Sailor Bob - Non Duality - I didn't choose to be drunk - 23 10 2018

...the birds toys and stuff. Do you just want to hear it anyway, half the time? Yeah, yeah, it's good to hear it. Okay, we've started, so everyone knows each other? Or you remind the names? Names, yeah. I'm Cliff. Tony. Carl. Kieran. David. Simon. Robin. Yeah, and Bob Cut. And me. Me. I'll leave immediately. Yeah, leave the me out of the picture. Okay, so. Who are you taking? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm getting a lot of rubbish for this. Yeah, a lot of suggestions to just refuse to speak and wait until he opens his mouth. Well, you've got to take that for a start off. I don't care.

Well, if you don't care, don't be frightened at all. I'm not frightened. You know, it's quite clear what my function in life is at the moment, and it is to be here and do whatever's required, whatever's in front of me, whatever. Whether it is to wash the dishes. Or speak on the meeting if you don't want to do it. You're evil. Yeah, and then actually my mission, kind of self-acquired mission lately, is to find the little tricks how to make him talk. So I've learned a couple of tricks. One of them is asking questions personally, especially if it's a big group, and I ask, Bob, can you tell me?

Not everyone, but Bob, that he will. Yeah, you should be able to. So you can be a wake-up to your tricks now. Yeah. Yeah. I can make a choice. I'm actually, yeah. Please, yeah. I'm actually teaching people how to get him to speak because, you know. Actually, the best one, you went off and answered the door in the middle of an answer, and he had to take over. You're right. You're right. That was another little trick. Terry wasn't there. She went off and answered the door in the middle of an answer, and you had to take over. Yeah. She never mentioned that one. But yeah, good one.

That was the most effective one I saw. Maybe we should fire the doorman again. You're not meant to tell him what the tricks are. Oh, why not? Yeah, he's a... He's a fucking revolutionist. Yeah. He's a fucking revolutionist. Yeah. He's a fucking revolutionist. How else would I tell you guys? Chase one by one. Definitely pass this note. You're forgetting. Yeah. Airplane. I've been talking this for 40 years. Get a bit sick of it after a while. But I've only heard you for a couple of months. I've only heard you talk for a couple of months, so you've still got 39 years and a half. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it shouldn't take any one very long. I think it's pretty clear the way it's pointed out just a matter of recognizing it. See. The way we go through it in the spell without how it all seemingly happens. But nothing has ever happened. Nothing at all has ever happened, understand that? You and I are things. Everything. Every pattern, shape and form in this manifestation is a thing. They're all appearing on that space or emptiness, the no-thing. Oh, you don't have to be a Rhodes Scholar to work out can some thing come from no-thing?

So even though it's appearing as things, it's really no-thing. And again they tell you that the manifestation is Maya. It's illusion. All those things are illusionary pattern. A phenomenal manifestation. The definition of phenomena, look on your dictionary and see. It's that which appears to be. So you and I, the chairs, the table, the carpets and everything, the sun, the clouds and everything, and there's manifestation of appearances only. When you say that life is like a dream, a lot of people say, I've said down through the ages, life is like a dream. Well it is. What is an illusion, a dream, an illusion? How real is the dream when you wake up from it?

When was it ever real? When you wake up you don't realise you're waking to this dream that we're in now. This is the waking dream. Because this dream seemingly has a continuity. Each morning it seems to go on from where it left off yesterday. If the dream you dreamed at night carried on every night from where it left off, could you tell the difference between the two? Again you don't have to be too smart to work that out. It still appeared to me like so. You see. We must take the waking dream for the reality. Take the appearance to be real, and we attribute it to a me, or a personal self.

We're told it's all self aware, it's all self-knowing. We take it to be a personal self. But you look in your dictionary, the word person, persona, the mask. We've got this conceptual image, a mask. An image made up of the concept of a person persona, the mask. You look in your dictionary, the word person persona, the mask. an image made up of the concept of a person persona, the mask. ideas that we believe to be real. I'm Bob, a good fellow, not so good, I'm having a bad trip, I'm depressed, I'm unhappy. These aren't all these ideas or concepts you have about yourself. And we've reinforced them so much, and not only that but everybody around us is reinforcing them too.

Our parents are reinforcing them because they've never looked at this stuff. 99% of the people have never looked into the reality of the scriptures. They've taken and believed what they were told. That you're a person and you're a terrible sinner and you'll rot in hell and all these concepts they've put upon you. But are they true? Have a look, investigate. If there's no person and there's no duality, then you're a sinner. Where is heaven and where is hell? Who's going to rot in it if there's no person? But we labour under these beliefs. And as I say, everybody around us reinforces it. Saying you're not a good person or you're a bastard or you're no good or you're whatever.

And we take the belief on ourselves, oh after all I'm no good or I'm fearful or I'm anxious. I've had a bad childhood. And my parents treated me like this. And I've had a bad childhood. And I was bullied at school and all this crap we put on. Where is it now? What reality has it got right in this moment? It'd take a bit of recalling to recall what happened here at school for a start off. I can't recall most of it. Thank God I can't. And a lot of the things I had 20, 30, 40 years ago, now they're gone. But see what we do, we carry them around in our mind, constantly reinforcing day in and day out.

And suffer for it. Suffering not necessary. Physical pain will be there, sure. There might be a bit of anguish and stuff, but carrying it around and suffering, living in it day in day out, year in year out, every time it disappears, we bring it up again, regurgitate it and go over it again. A dead image. It's dead now. Yesterday's as dead as a doornail, last week and last year. And you couldn't, if you didn't recall it, you couldn't say it was there even. It's only remembered when you recall it, because there's no such thing as time. There is no past unless you think about it.

And can you live in the past? Well try it. Live ten minutes ago before you walked in this room. Go back and live that. It's very close, you can possibly recall what went on there, what you're saying or what you think it may be. But you can't go back and live it. You can't go back and say, Oh, I'm dead. I'm not going to say what I said. I'm not going to say it this time. Or I'm going to make it whatever you've got to do for it to try and change it, hold it, modify it. You can't. It's dead. Leave it. Go. And look at that in nature too.

There's no cloud fixated in the sky. Nobody's out there sewing it on or gluing it on or sticking it on. There's no cloud there. And if you watch a cloud for a while, if it's a thin cloud and the wind's blowing it, it'll soon spread out and disappear. It dissolves into space. If it's a heavier cloud, it might condense and come down as rain. And that rain can form into ice and snow, something seemingly solid. Like our thoughts and images can seem to become matter, material, solid. It's the same principle that works all the way through in all shapes and forms. Because in reality, nothing has ever happened.

And you, whether you like it or not, are that no thing. And that pattern, shape and form, the nama-ruba that you appear as, is no solidity or no substance. Because it's transient. All the manifestation is transient. It's constantly changing. And you haven't got the same body walking in this room if you look at it closely. There are thousands of cells dying in this body right now and in that body too and being replaced. And each one of those cells is suffused with intelligence energy, your life. And that's what you're doing. And each cell with the intelligence knows what to do. A liver cell is not going to become a brain cell.

A kidney cell is not going to become a liver cell. A skin cell is not going to become either a liver or a kidney or a heart or an outer cell. Each knows innately, not by reasoning it and not by thinking it, but the natural functioning of it, its form as a particular cell as is necessary, that's needed at the moment. And the same with when you understand the thinking, what the necessary thought that's needed in the moment will be. And that's what we do. And we don't. We're related to the me of the past. I've got to do this, or this happened last week, and if I do this, so and so and so on.

Some of it might, because that's the way it's happening, shaping and forming it. Most of it doesn't even happen. And yet we keep beating ourselves with the word, which is not the real. Again, look at that and see that you weren't born with any words. And you can't remember your birth even. You can't say, I was born with reality. You don't know until the reasoning starts. And that's the functioning this particular, all these particular human patterns have, the capacity of reasoning. Other animals, birds, have different capacities. Like a bird can see better than we can, can fly. A dog can smell better. Chameleons can change colour.

