always interested in Objectivity. Objects, drama, everything that's outside. And to sit down and just abide, as you say, it doesn't sound that exciting, you know. And that's just the mind that says that. And then what you've got to do is go, yeah, thanks for sharing. Go away, and sit anyway.

And see what happens. See what happens. Because it's only the mind that interprets this sense of beingness, if you like, as, eh. But in the pure absence of the, in the real pure absence of the mind, something else is discovered. And then what you've got to do is say, there is no mind anyway. You know, it is, it's always absence. It's only the concepts of the peer that make it so. And also what Tony said, I think it's really worthy of highlighting, because, you know, once you notice that you were only present for five minutes, and then you lost the presence, some sort of a natural sadness comes up, or disappointment, or all sorts of different feelings that follow up.

And that's just another train of thought that is taking you away from that presence. So the important thing is to stop there, or to just handle off the credit. That's the consciousness. Consciousness shifted. I didn't do it. I didn't go to the thought. I didn't forget what I was supposed to be present and alert to. The consciousness just kind of, and then when you see the way this torchlight, Tony uses that, torchlight just moving elsewhere, you know, just looking at this and this, present, past, future, whatever. This is just a habitual behavior of that biocomputer there in the head. You're not doing it. Because it feels like this is me, and I'm on the path, and I want to, I'm trying to be more present and more alert, and I'm doing a bad job, and I'm worthless, and I'm not even deserving.

That's the whole different inner dialogue. That's still narrative self trying to keep you engaged, trying to keep you identified. So whenever that, even, because I remember from my own experience, that was really a big one, to beat myself up for not rising to my own standards of being 100% alert all the time, which is totally impossible. If you look at the animals, they can't, you know, it doesn't really happen this way. It's the, attention travels, it moves, it moves from different senses, it moves to thinking. That's what it does. And I'm not doing it, you're not doing it. It's the consciousness playing out. But taking credit and putting the demands is very often, like Bob often says, the seeking is the problem.

The seeker is the problem. Once you see that this is all just a play, nobody does it, you're already looking at it from the perspective of emptiness or space. The awareness or the cognizing emptiness. Emptiness aware of the movement of the attention in the space. It gets much, it gets quieter too. Like a whole lot quieter when you're just abiding in that presence. It gets quieter. Or if you're like, the seeking, the seeker, the seeker, gets much more quiet. Because that's all the attention is on anymore. Instead of attention being on thoughts. What's wrong with me? Why can't I get this? What do I need to do?

Blah blah blah blah. All that. Which is just noise. I've noticed that with like Douglas Harding's Headless Way when you focus on the nothing here, everything sort of loses its interest and there is that quietness and stay there. So just in. Like really. And My silence seems My emptiness is full. Love it. So interesting. Beautiful. Another way to because the Headless Way when you actually focus on the fact that there is no one, there is no face, there is no, nothing here really. Another way is to, because we so habitually focus in the head, the energies all around here. Is to just see if you can focus the attention on the heart instead.

And then just basically with that drop the attention there and just kind of vacate the head if possible. It may be not possible at some points. Just kind of feels warm a little bit now there around. Okay. There is attention goes there. And then the attention goes there fully. There is nothing there in the head. Because when you start you kind of look from the head what's going on in the heart. Or in Zen paths they actually focus on the gut. On the belly. Yes. Just because that's the action center and they keep it still. When the action center is still, you're in the middle of the paradox.

And then the attention first again you look from the head down there. Oh yeah what's going on down there. But if you persist in that stillness, the head drops off. So whatever works. But the headless way is beautiful. I find it really beautiful and really simple because the realization is in an instant. You just look back. Oh fuck nothing there. And that's it. And you never notice. Yeah. And you can do it thousand times a day. Just in a split moment when the thought arises to check what's behind your face there's always nothing. It's all about still eliminating confusion and wrong beliefs. And that's what's happened to me.

Like I said the sense I am I thought was something different from awareness. And then it's just like hang on. Because I'm aware I have to be there has to be an I am to be aware. And I know that's a pretty simple understanding but I really got it. Whatever works. Simple as it is. It's like you say just start with the fact of your own being and don't add anything else. That's it. Full stop. Because it's just everything else. I am that I think it's about 570 pages of a book and you're reading it and you're picking up stuff. You don't want to be picking up stuff.

