Sailor Bob - Non Duality spiel - On I Am

Jane, Kathy, Tony, Tess, Tony, Cole, Mara, Jim, Roche, Terry. Bob and Kat. Go for it. Go for it. Aww. Go on. Go on. Okay, he will fire up. I'll just warm him up. I found a little secret on the last meeting that when I threatened him that we're going to be sitting in silence, without any gazing, but just sitting and savoring the sense of presence, he will fire up and speak. Because really it is about savoring that sense of presence. The more we come back to that certainty of being, which is the only certainty we can ever have, the more attention rests on itself, rather than going into a distraction of the world, into the conceptual, imaginary.

Overlay. Overlay, which is like the sense of presence or awareness of being as a screen. And on the screen there is someone. On the screen there is a content. There is a movie going on. There is a story going on. A story about me, usually. Me being the body or me being the mind or me being important or me being not enough or whatever it is. Yeah, there is one chair. So you hold it. You keep it. I'll get it. You back? Yeah. Yeah. So one chair here, one here, and one there. Okay. Options. Good afternoon, everyone. Hey. Yeah, so this is what it is really all about.

This is all about coming back to what is true, stepping out from what is imaginary, and recognizing that the story is imaginary is so easy. I mean, you know, where is the story if we don't think about it? Where is the story of me? Where is all my past when I don't think about it? It obviously exists only in the thoughts, only in the thinking. So if it disappears when I stop thinking, it means it's not real. Because what's real is that which never changes. So what never changes, what disappears even if I stop thinking about who I am, what I am, or what I'm going to do, what doesn't disappear is the existence, the pure I am.

So this one always. Yeah. Always stays there. So this one is the reality. So the more often we come back from the trip that our head is taking us for, the beautiful ride into the imaginary world, the more often we relax in the certainty of being, the more attention rests on itself and the more it blossoms in the way that conceptual mind cannot have a clue, cannot really understand or experience. So this one is the reality. That level of being, that level of sat-chit-ananda, loving to be, being, knowing and loving to be, is completely unavailable on the conceptual level. It cannot be imagined. It cannot be experienced as something in the future.

Because it is also imaginary. Future is also, where is the future if I don't think about it? Again, it's just an imagination. It doesn't exist. So what's left? What's important? And what's the? The only thing that we could always rely on, the sense of presence, the awareness of being, the pure existence, the I am. That's the one thing that is not imagined, that has not been learned, that even if someone did tell me some time ago that I do exist, well, I can very easily verify it if it stays. If I forget the language, I forget what everybody ever told me is there. I can't deny it.

Nobody can deny their existence. I mean, they can deny. But it will be conceptual denial. They have to exist to deny it. So that is really what it is all about. To recognize true from false. To see what never changes. And to see what appears on it. On the pure I am or existence or basic screen or silence, space, stillness, appear the content. And in the space of seeing appears the content of forms. In the space of hearing appears the content. In the space of hearing appears the content of sounds. In the space of thinking there are mental images appearing and thoughts appearing. And we often confuse it.

We think that because it appears in my thinking, there are my thoughts. And because they are about me, they are about this body, not any other bodies. So that seems personal. But really, if we have an honest look, how thoughts appear, of course they will be relevant to the survival of this machine. And thoughts appearing in that body. That one will be relevant for that one. Thought appearing, I mean, depends on the definition of thought. But the action thoughts that appear in that animal walking here, it will be relevant for this animal, for this cat. So it doesn't mean that if thoughts appearing, they are my thoughts or they are personal thoughts.

Because there is a personal self that owns the thoughts. It just means, yes, they will be relevant. Same as things that I will be seeing will be relevant for the body. I'm not seeing what the eagle is seeing. They are having much, much better eyesight and they see much more. They see little mice or little grubs. I don't need them, so I won't be seeing them. Same with the sounds. Dogs can hear so much more than people. So the sounds are only relevant for the body-mind machine. And same with thoughts. Doesn't mean they are mine, doesn't mean they are personal. Thoughts appear in the same way as sounds appear.