All life forms, some come from cocoons or eggs. Some come from the womb, some come from the moisture. Life expresses through all this seeming manifestation, which, as I say, is not real, or something solid and substantial. But there's a whole manifestation is that intelligent, what I call intelligent energy. Some people would call it God. But I don't use that term, but look at God. It tells you in the Bible, in the beginning was a word. And the word was with God. And the word was God. The word is God. That's the label we put on it as God. We call the label we put on it God.

In some places. Now, how many different religions have different gods? Using different words for their gods. Shiva, Shakti, Buddha, whatever there is, and all the demons and everything else. And all sorts of different gods. All made up by the word. But intelligence and those words are not it. But they depict it much better. I mean, when I mean intelligence, I don't mean your intellects. What's the reason? I'm talking about the same intelligence that's rolling the earth around the sun. The sun is transient. The sun and the earth are transient, constantly changing also. And the earth rolls around space and rolls around the earth. And rolls around the sun some of the things in space.

And just at this moment, this part we're sitting on is facing away from the sun, so it's darkness. But does the earth know anything about daylight and dark? Does nature know anything about day and day? And when you look at a thing, all darkness is is the absence of light. And all the light is is the absence of the darkness. There's nothing separate on the earth. The light comes from the sun. There's nothing separate on the earth. And when it's obscured or when it's rolled around, it's darkness. The darkness is naturally there. Darkness and light, what are they? They're two opposites. And look at the manifestation, you'll see it's made up of opposites.

Unless we put the label on, darkness and light, what is it? Well, day and night, winter and summer, silence and sound, movement and stillness. These all are words we've learned. Do you think the cat knows anything about darkness or light? When there's no light there, it'll go to sleep. It'll go to sleep through the day just as easily. It'll wake up and do a bit of hunting in the night because it'll see better, maybe. So it can make use of either. We make use of it either. Also, night shifts and things like that do all sorts of things. So when you look at these things, you'll see it's that intelligence energy.

When I say intelligence, I don't mean light. I don't mean your legs. I mean that natural state that's living you, breathing you, beating your heart, growing your hair and your fingernails, digesting your food. Just the same as it is in nature. It's forming galaxies, forming planets, stars, galaxies, moving the Earth around the sun, making the seasons come and go. Doesn't that imply that nature is suffused with an intelligence that's enabling us to do these things? Again, that word intelligence is only a label. But the activity that's going on. And that's all that's going on. It's all an activity. Everything is an activity. There's nothing static about anything, even so-called time, which is spontaneous.

It's not lasting. It's an activity. The cells that are dying in your body now are being replaced with activity. And what's an activity when you break it down? Isn't it a movement? And isn't an energy a movement? It's a vibrating vibration of energy. Intelligence energy, the activity of knowing. In that vibration, there's a vibration of energy. In that vibration, the knowing is there. The reasoning, the words are coming together. The words that are useful. That's an activity. The breathing is an activity. The heart beating is an activity. All vibrating patterns are there. The Earth we're sitting on is energy. It can blow up. You blew this up tonight with a million atom bombs or something.

At all, where would it be? Do you think it would be lost? Every particle would be in space. There's nothing in postulate or think of that could be outside of space. But you couldn't call it a globe or an Earth again, because it would be dust or less than that. I don't know. I'm not a physicist. I don't know how a fire naked can break it down to. But every particle would be in space still. And there's nothing that you can postulate could be outside of space. And space, you can't even tell me what space is. Try and grab it. Try and cut a piece of space.

Do you think this room is enclosed, space is enclosed in this room? Or is space permeating the walls and everything and moving further out? There's no separation at all. And there's no centre to it or static point. So there's no centre or static point. Can there be a circumference to it? Like the bird, the blind bird took off flying to try to find the end of space. He'd be going a long way, wouldn't he? All these little statements I pointed. All to help people, so-called people, to get a taste of what is being pointed to. But all the scriptural religions people have taken aboard and put their own version of, they've got it covered up again.

Putting all sorts of concepts and reasons on it. You can never get it, so you'll never be it. There's nobody who has ever been anything other than it. There's no pattern, shape or form. Or particle in this matter that hasn't been anything other than that one essence that's pattern-shaping, forming and expressing as everything. So who is to seek and what is there to seek? Who is to become and what is there to become? And have a look at that. Well, what's the answer you'd give to that? Me! It's the idea of me we've taken on. We think we're going to become something if we do these practices and read this book and do this thing.

We will become something. And becoming is not being. Becoming implies a future time. And that's what we say. Look at these things. Investigate time. And see if there is such a thing as time. Is there a past if you don't think about it? Well, that's a good start. When you pause and thought, what can you say about past or future? You realize I can't say anything. But you haven't disappeared or finished without the thought. And is there a future? It's the same thing. You can anticipate and imagine what you're going to do when you leave this room. It will all be anticipation and imagination. It won't be the actuality.

You can't live a moment in the future. You can't live a moment in the past. So where does that leave you? Right where you are right now. Present and aware. And have a look at it. Has there been any other time for you other than this presence awareness? When you were a little child. Before you can reason, you don't remember. But when the reasoning started. Weren't you present and aware? And you must realize from that that even before the thinking came upon that, that presence awareness or knowing was there. Because you knew to suckle from your mother. You knew to drink or whatever. When you were hungry, you'd cry and all the rest of it.

You'd had no words for those things then. But innately you knew what to do. Just the same as that innate intelligence energy that's patterning that thing knew what to do in the womb. When you were nothing but a sperm and an ovum and an egg. And a little. Like a part of a quarter sperm. When they came together. Intelligence energy knew what to do. And started to form that little embryo. The little fetus that you are today. What were you doing about it then? You think you're running the show. You think you're doing this and having a bad trite. And that's the trouble when we think we're running the show.

And it's not going right. Because we take the blame. And think it's our fault. Load it down on this believed in entity. And it's not. Believe in entity. And beat up this conceptual image. And make it worse with the words we use. If you recognize and realize it's just a conceptual image and a thought. What's a concept? It's a mental construct or a thought. That's all a concept is. Without the thought what image do you have about yourself right now? If you don't think about it. Say I am this body, this mind. You've got to have a concept or an idea. A thought about it, the words.

If you haven't got that. What can you actually say? You can't negate the beingness. You can't negate anything at all. It just is. Everything just is. But if you're not using the words, the labels you put on it, you're not relating to some dead image. And that's what we constantly do, relating to a dead image. Because that image you've got about yourself can only be based on past events, conditions and experiences. What you did yesterday or last week, or even five minutes ago. That's the image you've got about yourself and it's dead. No life in it whatsoever. So we try to resurrect the dead image, try to fix it.

And you wonder why the hell it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. Poor me, I've searched for years and I've been earnest and sincere and this bloke says, poor as a thought. I'm not going to do that. Look at all the time I've invested in this. I might miss it. If I pause it now, I don't know what I go there. I'm not going to let go of what has never worked out for me anywhere. The little bit of belief they've still got in it, they want to keep it there because they think they're going to become something. There is no becoming in beingness. I've heard that before and I'll say it again.

And can anyone in this room negate your beingness right now? Can anyone say, I am not? If you've investigated yourself, I'm not the body and I'm not the mind. I'm not this person. I'm not this separate entity. I'm not this individual. But I can't say, I am not me. And look at that again, the idea of a higher power, a greater power, a god. But they tell you it's omnipotence, it's total power. Not thought power, mind power or any other power. It's total power. Higher power or lower power. Total. Omni. Omni presence. This presence we're talking about is not past presence or future presence or the next presence.