You just want to be throwing away stuff. The real message of that book is on the front cover. Yes. I am that. Leave the rest. Throw the other 500 pages away. No I don't mean that literally. But someone coming to that they're saying that I am that. Well what does that mean? So they've got to read the 500 pages to understand. But they don't need to know the concept. Hopefully get to the end of the 500 pages. Close the book and read the front cover and go oh there it was. Some great pointers in there. Oh yeah it's beautiful. Beautiful. Some great stuff that Masaaka Dan was doing there.

When he read What's Wrong With Right Now If You Don't Think About Me he said it's all there. You don't have to read the book. In the title. Absolutely. That's right. My experience is you know those two things people mentioned which I've forgotten what they are now but for me there's a third one like I'd read about a page and a half and then something would show up, a block or a belief and then that would be like it just had to sink down the book would be put down and it would sink and things would dissolve and go away and sometimes I could see very specifically the details of the blocks most times I can that's just a part of the package in those times and eventually because I was going to so many meetings I'd just put the book on the cafe table and then I'd just go out from somewhere anyway from the environment and memory or whatever and that thing would percolate and things would dissolve and the book would never get picked up so for a few weeks the book wasn't even picked up so I'd probably read about 30 pages or something but only ever that much or that much at a time Yeah Yeah because there was always checking in to experience has always been a thing here in this particular page like I'd go out and get a lot of information and there would be a checking in and that would be the last thing that would happen before an action so it just happened to be the pattern here so yeah for some it's not a problem Yeah it's definitely you can't read too much of it It's not like a novel you can't read too much of it in one hit it's not like a novel we can just accumulate the knowledge and say okay I know So it just depends how things disappear I used to like to and I still do sometimes I have Bob's book on my bedside table and I have Ryan Matt on my bedside table I have Escape to Everywhere by Paul Hedeman on my bedside table I have Riva Gita on my bedside table and Heavy people sleeping alone Yeah they're not very big and so what I do I just look at that pile and something attracts me to one of them and I just open it and where it falls I just put my finger and I just read that one thing and it's just usually wow and I just put it down and go to sleep Beautiful Even the idea or the notion of I am that eventually drops you don't have to walk around for example you don't have to walk around all day every day every second of the day saying I am to know that you are No, no, that's right So does the thought verbalise?

Yes If you're knowing that I am without the thought it verbalises Walking around every day is never obscured It's just a presence So the I am is still a pointer but eventually that drops There's confusion and as before the sense I am, the thought I am they're not the same thing No, they're totally not the same thing Description is not to describe confusion and I think a lot of people who hadn't read it closely and see the subtlety of it they would be lost and they're focusing on the thought I am and that's not where the attention is That's what I mean by eventually the thought I am will drop You don't need to be going I am, I am to know that you are but at least it keeps you pointed the whole like it's a great point I am if you can just stay with the I am because it just keeps your laser pointed It's still a pointer but eventually it will dawn on you I don't need to be saying I am, I am I don't need to be saying I am because I am Whenever I've not been thinking about it Whenever I've not been thinking about it I've never ever seen a sense of I am or anything else like that either It's less singular than that It's just this stuff and it's just a thing and it's just a thing and it's just a thing No conceptualisation whatsoever occurring It's just unbounded So a sense of I am doesn't even make sense here I've never witnessed anything like that And just being a witness to those points is just no pointing from No thing I am sitting in there There's been no conceptual I And there's been no un-conceptual I am No sensory I am thing in there It's just a concept Just stuff So I think that can be misleading too, if you happen to have not seen it every time you look.

Because it's not, well I think anyway, I don't know, I haven't really had permanent states of, because here the mind comes in so quickly all the time. So you know, I'm waiting until, you know, there's longer periods of not having stuff come in. Or I'll comment further, but you know, just the momentary drops, which can happen many hundred times a day, or twice a day if I'm watching too much Asian Netflix. Yeah, but I've never seen the sense of it. But it never stopped though, the thinking just... Was it? The thinking never stopped. Yeah, it's just, I guess over time the meta complaints ceased. There's still like that stuff that Kat was all describing before, like that whole, I got that whole rafting stuff she was describing before, about being a useless non-dualist and all that.