In the space of hearing, there are sounds. In the space of thinking, there are thoughts. And now, if I would imagine that I can think my thoughts or I can choose my thoughts, the obvious question would be, OK, so what's my next thought is going to be? Do I know what am I going to be thinking in five minutes from now? And if I could choose it, wouldn't I only choose to have blissful thoughts? Why would I have any other thoughts? Like, we all after pleasure. Even animals, they are avoiding pain and chasing pleasure. That's what the body is wired for. But understanding that I can't choose the sounds, I can't choose the sights, I can't choose thoughts, suddenly I'm not a doer anymore, I'm not a choice-maker anymore.

So what am I? And the idea comes, the mental image comes, OK, I'm the body-mind or I'm my feelings. But that's again, is only idea, which is only there when I'm thinking about it. When I shut up and I'm not thinking about it, there is no idea of the body. There is no idea of the mind. And there is no idea of any personal self. So it is totally imaginary. I mean imaginary is conceptual, it's only happening in the head. When the head is absent, when I go to bed and I sleep, there is no idea of conceptual image, there is no idea of the body.

And if there is, actually I was dreaming tonight, and I looked in the mirror and I had big, beautiful, long hair that was slightly curly. I loved it. It looked great. But it wasn't my face, it wasn't my body. The body that was actually manufactured in the dream was for the purpose of experiencing the dream. And where is it now? All gone. But the sense of I am in this big, long hair, blond body was still there. This is something that never goes. This is something that is always there. When we sleep and we don't dream, we may have no memory of that sense of I am.

But we can't deny it. Because we're not there to deny it. I mean, gosh, the experience of existence, when it is, it is all there is. Of course, I may get drunk and forget about it for five minutes. I can have a whatever, a blackout. And I don't know that I'm existing. But because there is no memory, it doesn't mean it was gone. The sense of existence doesn't go. It is the basic screen, something that never changes. The same sense of existence I had as five-year-old. I knew I was. I had different image of myself. I have different body. I have different thoughts. I have completely different mind, completely different interests, everything.

But I knew that I existed. And I know the same thing now. So it seems kind of boring for the mind. Sense of existence or presence or awareness. Yeah, what a big deal. But that's where we start. That's what really matters. Really, that's the one thing. If you want to find the ultimate truth of life, that's the one thing that never changes. And that's the one thing that totally doesn't depend on belief system. It's completely out of any belief system, any religion, anything that we were ever told by somebody else, conditioned, educated. So this is the place to start. And actually, this is the place to stop also.

This is the place where we actually stop. We stop in that sense of presence and savor it, taste it, experience it, relax into it. And there will be destruction coming up. There will be different sounds in the room. There will be different mental images in the head. But if the commitment is there to find the ultimate truth, that which never ever changes, then that very commitment, that love for the truth, will make us discard. The distractions, the scarts, the rubbish that comes up. And just relax in that certainty of being. And as more of the attention withdraw from the mental images and from sustaining the story, the more of that attention is free and is available to rest on itself.

And then the veil of the mind gets kind of thinner and thinner and thinner. And the sky and the sun shines brighter. And the sky and the sun shines brighter and brighter. Until the point where it just tips over and the destruction shows up on the screen. But it doesn't steal the screen. It doesn't steal the show completely. If the idea, thought, or the image shows up, it is very quickly recognized as the idea, thought, or image. And the screen, it doesn't lose its priority anymore. It's not a priority anymore. It's so the dream is known to be a dream. And it's totally loved and enjoyed as a dream.

But it's not taken that seriously anymore. Even if there is a painful emotion happening, the painful emotion is welcome. There is no resistance to it. It's curiosity about it. Even if there is an unhappy thought coming up, again, there is just what appears on the screen. That's just an appearance. If you see everything as the appearance, and you know you are the basic screen of the awareness of being, life is easy. Life is delicious. And even the appearance, because it has to be dualistic, it has to be up and down, black and white, and pleasant and painful. Even the pairs of opposites shown on that screen are not being resisted anymore.

And resistance, I would say this is the best definition of suffering. Resistance is psychological suffering. When anything happens, whatever, I mean I break both legs or something like that, but I don't resist it, I say, okay, that's where I am. Now, what now? I relax and the body begins the process of healing. And there is a pain. So the body is saying, watch out, be careful, don't damage it. And now there is a pain, there is a healing, there is immobility, there is inconvenience. But there is no idea that, ah, why did it happen to me? It shouldn't have happened. Why is it lasting? Animals don't have that commentary going on.