It's the total presence. Total presence right here and now. Timeless. An omniscience. Total intelligence. Look at the wondrous way everything is patterning, shaping and forming out there. The grass, the flowers, the trees, the birds, the insects, you, me, everything else. Isn't it a wondrous intelligence, the way it's patterning, shaping and forming? No entity to take credit for it. It's not being done by the entity. And that's what we do, we try to take credit, oh I'm not good at it. You've never done anything as that entity. Never can, never will. And don't you sense the freedom, peace and joyousness that's in that? When you're not troubled by all these concepts, ideas and images?

And they tell you that clearly. You'll never ever get peace of mind. People say, I've got to get peace of mind. And look at it. By now, you've looked that long throughout your life, you must realise the mind is never at peace. Never. Because it's the nature of the mind to vibrate. The only peace you'll ever get is when the mind is not. That's why the ancients told us, it's the peace that passes all understanding. Why do they put that word understanding? Pointing out that it can't be grasped with a thought, a concept, an idea or an image. Anything in the mind. But when they're not there, it's the peace, the natural peace that passes all understanding.

And you can only and ever, and must only and ever be that. Again they point that out. That's a chair, that's a carpet, that's a label, that's a house. That, those words are the labels we put on them. We put tags or labels on them. Chair, carpet, house. You, me. I am that. Instead of seeing I am that as pure intelligence, I am that person. Me, Bob, the Australian. And we reinforce it constantly. It's not our fault. Our schools, our parents didn't learn it. No, they've forced it on us. Their schools don't learn it and they force it on us. And we reinforce it ourselves from then on.

Not once or twice, but day in and day out, constantly. And they ask you to look at non-duality, to pause it. Oh yeah, I looked at it for two minutes. I think I'm going to get it. You've got to sit with it for a little while. Persevere with it. See where it's drawing you. You're drawn to it, otherwise you wouldn't be here. This is a start where, if you're thinking of places like this, where you hear this spoken or read about it, or go a little bit further than the other practices you've done, trying to fix the me. Because you start to realise, when you realise the non-duality, it's always taught you, if it's non-duality, there's no me to fix.

There's nothing to fix. It's the totality from the start. So if you don't know how to fix it, what do you do? Recognise it. Re-cognise it. They call it the cognisant. Cognising emptiness in Buddhism. And when we hear that term, we think, oh, we've got to cognise this emptiness. We've got to look and find and sit with this emptiness. But don't you realise what they're pointing out? They're pointing out that emptiness is the cognising factor itself. It has that intelligence of cognising or knowing. It's the cognising emptiness. And I want to follow that up by telling you that emptiness is form. It's this cognising emptiness that has the capacity of intelligence of patterning, shaping, forming you, me and everything else in this manifestation.

Not just here, but in the total manifestation. Everything in it. Everything, that's what I say. And the things in reality are no thing. It's just by writing patterns, shapes and forms that change. You might start to dawn into that I am that essence. I am that intelligence entity. I am that full stop. And you realise in the very slightest movement away from it, I've gone back into the belief that there is reality. I'm saying I and me and all that here as descriptions, words that try to describe something. There's an absolute certainty here that I'm not that body, mind, entity. No thoughts, feelings, emotions, everything still appears in it.

But they're not binding on me. It can be enjoyed sometimes instead of... that's the thing I'm making when I can... And I can take a lot of abuse and things like that because it doesn't sink in. How's the word going to hurt me? We beat ourselves up words, but when you read them, the word has no power over itself whatsoever. Someone calls you an arsehole, what's it going to do? You can get all up in arms, oh, you call me that, and go, you can beat the bastard up, something like that. What if you let it go through to the keeper? You know what letting it go is, you know cricket players, you know what letting it go through to the keeper is.

He doesn't have a go at the ball, and what happens to it? It goes through and does no damage. But he might have to swipe at it and put it, sneak it into somebody's hands and slips to somebody like that, or it might go into the air and somebody will catch it, or he might get a few measly runs out of it. If you let it go through to the keeper, it does no harm whatsoever. The same with a word. If it's not fixated on, it moves on. And our habit is other words will follow incessantly. You don't have to even think about it. We think we think, words and thoughts.

But prove it to yourself. What's your next thought going to be right now? Can you tell me? You can't. I can't. If you can, you're pretty good, I tell you. So you see, thoughts arise. Thoughts play around. Thoughts disappear. So if they disappear, they'll go away. But do we let them disappear? Unfixated awareness, that's to tell you the way to go. Not fixating on any thought. It'll move on. But we fixate on them. And in that fixation, we carry them around. Beat ourselves up with the word, and the word is not the real. Beat ourselves up with something that's not real, with the fiction, fictitious idea.

When you really look into it and study it, it's bloody ridiculous we do these things. And I did it for years. And I'm very fortunate. I say this, Pat, and it's very fortunate, I think, to get out of it. Because remember, I was really... But it... And the personal self didn't do anything about that. It tried for years to do things, it couldn't. But it all came about in doing things in an unexpected and undefined way. I never set out to be an alcoholic when I was a little kid. I didn't say, when I grow up, Daddy, I'm going to be the greatest drunk in the world.

I'm going to be locked up every couple of days and shit myself and all that sort of... That wasn't in my mind at all. And I used to sneer and laugh and throw stones on the roof with the kids, with the old deadbeats that were living in the huts along the river. And they'd come out and chase you and have a good time with them. I did that, not realising it would happen to me. But it happening to me, and that had to happen to knock the arrogance and ego out of this pattern, to a certain extent, where it was beaten. And it wasn't beaten until it was a deadbeat, stiffen a deadbeat, a bum in the streets.

People lived in the streets. People that I could beat up with one hand tied behind my back would kick at me and spit on me. And they'd go to waiting for somebody to come ashore with an entrance fee into the pub. No idea about anything spiritual. I wouldn't have a bar of this God thing or anything else to do with it. Not anything. But it forced me. And it turned me round and made me look at it. Through the booze. I went to a fellowship called Alcoholics and Honours. They talked about a higher power. They could restore you to sanity. Who? Me, insane. The Great Bob.

No way in the world. I wasn't. I didn't realise it. Stopped going there. Wouldn't practise their steps. Didn't believe in the higher power. And I drank again like they said I would. I didn't believe them. I knew better. I was better than them. And I tried many, many times with myself to stop it. I couldn't. And in the early days I was still cheeky. I'd say, you know, I get over this lot, I'll give it a hell of a hiding next time. And I wouldn't give it a hell of a hiding, but it'd beat me in the end. And then in the finish, I went out and got drunk and finished up in the gutter again.

But I managed to get back to the fellowship. Why or how I don't know. I had no intention of going back. But I finished up at a meeting again. And this time somebody handed a book which was written by a Catholic priest who was an alcoholic. Called Sobriety Beyond. And he was writing Honour 12 Steps. And in the introduction he said, we alcoholics are given a second chance at life. And I was like, wham. Ooh. He said, here I am. I'd been here before and I got sober. Stopped drinking. And I wasn't sober in the head, but I stopped sober as far as the alcohol was going.

And I went out and drank again and I'm back here again. And I remember two other fellows that had done the same, the same time as I had. They went out and got drunk. And one of them jumped out of the window of the Federal Hotel in Collins Street and the other one shot himself. They didn't get the second chance. But I did. And underneath it had the question. He was very cunning to put that. How well do you use that second chance? And it was like another bunch. And it came to me then, there's only one way I can use it. Only one way.

Find out what it is. That's given me the second chance. Maybe there is such a thing as a higher power. And that's when I started looking again. And being a westerner I looked into all the Christian religions. Getting up on stage as Dick and Dunk. And I went to the bars and I said, hallelujah to God. And then the Maharishi came out here in 1962 and I went and saw him. I heard him talk. Something he said hit me like a ton of bricks also. And it changed me. Changed me completely. And I went to work. I was a nasty bastard at work. Crooked on the world and everybody in it.

I had a job again by this time. I went there. And people said to me, what's the matter with you? Are you in love? And I said, yeah. But it wasn't with a woman. I was in love with the world. And it turned me completely around. And so the search went on. You know, after a while that started to evade a bit and die down a bit. But that only one way you can use it kept coming back. Okay, I'll have another look. I'll have another look. And ten years later the Muktananda came out here. And I was following, looking into the world. And I went to the Eastern Religions Mall.