Still get little bits of that coming in, even if it's not enough to be a fully formed thought, even if it just, the feeling side of it flashes in, the notion of knowing what it's about flashes in. Okay, I forgot what I was talking about. There's a Buddhist monk, I don't know if you know, Ajahn Brahm, he's actually based in Perth. When he teaches meditation, he actually teaches you to devalue your thoughts. If you don't put much value on them, they tend not to come true. They tend not to come off as much, because what you're thinking about is not important. Yeah, I think there's a natural abstraction here anyway, so that one's not too much of a...

That's always been quite a... works quite well here anyway, and especially like, first year I was here, because Kat can talk quite abstractly about things, and also quite visually with her hands, and because I'm very visual and abstract, that no content being superior to any other content is quite an available one for me anyway. But yeah, I've found that to be very useful. Pointing away. Yeah. Like what Bob says, when he says, are you aware? As a pointer, you know, so often I'll be, you know, something will be going, you know, the head will start having a go at some young, current word that's not pulling his weight.

And I'll often, am I aware? And just, that's it. You know, the mind actually does it by itself. Yeah. It sort of slows itself, and then it just, you know, helps for me anyway. That just helps me to just come back and carry on. Cognising emptiness. Yeah, I just come back and carry on. I don't have to do anything else with it. It's just am I aware? And Bob, when he says that, it just takes the... And yeah, that's exactly what the idea of staying with the I am. That's right. Yes. That's right. Same, different point of it. I just recognise, oh, caught. Not just something that's...

Whereas I trip up on both those corners, so yes, we're interesting in that different way. Yeah, different way of resonating with different people. I am is just a way of confirming your being. Anyone who's not being right now can yet not be. It's ridiculous really, isn't it? That we even have to go through the process of sitting with the I am. What else would you be? Like, where else could you be? But we have to, we have to... That's totally just your head, isn't it? Those of us that are lucky enough to come across it through people like Bob or the Sober Data or whoever.

Yeah, those of us that are lucky enough can be grateful. For 40 years, I thought I was an individual. And then, really, I would have gone to my death thinking I was. And it was only when I came across these types of topics that I think, hang on, I need to look at this again. Good. Because that you're not doing. But I haven't gone through the process of it, but I don't feel like it's ever gonna be like that. Like I haven't thought that I would leave on the red carpet like I was. But it's always gonna come back. Yeah, but I like the idea that we're here.

It's that. It's just... thinking I was. And it was only when I came across these types of topics that I thought, hang on, I'll need to look at this again. Good. I'm not on a path. I'm not something on a path. No, no. As Bob says, something drew you to it. Yeah, it's great. And what was that something that drew you to it? I forget. Good. Keep investigating. Stepping stones, I think. It's like the old saying that when the student is ready to teach you all at the end. That's exactly right. And the stumbling block is nine miles an hour to take him away. And also what is really beautiful and important about this one is what you did, Justin.

You actually explained very, very well from the personal perspective what was in the way. Bob may forget that shit. 43 years is a long time. But for you, when that one drops, and you report it right now, I think that will be more precious pointer for people who are going to watch it on YouTube than any of the expired portions. That's the first time I've come. Every time I come, I'm meeting about 25 times. And sometimes I just got to make up a question to say something. I feel like it's something that's superficial. But I've actually come here today with something like this. This is huge.

It's an answer. Yeah, this is like what you said in the lasers. This is amazing. And it's interesting when the questions stop arising. You know, it's interesting. You go, wow. I haven't got a single question. And you go, wow. Oh, that's what happened here. You stop seeking. You just bomb beyond the need for further help. That's what that means. Yeah. You're right here with the truth of your own being. Nothing needs clarification. Everything is just as it is. So what would you want to ask? Because people come and ask, how to make my life better? Yeah. How do I use it to manifest? It's all about attainment though.