If the animal is wounded or something went not the ideal way because, you know, this is again, it's a duality. It's day and night, you know. One day it's sunny, one day it's raining. And that is how it continues to happen. But the animals don't have the commentary that come up with the resistance. It shouldn't have happened. Where is this going to take me or it's going to get worse? So they don't resist what is. So they're basically happy to be. And this is called natural state. State in which you are in touch with the core of your essence, with your being or with your heart.

And from this groundedness in the reality, in the presence awareness or loving to be, you basically just admire the appearance, the maya. That's how they call it. They call it maya. That which constantly changing. From what never changes, you're just basically blessed to witness that which is constantly changing. And that actually understanding that it's constantly changing makes it even more precious. Because that moment is never ever going to be the same again. So you don't want to waste it. You don't want to lose it. You don't want to go to your mind and imagine some other moments. Because this one is the reality. Come on.

I'll hold it. I'll hold it. I'll hold it. You speak. I'll probably point out here the simplicity of this. The most simple thing there is. There's nothing simpler than one. And it's not even one. And all the people, all the great traditions are based on it. They've lost sight of that with the people who put extra concepts, ideas and images on. We call it non-duality here. Even to muck that up. Not realizing that there couldn't be non-duality without duality and there couldn't be duality without non-duality. There's no one-headed stick. Each stick's got two ends. That's the way the mind functions. It's got two. It's got bad, pleasant, painful.

It's always functioning in the opposite. They call it Advaita. Then people come along and say, Neo-Advaita. How many Advaitas are there? Let's try dividing it up. It's the simplest thing in the world. As the Buddha's taught it, non-conceptual, ever-fresh presence awareness. Just this. Nothing else. Anyone who's not aware of presence right now, that presence awareness is not with you. No. You realize there's a recognition of this presence awareness. I am that presence awareness. Without any putting the concepts, the good and bad. What's a concept? A concept is only a mental construct. What do we call the mind? Is there such a thing as a mind?

If you think there's a mind, show me a mind. When you investigate, you realize there's no such thing as mind apart from thinking. And that's what Shakespeare told us. Shakespeare told us a couple hundred years ago. Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. This architect tells us the same thing. When he says, Nothing can trouble you except in your own imagination. Have a look at that. Imagination. Break it down to image in. Imagine. And realize we're creating all these mental images. Putting on the top there, I am Bob, an Australian good civilian. People like me, people don't. I'm happy. I'm happy. We put all those images, mental images, on that ever fresh presence awareness.

Form these images. We take the images to be real. Instead of pure sense of presence, which translates through the mind as the thought I am. It's I am Bob. I am the Australian. I'm a good fella. I'm not so good. We put this conceptual image on it, made up of concepts. And I say, What? You got to be able to be you, and not just not know your mind. There's a hidden game out there, and that is, look at me. I might be a dead man, and I might be dead. You're dead. You're dead. So that's a simple idea of what I was saying, about the illusion...

In the invader circles, they called it, Set sitananda. Being, knowing and loving to be. Anyone who's not being right now, anyone who's not knowing, anyone who's not happy to be, that's existence, consciousness, bliss. Another way is putting it, being, knowing, loving to be And they say that is all that, the five factors, existence, consciousness, bliss, nama, rupa. I am that existence, I am that consciousness, I am that bliss. The nama, rupa are the name and form. And they say that name and form is maya. All the labels you put on yourself, all the names you put on yourself out there is maya or illusion. It is a phenomenal manifestation.

Look up your dictionary, look up the word phenomena. The definition of phenomena is that which appears to be. So whether you like it or not, you and I and everything in this room and the trees and thousands outside are all appearances in that cognising emptiness. The space like awareness, the basic screen, the stillness and the awareness which everything appears on. Postulate or think of something that could be outside of that space. And what is the very first thing you see? The closest thing to your eyes when you open your eyes is space. You don't notice it. You notice the first thing in it and all the other things that are appearing in it.

And that's what all this manifestation is. It's all full of things. You and I are things before we put the label on where we are in this body. And the space like emptiness that is empty. There is no thing in space. But all this manifestation appears in space. Can something come from nothing? It cannot. So the things as I say that you know yourself, they're not real. They're only what appears to be. They're only imagined, imaged in. And the name and form are my illusion. Where did the name and form come from? Or where did you begin? You'll say I was born but nobody can remember your birth.