And this guy, there was a photo of this guy sitting on a post. Or an empty stub or something. And something about the photo said, I've got to go and see this bloke. And the ad said he was coming to Melbourne. So I went to, there was a few of them that had been to him and went out in a meeting. And helped bring him out here. And carried on from there doing the Kundalini Yoga. All sorts of experiences there. All sorts of little insights and revelations. All opened me up a little bit more each time. 1973 I got married. I was eight years sober before I went to my wife.

She didn't see me drink and none of the step kids saw me drink. But I was still crazy in the head even then. You know, I was a lot better than I was. But I was still crazy. And so we split up. Couldn't get on together. We split up. I said I'm going back to India. So I went to India. I'd been to India for a week before. Some years, a couple of years before. But I couldn't take it in the ashram. It was too strong. I couldn't stand it. Too hard. Anyway I went back and I said I'm staying there until I get down and stand here.

And I did. There I was introduced to Nisargadatta. Now I didn't want to go and see Nisargadatta. Because I was true to the Guru. You're supposed to be. You're a follower of the Guru. You're supposed to be true to him. Loyal to him. And I wouldn't go and see him. I'd often, I had this book I am that. Someone offered me to read it. I wouldn't read that. I went into an Indian bookshop one day looking for something to read. Couldn't find anything that suited me. I'd pick it up and look at a few pages. Drop it. That just wasn't suitable. Anyway I'm walking out and the bloke behind the counter says this is a book you've got to read.

And it was I am that again. And that hit me. This is too much of a coincidence. I'd been offered it in the ashram. I'd been offered it here, there and everywhere. I won't read it. But here it is again. I can't mess this up. This is something more endless. It's too much of a coincidence. So I picked it up and opened it. A couple of pages. What I read there hit me again like a ton of bricks in an opera. His address was in the front. I went around to his place. Straight away. And he wasn't open ended. He told me to come back the next day.

Throw in an interpreter or something. So I went back the next day and that was it. And he pointed out what I'm trying to point out to people for the last 40 years. Not the body and not the mind. What he told me. And I happened to see it there and then. And I walked out the door and I said I'll never be caught in the mind again. But it wasn't the case. I was. But this time it wasn't the same. I was caught in it and hooked up in it. It wasn't the same because it had come up there and then. Hey, you saw through this the other day.

Did you see right or was it wrong? Have another look. And I'd go back and listen. Yes, I'm not the body or I'm not the mind. And you'd get another little bit of clarity. And that would go on for some time. And each time it would lose its intensity. The old habits would lose their intensity. Because the energy of belief, and that's it, the energy of belief wasn't going into them. And nothing in this manifestation can live without energy. Everything is made up of energy. You're not putting any energy into it, it's dead. It dies. And the energy of belief that wasn't going into them, there was nothing there after a while.

And they're not there, they're not going for good. They can still come up, but they haven't got the same hold. They can never get the same hold again. Even if there's a bit of forgetfulness, they might take on a bit of it. And that's what needs to happen. To recognize that you're not what you believe. Each time the cognizing seemingly gets obscured. And that's all it is. The cognizing emptiness needs to be recognized. It's re-cognized. Look at that word, recognize. It's re-cognized. See it again and again and again. It's all there for you to see all the words and everything. How many take any notice of it?

How many of them put it into practice? They come along here and argue about this and argue about that and think this and do that. Do the homework yourself. Because nobody can do it for you. Nobody can give it to you. That's why I say I can't teach you anything. I can't tell you anything. All I can do is point toward it and ask you to look at it. Look to where I'm pointing to. And see for yourself. Because no matter what you believe, you think it's going to smack you on the head with some peacock feathers and enlighten you. Or press between your eyebrows and enlighten you.

Or stare into your face and enlighten you. None of these things are going to happen. They can happen but it's not going to do any good. Seeing it for yourself. And then recognizing it. That you're not this person. You're not this body. You're not this mind. You're not that being. You are that one essence that's patterning, shape, and forming. That's what non-duality is. Not two. Here again it's in when they say non-duality is not two. That's one without a second. It's not even one. And that's why they put one without a second on there. It's not that the second. It's only the one. Not even the one.

Only that. Then there's nobody who is in this room. or anywhere else in this manifestation who is not that. Now there are millions that don't recognize it and understand it and might never do that. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. So whether they know it or not, they're not that. They've never been born, can never die. Now they believe in birth and death and reincarnation and next lives and all the other bullshit that goes on. They've always been that one essence. And just like the river flows into the sea, what does that? It's merged back into the water again. And do you think you'll ever get that same drop of water out of the ocean?

No. It'll go up, it'll be condensed into the clouds and come down as rain again, but each drop of water will be fresh and new and unique. No two the same. Each pattern in this room is a unique expression. And look at that, there's no two sets of fingerprints the same. No two leaves on the tree the same. You are a unique expression. Utilizes as much as possible. By merging into it, being that. And in that there might be the capacity to pass it on to others who might be waiting to hear you. You might be the one they're waiting to hear. They're gonna be disappointed if you don't see it, don't you?

And don't waste it. You are already and always never have been. And if you don't, see, that's what I say. That's what I say. Start from the fact, whether you know it or not, you are already that, because that is all there is. Okay, I mightn't see it now, but as that guy says I'm already that, there is only that. I'll keep looking to see what that is. What can I say about myself? All you can say to put it into words is I am. And isn't that the initial vibration, the initial movement in stillness that they use as a word om? I am. The primary violation of subtle vibration is om.

Didn't say I am this, om this, or om that. Just be a I am. We refine it a bit into I am. Know yourself as that. I am-ness. I am-ness is the sense of presence, or the unfixated awareness, or the existence, consciousness, bliss. The being, knowing, loving to be. There are different labels we put upon it. The that-ness. What can you say if you're not that right now? What concept are you gonna put on yourself? It's trying to make you believe you're other than that. Any questions or any doubts, we'll get into it. Kat will give you a version of it now. I think it's time for questions.

I think it's time to engage. Yeah, you actually, Bob has given you the shortcut of last 80 years, I would say. So, missed out on 40, you got 80. Yeah. Yeah, just dig out stuff, because when he is in the mood of talking, we don't wanna waste it. That's it. Can you talk about, everyone keeps saying, like, don't sing. And I feel like everyone thought, I don't know if you can hear what I'm saying. But this is so good. And so I think I've had a bit of frustration, looking, you know, just in the last week, with that idea. Yeah. No, don't sing. Sing, it will happen.

I can't talk. Don't relate the seeking to a seeker. That's the problem. Just the same as seeing. You're seeing right now. And you say, I see. I see the chair. So you've divided the seeing into subject. The seer, the thought I see becomes the subject, you, and the chair becomes the object. So you've divided seeing into subject, object. But can there be a seer without seeing? Can there be the seen without seeing? Mm-hmm. They're both. taking place in the seeing so it's not divided at all, only conceptually. So don't seek. The seeking might be going on. You say I seek, you've formed a subject, which you'll never get it.

I seek this or that, whether the object becomes the object, so you split the seeking up to subject-object. Dualism. Thinking. I think, I feel, I taste, I touch, I smell. They're all divided into a dualistic pattern. But the seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling, thinking are all the one essence, not divided at all. Yeah. I don't know what else to say. I know you're right. You can separate it if you want, but understand that you're separating, it's being separated. You're not going to be bound to try to fix it from that point of view. Because I said to Carl the other day, I said, I'm going to try to fix it from that point of view.