It's getting something. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. If I try to learn something, then that's obviously one of the first things that needs to be understood. Same, yeah. It's learning what you're not. Or there's a learning of what you're not. Or alternatively, you might have all the goal posts. And you don't have any more questions. But there's still a bunch of stuff coming up. And it just has to start with deeper and deeper. So. Like, you know, I probably didn't have any questions really after, you know, most of the year or a few months or whatever. But there's still so much coming in as I move along.

So. Yeah. Um. That's right. And yeah, very few questions after that. What I've noticed in most of the meetings when you leave here, there's definitely, I know it sounds cliche, there's a resonance in the room. You definitely feel like, gee, I feel different. And, uh, like I can see things clearer. Yeah. That's right. People say, why do you still go? I don't know. Like, it's funny. I don't know what I'm saying. But, I try to satsang after all these years. And I go. To be in the company of others who know who they truly are is, is wow for me. It's right here. You know.

It sort of brings tears to my eyes, really. That's all about the present. Definitely got my $20 worth now. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I tell you it's a hundred dollars entry today. You can come back again. Thank you. And it will be worth more than that for those who watch it. Yeah, I hope so. The stream has been working. We made a funny noise before I thought I had stopped. Yeah, I did that first again. And we uploaded on YouTube in the afternoon. I know, I watch it all the time. Yeah, it's funny way this works, you know.

It's just that sometimes, like, there is absolutely no rule according to the research that has been eventually done after, I don't know, lifetime of human history. Which says that there is absolutely no rule and no even statistically discovered pattern through which one stops being a seeker and become finder. There's no rule to what is going to shift who and how. For some people it is a rule. For some people it is instant awakening. For some people it is depression just tipping over that amygdala or whatever. For some people it is slowly dropping off of the who am I not. For yet some people it may be just one right pointer.

A lot of people sabotage themselves by putting a messenger up on the throne and deciding not to listen to anyone else. Because only Bob is the enlightened. The birds that are singing out there, they're not. The pointers that are everywhere. Once you know what you're looking for, there is nothing that is not that. Except the number one. Pissed. The red cat. No, because he's above all this. I think he thinks he is. He doesn't think, he knows. Thank you. I'm amazed to hear that. Pointer. Yes, so, I think that's the point. I think that's the point. Pointer. Yes, so if people are really open and really ripe and really ready, then the pointer coming up from three year old child may be much, much more direct and shifting than the pointer coming up from someone who they have the conceptual image as the holy saint or enlightened.

Someone who doesn't fart, of course, and all that other. Because those concepts, they also have to go. They are not a trite. There you go. A definition came up for me last night actually about shift of attention. And I'll repeat it. It just came up. I'll repeat it because I thought it was quite good. Shed it with cat and she laughed. So there's a carpenter up on a roof nailing away and putting pieces of wood together. I'm not a carpenter so I'm not even using the right terminology. But there's wooden nails and a hammer. And he's up on the roof and he's going to put a piece of wood together.

And he's up on the roof and he's going to put a piece of wood together. And he's up on the roof and he's nailing stuff together. And he's been a carpenter all his life so pretty much he just runs on automatic. He doesn't even have to be thinking too much about what he's doing. A bit like when you drive a car. And he's completely, totally consumed by a conversation he had with his wife last night. He's completely, totally consumed by a conversation he had with his wife last night. The conversation he had with his wife last night was that he discovered that his wife's been having an affair.

And he's devastated by it. He's just totally, and he's angry about it, and grief-stricken about it, and revengeful about it, and just all this inner turmoil that's going on in his head. And he's just completely absorbed by the news. And he's hammering away. And all of a sudden, you know, he goes, bang! To hit the nail. And he hits his thumb. And splatters his thumb. Like, splatters his thumb. Immediately that that happens, there's a complete shift of attention. He's no longer thinking about all that story that was going on, and the attention is bang, straight here, and there's pain, and there's... That's a shift of attention.

However, then what we normally do, is we miss the presence of that. And then what we would normally do is, then we go, Jesus Christ, now I've got to smash thumb, and that bitch is responsible for it. But in that moment, in that absolute moment, it all stops. And it does. It completely stops. If you like, it's just a... Are you advocating it as a practice? No. But I am will do. It's a lot softer than... Yeah. I'll never forget once when I was working in Bob and Barbara's health food store. I hurt my thumb, and Bob was there and goes, just watch it. Just watch it.