You didn't begin until about the age of two, two and a half and the capacity of reasoning developed and you learnt words. Where did you learn the words from? Your parents, your school, your society and everybody else. We've taken the word to be the real. But have a look at it. Is the word the thing? Take the word water. Can you drink it? Can you swim in it? Will you drown in it? Can you wash it? You can't. Does the word fire burn your mouth? Can you heat yourself with it? Can you cook with it? You can't. So what's this word I or me? It's just plain I or me until we put a concept on it.

We put the concepts of other words on it. So you see the word's not the real and every word you've ever spoken or ever likely to speak has been learnt. You weren't born with any words in it. The nine months in the womb you didn't have any words. You didn't have a brain at one point of it. When you came out the next two years of living you had no words until your reasoning started about two, two and a half and you started to learn words. And then from then on instead of the natural living that's going on we've just been living conventionally. So I just yeah I've taken the concept of being.

I've just transferred it into the conceptual imaging, the words, taken a word to be real. I am this body. I am this mind. I am this person. Where does the word person come from? Persona. The mask in ancient language pointing out we've got this mask of concepts we put upon ourselves. Put ourselves on human. There's another word we put upon us on human being. And you call God, if you believe in the word you could call God, is the supreme being. The ultimate being is the supreme being. The ultimate being is the supreme being. being. What if you took that label supreme off and took the label human off?

Try and separate the beingness in this room right now. And you'll realise that's being a chair, that's being a cupboard, it's being you, it's being me, it's being the curtain, it's being the mirror, it's being everything which we put labels on that's discriminated with these words that are not the real. So the Buddhist call it a cognising emptiness. It's that emptiness, the basic space and stillness, that emptiness has the capacity of reasoning, of cognising, knowing and it would have made the statement that emptiness is form. Pointing out that all this manifestation is empty because you turn around a bit and it's the other way and the form, though it's appearing as forms, can be nothing other than the emptiness.

It might appear as all the different patterns, shapes and forms but it can't take it out of the emptiness. It can't take anything out of space. Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Subtitles by the Amara.org community Anticipate and imagine the future, but you can't live a moment in the future. And that anticipation and imagination is going right in this presence about a conceptual future time. So when people say you've got to try and stay in the now, I'll say try and get out of it. See if you were ever away from it at any time, this presence. So that presence of awareness is ever fresh and ever new.

Don't have to relate it to the past. We build this conceptual image of ourselves and take the real to be what we are. The word, but it's not. See how that works out. Something comes up and I like it. How do you know? Well, I've experienced this before and it was good. And we like the things that are good. We don't want to get rid of them, not realizing they're going to change. Just the same as this body is changing. You haven't got the same body. As you walk into this room, it's transient. It's constantly changing. There are cells dying in it right now, thousands of them, and being remote.

So something comes up and I like it. We want the good things to stay. We don't want the bad, the opposites to come. So we like it. What do we do? We resist it from going. Try and keep it there. And don't you realize that any resistance you're going on in that body is conflict. You're in conflict with something if we're resisting. And conflict brings about out of it. Uneasiness, the despair, the guilt, the shame, remorse. All these psychological problems going on. And that's causing the unease. Another way of putting it, uneasiness is dis-ease. You're not at ease. So there is resistance, conflict, and disease going on all the time in this body.

Something comes up that I don't like. Well, the same thing. I don't want to jump on this. Try and push it out. Instead of trying to keep it there now, the resistance is going in the opposite direction. Trying to get rid of it. Again, resistance, conflict, and disease. This is what's going on all the time in your life. And that's why Wei Wei Wei could say, why are you unhappy? Because everything you say, everything you do is for yourself. And there isn't one. There is no self-nature to anything. Try and find a self-nature to yourself, for instance. There is no self-nature to anything at all.

And there's no static point to anything. It's all constantly changing. But the end of that set and answer is you are that. That's how I said, I am that. That is what I am. And you know that again in your language because you say, that's a chair. That's a carpet. That's me. That's you. We put labels on the that-ness. And take the words to be the real. I just pointed out before, the word is not the thing. So where does that leave you without the word? It doesn't mean to say words are going to stop. But the old scripture was saying it again is, know the truth.