And I corrected myself straight away, but I said, I feel like I'm like this close. And I was like, as long as I'm this close, I'm never there. You're always going to be this close. That's the feeling I have. It's like this minuscule, like little tiny, like I feel like, oh, I'm almost there. And I know that that's the distance, that thought is the distance. What is the I am for you? Yeah. What did you say, Bob? What is the I am not there? What's happened to that little sip of the... The closeness is gone. You're there. Yeah. But if you really take on board that there's no possibility to grasp it in the mind, then, yeah, as you say, you can always feel that you are one millimeter or just you, you untangle 90% of that, of that damn knot of life.

You understood almost all of it. And now it's only to persist and get the last grip. It's never going to happen. This is all about losing, not gaining or getting. There's no understanding to be got, to be had. And that impending doom feeling from last week now. Oh, yeah. So like today when I left the house, like I kind of didn't want to come tonight. And I just had this like, this little feeling like, just come because it's probably when you don't want to go that you're meant to be there. And like, I'm like, I'm not going to go. And like the whole time coming here, I just felt this sense of like danger, like everything is dangerous.

Like people, this weird sensation. And I know it's not real. Yeah. It feels real. That little nag of sensation taking over. That's what they call the still small voice. Listen to the still small voice. How shall I hear a voice behind you saying this is the way. You're walking in it whether you turn to the left or turn to the right, you know. But it's not a voice in your head necessarily, though it might come up as words to its ideas. It's an intuitive sort of a sensation or knowing. It's beyond words and like. And you've had taste of it all through your life. When you suddenly want to and then all of a sudden say no, I'll go here.

And something, something changed your mind and you've gone out. And you found everything falling into place naturally and effortlessly. Like I was moved to very strongly pushed. I talked to Carl about certain things I haven't talked to him about before. Just overwhelming sensation. No, now, now, you know. And it was the resisting that was causing me that like feelings in my body. Like my heart was racing. I was like, that's just because you're not listening. Not listening to the. Not allowing that free flow of the energy just to naturally express. Yeah. Yeah. So. That was interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful to actually notice the conflict noticed when the resistance arises and just be aware of it because it's also a mechanical pattern.

It's it's funny. We sometimes call it, you know, that everything is life. Actually, everything is alive and this is life expressing. But equally adequate would be to say everything is dead. Totally mechanical, totally automatic. It's just an algorithm going in the nature. It's like whatever. The science would call it a Darwinian selection with repetition or whatever replication or whatever. But anyway, as long as we treat everything as one, whether we call it conscious or unconscious or alive or dead or mechanical doesn't matter. But when we see everything as just one design, one pattern, self organizing universe, thought pattern, sound pattern, bodily pattern, resistance pattern, none of it is yours.

None of it is personal. You are the space, the screen in which all the pattern arises. Pattern of grasping, pattern of seeking, pattern of trying to understand, trying to explain. They're all just that, whatever, that the algorithm really running the repetitive algorithm that is setting itself off. There is no one who does it. There's no one who does the seeking. No one who does the grasping. It's just the activity. It's just the activity. Seen from that perspective, you don't really need to take it personally and you don't need to resist it. You just watch it with curiosity. You see, ah, grasping going on. Oh, trying to explain or label it going on.

And then this is just, this is just what's happening. It's not yours really. And it's not personal. Therefore, it doesn't hurt you. It doesn't. It's just, you know, like every other pattern. Pattern of beauty or something. Pattern of pleasure or pattern of love or sadness. It's just like a weather is changing. Outside weather is changing, but that's not about you. Inner weather is changing. Also, it's not about you either. Sometimes you are in a bad mood. Sometimes you're a little bit heavy. Sometimes you're a little bit sleepy. Sometimes you're a little bit agitated. And those patterns are the inner weather are just the same way as the outer weather.

Totally, completely impersonal. And you are the consciousness. You are the consciousness or the cognizing emptiness. Not a thing. Rather the alive or call it mechanical or whatever. The nothingness. That is actually witnessing. Not even witnessing, but it's just knowing. It's like it's always one thing going on. The one thing. This. And this is expressed as seeming duality, static and dynamic. So there is a space and there is a content. But this is just this. Just one thing. When it's unmoving, undetectable for our senses, it feels like space or silence. When it is detectable, it feels like content and forms and sounds. But it's just that display going on.

So now out of this display, we formulate not we. Again, this is a pattern that we were conditioned. We were actually taught as children to create that relative self or that reference point. And we embellish that reference point throughout life. And then we translate everything as relevant to this relative sort of fake self. But if this, even that dynamic, having the self, believing in being individual and translating completely impersonal appearances and experiences as relevant to this fictitious entity, even if this one is seen as just impersonal pattern, it loses this thing. And everything is simple. It's just stillness and movement. And they are all one.

It's just detectable movement and undetectable. Depends on the senses. And did everyone... There's probably... No stupid questions. Well, there are. I feel like it's obviously not a unique feeling that I'm getting when you're moving forward or like that fear is coming up and things like that being exasperated during that time. Yes and no. Yeah, absolutely. Yes and no. It's impersonal. So it could be generated in any sort of a biological computer. And at the same time, it's as unique as every snowflake. Because that intelligence never repeats itself. Yeah. So you could find people who were going through the same and they would mirror, even as you are telling the story, I can actually experience mirroring the same sort of a fear.

But at the same time, it's completely unique and fresh and new. But it doesn't really matter, does it? It is what it is. It's juicy. It's intense. It's amazing. If you see it as amazing, rather than as something that you want to move, get away or suppress or get rid of, then you have this childlike curiosity about it. But of course, if it's threatening, then survival instinct kicks in. And then you can actually watch the survival instinct in action. I think that's what's happening. I'm noticing like the sensation of, I think, I'm keeping an eye on my head the other day, I'm feeling like the rug being pulled out from under your feet.

So like just when you're about to, something positive is going to happen, it's like, ah, the world's going to pull that rug and I'm going to be punished for some imaginary thing and I'm always going to be that close. So that's the feeling and it comes out in the respect of, I'm going to figure out who we all are and what we are and I'm going to die before it happens. That's the ridiculous feeling. It's a ridiculous thought and so like, but coming up is a real feeling like, maybe I'm going to get cancer or I'm going to be like, it's just this ridiculous hypochondria.

Very good. There you go, you're growing up up with a word if you're doing that. Yes. And I'm, yeah, you're exactly right. But can you, I can love it. I'm lucky I have him because he goes, no, it's not true. Look at yourself, you know, your feelings or sensations. That's all they are. What's anger? It's a sensation. And there's six senses, hearing, tasting, touching, touching, feeling, sense. You get the sensation stirs up the body, they call this one anger. How do you know? Where did you get that label from? Your parents might have said, oh, you're angry or somebody else has told you or you've got the label yourself, I'm angry.

So you put that word anger on it, I'm angry. Then as soon as you say that, you've loaded yourself down with all the previous angers and it becomes something really, next one might be fear. This one is fear. I've had this before and it senses the body this way. We label, put the labels on for something instead of seeing fresh and new sensations. What happens if you look at it without the label? Test it out. What is this sensation? Is it fear? What's it happening in my body? What it's doing to your body and all this? What's seemingly doing? See if you can find it, what it's doing, you know.

Without the sensation, without the label on it, it's nothing. Do you think usually the sensation, because I know that sometimes you can feel like the thought comes and then the sensation comes, but do you think sometimes or all the time, most of the time it's the sensation first and then the mind is very quick to label it or do you think sometimes the thought can create the sensation? The thought might create it, it might not work out either way, but it's creating it. If it's creating it, what's it creating it from? The word fear that you've got a concept about. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to be frightened of this, you know, you might talk about it before.

And you know, you might look around and say, yeah, it's not a tense up in the body or whatever it is, yeah. And also see how quickly the mind jumps in and wants to figure out what is first. Is it fear? And another thing that I would acknowledge, because this may be worth it, when you have all that fears about not figuring it out and about the future and dying and all that, just acknowledge the beauty and the adequacy of the imagination, how you go into that future thoughts, imaginary thoughts. And not only they superimpose completely new, furnished, well-furnished, greatly detailed universe over this moment as it is, but also they actually induce the, you know, the chemical reactions in your body.