It's only a sensation. Just watch it. So that's actually important too. That happened to me on the weekend, or when I was up on Mount Buffalo a couple of days ago, and I was hiking. I was on my own. The ground was a little bit wet, and I slipped and sprained my left ankle. And there was just a... There was no separation. There was no separation from the sensation, the happening. It just all was. There was no separation of, oh my God, shit, what, you know. And the body just stopped and held the ankle. And the sensation just kind of, the energy of it just reverberated and reverberated and got less and less and less and less.

And there was just a staying with that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was wondering, hmm, I wonder if some damage has been done. I wonder, you know, if there'll be pain with walking. And very reluctantly, the body got up and just put some pressure on the foot. I was like, oh, it's gone. The pain's just, it's just dissipated, you know. And I was wondering to myself, had there been resistance and a separation in that, that somehow energy... Or they felt, energetically, that contraction in that part of the body that creates some kind of block. Yeah. Potentially a little more pain and difficulty, you know.

That's right. And it can, there's nothing, like, yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, just conflict. Yeah. And conflict is disease. Yeah. Amazing. And then every time, the parent rushes to the kid and, you know, gives them a big hug, and you're totally free, you know, or it's another thing. Trying on new pants, you know, your eeny then me car, oh, are you daydreaming your head Yeah, we say that the power of belief is not in thoughts and there is no law of attraction, but at the same time we know that if we strongly believe in something to be truth, we find the evidence and we live as if it was truth.

So if you would have an absolute unquestioned certainty that you broke your leg, you could probably find it broken. Yeah. And the suffering that comes from the resistance, from the conflict, that point of shit, like that shouldn't have happened and that story that gets created around it is the divided state, the dividedness of self and then we need to be conflicted in order for that to be maintained. That's right, that's right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Oh. I'm seeing that so much in a friend that I've been hanging out with. There's a lot of that going on and it's, wow, it's like you can feel his pain.

Oh. Yeah. I feel so much compassion for him. Oh my God. Yeah. That was really interesting as well was I had driven up the mountain up to Lake Katani on, really early in the morning. Yeah. And I couldn't see anything. I got up there and it was so still and the lake was like glass and it was so beautiful. It was just so breathtakingly beautiful and I was just in that, just really appreciating and being there. And so when I went on a hike and I came back down, I had this idea in my mind that I wanted to take my mum and dad. Yeah.

Really early in the morning up Lake Katani the very next morning and we'll take, you know, tea and we'll sit there really early and we'll just appreciate nature, you know, together. So I had this idea in my head and I was kind of, I could see I was a little bit attached thinking that, you know, you know, you're getting older, you've got to challenge yourself with new experiences, right? It was really funny. So it's just, yeah, whatever. And my dad said, no, I'm not doing it. My mum said, oh, I'm not doing it. Yeah. So I did. I got up, took a thermos and, you know, went all the way up there and it was so funny because the weather was completely different.

It was freezing cold and it was windy and the lake was turbulent. And, you know, and I was sitting there. And we haven't fun yet. And it was just a great reminder and analogy of the chance. Yeah. Yeah. The changingness of the manifestation. Absolutely. So there was a real appreciation even in that weather, you know, the cold and chilly and the, yeah, that experience. Yeah. What a beautiful day. It was great. Yeah. And I went back down and said, I'm so glad she didn't come. Dad, you would have killed me, you know. Yeah. But yeah, how beautiful it is to see perfection in everything as it unfolds, even if things are not the way they should be.

Yeah. People pink but these are the things that can come out of nothing. You know what? Yeah. They, it's, there's more. But it's, it's not the, it's more work than it supposed to be. That's true. And that's the way my long life started, but hey, this one's where I live, still the way we prefer it for the moment. That's right. It's, it's a greater wisdom. It's a greater beauty. And you describe it is so perfectly. Love it. I wish you I wish you lived here. You do, yeah. Thanks mom. Thank you.