And the truth will set you free. When you realize that the words have got no power, no substance and no independent nature, they can still come up. You're going to add all the concepts and ideas and sensations that these thoughts cause. Fear is a sensation, which we've labeled the sensation. Instead of seeing it as a fresh and new sensation in the body, a movement of energy, we've labeled it as fear because we have experienced before, the label of the next one is anger. The next one is guilt. We put these labels on, take the word or the label to be real and get lost in them and bound it.

And look at the way, look at the way the mind functions. You'll see it's constantly functioning dualistically. And it couldn't function any other way. It couldn't be day without night. It couldn't be silence without sound. Movement without stillness. Winter without summer. Presence without past. And the boundary between the two is the mind. And the words you put upon them are the word. Present, past, good, bad, future, whatever. So the words have taken to be real, but remember you function for two years without the word. And in the womb, you were growing and living there. That life intelligence energy was living you, growing it. Growing that little fetus into the embryo when it was born.

It's growing that body and it's growing it right at this moment. You are not doing anything about the growing or the thing. Didn't Christ tell you? Which of you can take what? One cubit. By taking a thought, add one cubit. Take no thought for your life. What you shall say, what you shall think, what you shall do. Your father knows you have need of these things. And your father's that life essence that you are. It's your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Which of you can take by taking a thought, can add one cubit? By taking a thought. By taking a thought. By taking a thought.

It can add one cubit to his stature. Look at the birds in the air. They don't sow grain to get their food. They don't build barns. They don't do this, do that. And the lilies in the field. He says, even Solomon and Eleanor in glory couldn't get the colors and the texture of one of those lilies. So you see, it's the thought. We beat ourselves up with the word and yet the word's not real. It doesn't mean to say you won't use words. There's words pouring out of this mouth now. Is there a thinker thinking these words? Thinking each word before it comes up, I wouldn't be able to tell you that if I had to think about it, because I forget so much now these days.

That's right, the old body is aging and the words are not. So it's coming out spontaneously, like everything, spontaneously, beginningless and endly, always presence. And never forget that for an instant, you are that sense of presence. A sense of presence, a sense of being, a sense of knowing, a sense of loving to be. Don't get bound into the words or concepts. You can if you want, which we have done. Where has it taken you? And you've been looking at this, a lot of you have been looking for years, trying to attain this or get something. But that's becoming, you want to become realized. Becoming is not being.

Becoming is the concept of a future time. And there's no such thing. But if you can, you negate your beingness. Can you say, I am not? You can mouth it as much as you like. I am not, I am not, I am not. But you've got to realize there's something there enabling you to say that. So it's always and ever with you. Always and ever fresh and new. And you are always and ever that. Wave. Yeah, what else to add? He says it all. I mean, you are being lived. There is no agency or entity inside you. That is running the show. There's nobody there.

There is no separate self. There is no separate me. You are being lived. There's just the same way the life essence is breathing you, is beating your heart. The same way that life essence is supplying thoughts. What is going to be done next? Or is supplying, even that life essence is constructing the false entity that you may believe yourself to be still. But because it's false. Because it's false, it could very easily be seen through. There is nobody there. There is no entity there. It's just a bundle of thoughts that are being believed. Once you look what they are, you see the thoughts and sensations and feelings and nothing else.

So as he says, you are the awareness, the presence awareness, ever fresh. Only that. Nothing else. And on that presence awareness there are ideas coming up. I am the other. I am separate. I am an entity. But those are just an ideas. When you don't think them, they don't exist. They are not there. The separate entity is only possible when you think about it. So it is illusion. It is maya. And it's completely redundant. It's completely unnecessary. We don't think thoughts. We don't choose thoughts. We don't take decisions. Decisions come up. Thoughts come up. They all, even if the two contradictory thoughts come up, one of them is already kind of more alive or it will become over time and it will take a course of action.

It's almost as if I am the empty screen. And on that empty screen there is a show going on. Sometimes the persistent thought will steal the show and hold it. Especially if that's very, very emotionally charged. It will just run the show. But I, the screen, I'm still untouched. I may be completely forgotten because the whole attention is stolen. The whole computing capacity is taken by that persistent thought. So there is awareness of being is completely forgotten. It's not given any due importance. It doesn't mean it's not there. It's always there. The screen is always there. And it is and it isn't because it's not a thing.