There is a cortisol going on through your blood. The oxygen is deprived from inner organs because it goes to fight flight effect response. So it is the, you know, the beauty of that, of that creativity, of that intelligence, which is presenting you with a thought. And that thought is so detailed and is so well designed. When you see the magnificence of that very process, you will be less concerned with the content of the process, but you will just love the whole process. Like how the thought, one thought, can actually completely change biochemistry of your body. One thought can, can take, can drive you to alcoholism or to suicide, or can cause erection in a man, or can make people do bad things.

I mean, gosh, this is, this is the brilliance, the brilliance of that intelligence, of that life expressing. Rather than, than focusing in a content like, oh yeah, what if that is true? Well, is it happening right now? No. So it is imagination. This is the first, this is the first distinguishing, like really waking up to what is happening within present moment, hearing, seeing, tasting, touching, smelling, and what is superimposed in the imagination. Every thought, every mental image, every concept is imagination, including the past. Even when we think about what we've eaten yesterday, it already comes from the memory. And as it has been proven many, many times, every time you revisit the memory, you actually change it.

So the imagination is involved. So it is not there, not here now. Yesterday's dinner, not here now, even if I recall it as a thought. Or future, what is going to happen if I'm that close and I'm going to die, I'm going to get cancer, I'm going to this, I'm, it's not going to happen. It is, yeah, it is, it is all just here in the head. That's ridiculous what you say. Sorry, I didn't, I didn't mean to. I think it's wonderful. I think it's beautiful. But, but yeah, it kind of is when, when you look at it. Yes. And you can even ponder the thoughts just happening at the same time.

Yeah. How do you even pin down an edge to that or an end to that? You just can't. How do you pin down causality? Where do you see it? Yeah. They're just thoughts, they're not true. Yeah. What did you say, Glenn? I was just saying they're just thoughts, they're not, they're not true. It's not the real, it's, it's... Yeah. And they just come and they go, they pass. All those. Emotion. Clouds. Like clouds, yeah. Yeah. I do see how stupid it is. In a way, it's not stupid but it's not real. Not stupid. Brilliant. But I just feel like some, some thoughts feel stickier than others.

They like stick to you like a... That's true. You know? And you're like, ah. It's like... They give more attention to some thoughts than others and they hang around more. Definitely. Polish them up. Yeah. I am seeing this like... But it's not stupid. It's, it's universal. Yeah. Everything. Yeah. And there's no little man moving the little spotlight, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just no Santa Claus. Yeah. There's a simple scriptural saying you've probably heard a thousand times. Oh yeah, that's a good one, and we'll let it go. Just acknowledge him in all thy ways and he will direct thy path.

Ah. And it's not Big Daddy they're talking about, it's that essence that you are. Okay, I know you're there. Take over. Let it go. I was going to ask you about this quote when you first asked question because I... What was it? Acknowledge. Yeah. I kind of tend to misquote it. Yeah. Yeah, actually acknowledge the in all thy paths, all thy ways and it will direct your path because that intelligence is actually expressing us everything, even the thoughts. Even your thoughts is that intelligence, the body is that intelligence, is the, the God is everything, is completely everything, every error, every mistake, every piece of suffering.

So you're being, you're being lived. And that is none of your business really, what's going on. It's just all God's business. God is making mistakes, God is drinking a tea, God is doing holocaust on, yeah. Well I wouldn't use the term God. Oh no, of course not. So it's conditioned to that term what we think God is. Yeah, it was just paraphrasing because the acknowledge thee in all thy ways is biblical, isn't it? That's, it is from the Bible. So that's why I kind of use God. But of course God has so many ridiculous connotation of some external agency far away and yeah, yeah. So it's.

I love my Spanish friend, she goes, oh my dog. Oh my dog. She takes it seriously. Yeah. You were saying in this. Oh my dog, your legs are crossed, Bob. Yeah, yeah, good. Legs crossed. Thank you, honey. Your legs are crossed. Spies everywhere. Spies everywhere. Spies everywhere. Spies everywhere. Spies everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Bob, you were saying in the spiel about you know, in the beginning, there was the word and the word was God. I never really understood what that little rave was all about, but you touched on it like, is that really saying that that word God just represents God that it's the words not the real.

In the beginning there was the word. Word was God. The word was God. Yeah. And all things were made by him by the word. Yeah. by him by the word. There was nothing made that was made without the word. So everything is a word. And you had no beginning until you learned words. It's not just describing, they actually create it. See if there is a past if you don't think about it, if you don't have words for it. I've heard it described as the word means the manifestation. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, but it's not saying everyone goes on about God, but the word God doesn't describe what it really is.

Without words you probably have simpler notions, but you still have like flashes of something. Yeah, it's a mental construct that has been labeled. And yeah, all manifestation. It's like the Bible is saying it's a mental construct. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah. You know, whoever is saying it in the Bible. I didn't think they were up to that when they were writing it. No, it's in the beginning. Yeah. It's the beginning of St. John, isn't it? Yeah, it's John. Yeah. I had no word in my mind. No, it isn't. Yeah. St. John. I've read it a few times. Yeah, it is pretty powerful thing to actually grasp, to see how much language completely alters the experience.

Like without the language, without the thought, the experience is completely present here and now. There is no future in it, there is no past in it without the words, without the labels, without thoughts. Yeah. Every thought, idea and word, every word, words are that one essence. Everything was made by the word, nothing made what was made. Without the word, what have you got? What was the thought? What can you say? It's the thing that... The cat hasn't got any words, it's saying, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling. No, it's a human sort of quality that we developed language that can pass on concepts to each other. Yeah.

And by that time you've got to realise that the word's not the enemy either. It can be very useful. When we take it and relate it to a belief in an entity, that's when it becomes self-destructive. Because the same word that tells me I'm fearful, tells me I'm anxious, tells me I'm depressed or unhappy. This is good and bad. You call it a pest all you like and it would never know. That's right. Bob called the little darling Pestos. Yeah, that's a good name for it. It never knows. That's number one and number two, right? Look at this. Yeah. It's a good name. Yeah. It's a good name.

Yeah. It's a good name. Yeah. It's a good name. Look at this little darling. It's kind of a thing too that we kind of assume that because there's a word for something that that thing actually exists. Yeah. They take abstract concepts. So something like perfection for instance and then you can beat yourself up like I'm not perfect. I'll never be perfect. What the hell is perfect? What a wonderful example. Wonderful. Yes. Any sort of ideal. Anything that is not. Yeah. Anything that is not. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing is perfect and we aspire to it. And the other thing is you look at it, perfect, perfect is everything.

What can you take to add to the perfect? What can you take away from it? The same with the absolute, what can you add to the absolute? What can you take away from it? So it's always and ever is absolute and perfect. Put it in the great perfectionist non-conceptual awareness. When we're not using any concepts. We're not trying to damage the perfect then. And the catcher says, meow, meow, meow. It's as good as any word has ever, any word has ever. Was that you or the cat? It was the chair. The chair part of it. Yeah, it was your elbow on it. Yes, and now I took all that...

It's only sound, isn't it? Yes. Exactly, seeing words. Sound, sound's a vibration. Vibration's a movement of energy. It's only energy. And it's the meaning that we assign to it, and the belief coming with the meaning. What a miracle, what an amazing process. So if you let a kid fall over, they'll just jump up, but if you go running over and hugging them and crying, the kid will be going, oh, something's going on here, and develop a whole set of different reactions. Yeah. The meaning's just another concept. It is. But I actually like to look at the thought process. The thoughts and words from the perspective not of the individual who is tormented by them, but from the intelligence of life that is having so much more of the room for expression.

By the invention of language, suddenly, in one thought, you have completely new universe created, and every single unit of the body-mind is capable of hosting and having that touch, thousands of them per day like from the perspective of this creative life force or cognizing emptiness look what a potentiality of Expression through every biocomputer thousands of universes mental images Fabulous, but we're looking at this. I am me, but when I feel I'm inferior or I'm feeling yeah that hurts Thoughts are evil. We shouldn't have thoughts thoughts are marvelous the absolutely marvelous of course if one of the thoughts Because it really as just happening this way one of the thoughts is there is the self-centered.

It's not really one It's just a complex sort of a construct made of past experiences if that one is assigned a role and given a meaning as a Center or reference point and and everything else is translated to it, then that reference point is experiencing suffering. That fictitious reference point is experiencing fictitious suffering. But it doesn't feel fictitious, it feels very, very real. That's the beauty of it. Just like the rainbow feels real. I'm starting to think shopping centres are marvellous, and that was a surprise. It was just because a filter left, really, more than anything was put in. It was like, wow, all this amazing stuff.

It happened. Yeah. It was like, wow, that was an interesting filter that went in. Before it was like, oh, it's just commercial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I enjoyed shopping centres a lot more than I might have five years ago. It opened up to shopping centres. Yeah, actually, just looking at the world as the means of expression, as the extreme. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just an incredible variety of ways of expressing itself, that one life that I am. Then nothing needs judgement, because we are conditioned, oh, no, no, this is consumerism, this is evil, this is bad, we should despise it. Says who? Another thought. Some incredible stuff that we are.

Yeah. You look at it. It's like if you see everything for what it is, just the manifestation, passing phenomena, something that is here now and it's not going to last. You can't help but really love it, marvel at it. It's not dangerous. It's not to be suppressed or taken away or resisted or anything. It's incredible. I read how clever is that. Yeah, exactly. Particles and so many colours. Yeah. You don't really even need to look into the details. Yeah, we don't read the details. They just pop out. They just pop out. Yeah, but yeah. It just pops out, oh my God, oh wow, oh wow.

But even for diarrhoea, there has to be the presence, the awareness of being, and there have to be a lot of things. I prefer your other explanation. Is activity noticed and activity not noticed? You don't need this whole awareness thing. You just go with activity noticed and activity not noticed. You don't need the whole noticing, you just need awareness. That's the same thing. You just like different things. It's a different word. Noticing is awareness. I don't have the noticing either. It's just popping, popping out, popping out, popping out. Yeah, but whether the popping up happens. There's no noticing of it, it just pops. Yes. Stop there.

Exactly. But if there is no knowing of it, there's no pop. I don't know. Don't have to think about that. Exactly. You don't know. I only have to create that argument. If I don't create the argument, there's just pop and that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a different thing. It's just a different thing. It's not the same thing. You can modify the awareness of presence to presence. But it's still the same thing. No, it's just activity. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Description of just activity. It doesn't matter which words you use. The word is never the thing. You may think you have better words than others, but they are all not a thing.

Just activity. Yeah. After that, you're thinking. Yeah. Yeah. Well, not you're thinking, but thinking occurs. Even activity is just a word. It's not it. Just blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Whatever. Yeah. Whatever. Thinking is just activity. Yeah. Yeah. yeah but if no meaning making happens at all there's just the awareness concept just never shows no shows yeah daniel is saying hi today danielle yes found it interesting because bob talked about pretty much one of the things i've kind of been going through again and it's just that need i guess after you know you can say the self has been quite clearly recognized and just that need for continual recognition again and again and so kind of my process at the moment it kind of cycles between what i'd call self-abidance and when then maybe i might get caught up in thought a little bit then it's self-inquiry and that brings me back to abundance again so i don't know if i even really had any questions because that's pretty intuitively known how the process goes from here and then i guess you stop feeding that with the energy and it just falls away falls away falls away and i guess that's how it goes beautiful beautiful having no questions but sharing that that dynamic is actually helpful it is chucking it out there and sometimes a little thing just turns up some blah blah and two days later the blah blah turns up and it points to nothing it's great yeah we're very lucky that you you're so clear when we met because i'm quite clearly insane it's been almost eight years and then it hasn't you know what a concept well you know still identified with daughters and things yeah but that's that's you know like if you look around he is insane and you're totally saying you're totally average everybody identifies with the self-image everyone's crazy yeah yeah and if not for the prior identification with the concept there would be no freedom from it it's just like cat you know it doesn't identify with the self-center and doesn't wake up from it it just is there's a lot of people think jim here is pretty nuts is amazing yeah some people think bob is nuts some people say on his book review avoid him like a plug he could steal your mind i had to laugh because i was reading a review someone left for one of bob's books and what did they even say because i wondered out here it was basically that i think they were basically complaining because everything was so straightforward and clear in a way this is how i took their review because they were like there was no basically juice for their mind to get into so they were just like that the next person was like so amazingly clear at one point it's so clear my friend apparently a while back the christians were afraid of yoga because they thought the devil would get in the gaps which i find funny because when you do the pentecostal anglican churches my dad got into that for a little bit when i was a teenager and um which i found really hypocritical at the time so he'd be like oh yeah and then someone from church would call and just say you don't look like a liar you just look like a stupid bitch and i was like oh what the fuck is this that's what i've been doing with my life for a long time he'd be like, bless you, bless you brother.

And I was this little kid like, what? What's wrong with you? And so one day at church they were doing the laying of hands where everyone's falling over. I'm like, right, if this is real, I'm going to go up. And I stood up there and I was like, okay, I'm ready to believe. And I stood there and they asked me to sit down. The only one, because they're like, with you, with you, you know, these little pushes. I'm like, no, no, no, no. I want the real cow to knock me out. And he was like, you should sit down. I was like, oh, okay. That was the end of Christianity for me as a teenager.

Easy way out. Yeah. That idea of one God smiting people, I never liked. I think I'm a bit too much of an anarchist for that. You know, like, if you touch this, I will burn down your village and I will, like, murder you. And I will kill your children and anyone who's ever said eyes on you because you're so evil for touching this idol. It's like, really? It seems to be quite a personality that they would have been God, isn't it? It's a real, like, a very human-like person. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, like, coming into this sort of thing and noticing now the difference in the parables, like, when you do that turnaround and notice, you know, like, don't build your house on sand, but dig down and build your house on rock.

It's like, ah, now I get what they're talking about. Paul misunderstood Jesus. You know? So, I'm like, I get it now. Yeah, it totally makes sense. Mm. Yeah, the beautiful stories. Yeah. Jesus said, I do nothing on my own, you know. I don't mind nothing. The Father wouldn't do it for me. Yeah, yeah. And people said, There's no big Daddy in the world. Yeah. And people think, oh, well, he's the Son of God. That's right. He's the only one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he says, Father and I are one. Yeah. Yeah. But they get that mistake. When they say the Son of God, they go, S-O-N.

It should be S-U-N. The light. The light of God. The light that shines through is the Son. Let your body be full of light. Let your eye be single and your body be full of light. Single eye. It's only the one. All sons of God. Now you're making sense, Cliff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're done. We're done. What do you mean, we all? It's just one. Just one son. I will listen to the whole sin and repentance. And sin being, as I think Janice said, to miss the point. Yes. And to repent to be to change a point of view, change direction. Yeah.

Yeah. Instead of, I'm so sorry that I coveted my neighbor's wife. Yes. No. No. Oh, we'll do it. It's just funny that that's so grossly mistranslated. And everything to reinforce the doer. Sin, mea culpa, I'm guilty. I am powerful, I can do something against God, so I'm equally powerful as God if I can break His will. His will was not to eat the apple, I've eaten it. Oh my God. I'm not a very omnipotent God then, is I? What a weak God. Jacob who was fighting with angel, he says to the angel at some point, you know, if you're not going to give me the blessing that his brother was getting, was supposed to get, then I'll just, I'll fire you, I'll change you.

And he got the blessing. So the God was actually obliging. Of course, that's twisting the analogy. That's what he's like. You know, the God is like, oh, okay. All right. Hi, Danielle. Is Danielle in Holland? I don't know. Where is she? Yeah, she's probably in Holland. She's watching this from Holland. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. And Judith is with us and we just got second postcard from Judith is there. She sends love to everyone, naming you, you, you, and the other names that she doesn't remember. She still sends love. Hi, Judith. You're the Marianothology. There's somebody named Judith. She's a miracle. earlier people to go this had like the real story in the campfire story so you know the real story is that they figured out they could travel at night you know get there faster the campfire story I was married caught the son of the net you know humanity's been doing that forever somebody says some truth and then other people come up with some kind of thing doesn't make sense and then some rationale for why it doesn't make sense separate it from three time one umbrella religion that comes from the teachings of one awakened kind of person come back and then even within that religion then they all interpret the teachings in their own way they interpret the teachings in their own way way and there's a myriad of different schools within that one religion it's insane all words words made flesh and suddenly the thousand religions are out of one that's so funny watching this um video the other day and someone's explaining different schools of non-duality and as it's explaining each one i'm just thinking he's saying the same thing i don't know i even understand the minute little distinctions that he's even making it's like if it's non-duality it's you know the one without a second it's how can there be different non-dualities three different non-dialogues maybe it was a second without this second without first one without a second again and just comes to the different ones getting different words and different ways of expressing the same thing and people taking the words as being more important than what's actually being pointed towards exactly that's the whole problem yeah looking at the finger instead of looking at the moon like you were saying how there's like i'm not a word for i can't remember but in your on sunday how there's not a word we're saying um you use the word importance but it doesn't matter it doesn't matter there's no words for that which is how do you translate something yeah if there's no yeah i went for it exactly you don't yeah they just don't exist i had a friend who was studying medieval languages and they're just concepts that don't exist anymore you know something for i don't know what you're doing next to someone who's doing their dishes while you do something you know there's just things that don't exist anymore and so they just don't exist yeah yeah meanings are lost not happening right now but then every moment concepts the concepts aren't happening right now you know there's either no concept happening or one concept is happening but all the rest don't exist right now almost immediately exactly yeah the past doesn't exist if you don't think about it the future the future fears they don't exist unless you think about them there might be some neural pathway but that's beyond that nothing's going on even the neural pathway only exists when you think about it yeah and and yeah beyond that it's just whatever activity if it's not activated right then it's not activated right then yeah the stomach the stomach speaks yeah just to change the subject i find it hard not to story around the second second brain that's the language that the cats speak yeah they're meowing sometimes when they're hungry but again they don't do it it just happens that's amazing that's another thing that's actually quite amazing to watch how everything just happens how nobody does anything at all like the animals are easy and obvious one but when tony mentioned heartburn she doesn't do it it just happens and sometimes it doesn't and the thoughts they also just happens the sounds just happen everything just happens so how how could that be personal in any ways just watching manifestation happen mental image is happening a lot more than you is the pattern right people keep coming up with lots of sort of hide and seek messages goodness such things like daydreaming we can often catch ourselves oh i was just fantasizing about this whatever vacation or whatever or i was rehearsing the conversation that is difficult in head daydreaming it just happens nobody does it and then we often say i got caught up in the thought who got caught up there's nobody to be called up it's just said before it's another channel for expression so it's almost like a form taught form it just took the took the screen it just stole the show for a moment for a minute or an hour or whatever and then something else the feeling the emotion the the forms and then and really nobody gets caught up it's just the screen and the content so sometimes the content is a persistent story that that rounds around the center that is me and it feels like it is a personal it feels like there is a me of course it feels real just like the past feels real like how real it feels that yesterday I was at work my gosh of course I was at work they paid me for it I bought the lunch today for it yes it's real but no it's only in the imagination which I'm actually recalling right now right now is the only time there is there is the only reality the whole past exists right now that's the that's the only omnipotence of this manifestation the whole past comes into existence and it has been seemingly lived for last four years it's just a time we live now you know what I mean it's a time the whole past comes into existence and it has been seemingly lived for last four years and I'm like I'm 40 years or 40 million years in the case of the globe or whatever.

But it's all just right now. The time is invented by the mind to organise, to make sense of the richness of that appearance, of that manifestation. It's simply so juicy and so rich and it's so multi-dimensional that it can't be grasped at all. But to make it simpler, the senses invented the space and put out the appearance in the space and the mind invented a time so it can pack up more of that magnificence and kind of have a glimpse of it. But really there is no time. Really nobody has ever experienced yesterday other ways than just recalling the memory in this eternity which is the moment now.

And it feels so real. That's the point. That's the point. That's the brilliance of it. It feels that my body was growing for 40 years and it is this shape and this size right now because of all the prior growing that was happening. Yes, but all this growing, happening, all that past happening is just now. All the time. All the aeons. All the mental concepts are just happening. It's just happening. It's just happening. It's happening now. I just realised before why I've always been so delighted to be caught off guard. Like it's just been a delight. Like if I wake up, it happens very rarely, but if I wake up and I don't realise where I am, love it.

Absolutely love it. Or catch myself, you know, I haven't done something I didn't expect to do, like jump out of bed when I didn't want to get out because it's too cold. Just love the spontaneity, seeing spontaneity really unfold. And obviously because I love the gaps, you know, I love it. Mm-hmm. And now I know why I always loved that, that being disoriented or discombobulated. The Australians use quite a lot as a word. Yeah. It's dumb. Yeah, that's a blessing. It's because it's the gap. I've always loved that. Yeah. That's a blessing because very often people react to disorientation with panic, with hysteria. And I remember my own experiences that, oh boy, nearly killed me.

I thought I'll jump out the window because suddenly I had an insight into thousand universes at the same time and I could not possibly make sense of it. And it was so frightening because we were also conditioned to actually make sense of things and understand things and find security in seemingly understanding it until the point that we would even put the label on something and we would think, oh, we know what it is now. There's nothing to fear. You never had that, Jo? You never had the, like, fear of monsters under the bed or something? I was going to have those but just... Yeah. Yeah.

That's... What's going on with you? And that's beautiful. To actually find comfort, to be able to find comfort in not knowing. In, ah, I'm not sure where I am. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of confusing. But I'm still breathing and it's still all right. It's okay. Yeah, I don't know. So what? It's actually cool. It's... To be able to relax into the not knowing. It's a risk from life. It's a risk from expectation. It is rest. Yes. It's rest from life. Yes. It's rest from the turmoil in the head. It's rest from that... Because the head, the trying to grasp and understand is trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings.

It's running away from the gut feeling into the head for explanation rather than just fully embracing the feeling without even calling it uncomfortable but just being with it. And then very, very soon it's not going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be, as Tony says, it's going to be lovely, interesting. Just staying with what is rather than trying to run away to what isn't. The explanation, justification or whatever, resistance, anything. Just not that as it is. No, no good. Something else. Just, yeah. That's it. We think that we can control it. Oh, yeah. And then we try a thousand different ways. Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

Methods to try and control. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we try and control the uncontrollable. That's right. And how painful is that? And how hopeless is that? It doesn't work. Not good. It doesn't work. It actually makes things worse. I mean, it is contradictory because if we say it doesn't work, it means it does nothing. But it seemingly does make it worse. Because if I run away from what is, that is a lot of energy wasted and the present moment is not good. And the present moment, the aliveness is wasted. The habit pattern is strengthened of running away. So a lot of byproducts of it are actually making it much worse.

It's like cogs working without waiting for the oil. What is... It's like cogs working without waiting for the oil. Cogs, you know, the wheel with the teeth moving around each other in a machine. Ah, yeah. Yeah. They're waiting... They're working without waiting for the oil. Sorry, I might only be a half-nerdful. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. Ah, Bob is saying that it's time. Wow. Yeah. Time over. Time... Okay. You have any last word?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Not that last word. Okay. I ask if he has any last word and he pretends that he's dying. It shows his tongue. Not last word... Okay. So thank you very much.