This is not an awareness or consciousness or emptiness. Or silence. It's not a thing that we could find, make to an object and be aware of. This is not something I am aware of because this is what I am. And because this is what I am, I cannot be aware of it because I would have to stop being it to actually make it to an object in awareness. So that presence awareness is pure subjectivity. It's not something that could be objectified. And understood or grasped. That's why we often say here, you can't grasp it with the mind. There's absolute impossibility to ever find out who you are.

You will only be left with understanding that you are. I am. But what I am, who I am, it cannot be answered other than through the mind. And as we know, the mind is imagination. So whatever I say behind I am. Is going to be a lie. Because I cannot know it. How would I know it? I would have to stop being it to evaluate it. So I will always be left with complete unknown. But the beauty of the moment when it is actually when resonance happens on the level of heart. Because intellectual understanding doesn't really give us much. I mean there is one thing that is worthy of intellectually understanding.

Just one. Just one. That you can't grasp it with the mind. And when that thing is understood that you can't grasp it with the mind. And you stop trying to grasp it with the mind. That is the moment when the heart essence can really shine forth and resonate with it. And when the mind is quiet or even if it's not quiet. It can be loud. It doesn't matter. If I know that this is just a noise. And I don't really focus. I don't really feed it. With attention. I don't refuel it with the attention. It doesn't matter whether it is quiet or it is loud.

So it is the non-conceptual awareness. It is the place which we know by heart. Which we know in the guts. Which we know the knowing that we are. The conceptual awareness. The content of awareness. The computing. Comparing. Resisting. This is all part of the dream. And it's quite beautiful when you see it for what it is. It's beautiful even when resistance comes. And oh, resistance. Cool. Interesting. Or sadness comes. Wow. Interesting. And there is no. It's just a show. But what is back there. What is untouched. Is the non-conceptual awareness which doesn't belong to anyone. There is no me that owns it. There is no me that has to stay with it.

There is just that and nothing else. It's just that life. There is no personal self that is necessary in all the process. The personal self appears only as an image. As a phantom. Just like a mirage on the desert. Or a rainbow on the sky. It appears because of the process of conditioning. The process which started when we were children. And we were taught to label things. And suddenly because before the labeling process. A little baby is actually seeing things like floating in and out of awareness. It doesn't even have the concept that these things exist outside of awareness. Like mother appears in front of a baby.

It doesn't even have the concept as a mother. But when she disappears to another room. She completely disappears. She doesn't exist. And it is about I think science says month eight. When children start to. Conceptualizing space beyond their gaze. That there is something out there. That I'm not seeing but it exists. Besides that it doesn't. It doesn't. In the immediacy it doesn't. So through the process of conditioning. And learning how to look at things. Learning to imagine things outside of the gaze. Of the immediacy. We created the images. And we hold the world together. We project the world that is solid. There are objects in there.

Again the science tells us that they are all just field of probability. They are all atoms. They are all empty quarks. You know that matter equals energy by multiplied by square of light. But it's all opposite. Anyway but it's all pure potentiality. But the way we actually learn to experience the world. Is the world of solid objects. And it's very very easy to see how non-solid it is. When we remember. When we dream at night. When we remember we climb the mountains. And how hard the rocks are when we climb them at night. That mountains in the dream are probably billions of years old. And then we wake up.

Where are they? So it is really very very similar process. So we can't really wake up from the dream in the same way. As we wake up from the night dream. But we can wake up. To the dream. We can wake up to recognize that this is the same mental process going on. That creates the illusion. That creates the Maya. And we can appreciate it. And waking up to the dream. It means waking up from the individual agency or separate self or ego. So when I wake up from the idea that there is someone inside. Who runs the show. And I just let life look at itself.

And let life hears itself. And just completely. Get out of the way. Now the dance is happening still as it always does. But there is nobody who takes credit. There is nobody who needs to alter it. Fix it. Change it. Modify it. It doesn't mean again that the modification won't happen. If the persistent thought will come up. The body will do it. But this is not me doing it. This is not I. What I used to believe myself to be. Doing any of it. It's just spontaneous action. It's just spontaneous functioning. And it's effortless. This is life which is completely effortless. And this is available.

It's available for asking. I mean when the search drops off. When the focusing in the mind. And trying to find the answer in the mind. Which basically comes with the package. With the idea. I'm not it yet. I don't have it yet. It must happen in the future. Future is mind. So the idea that. Oh no. But I still feel that there is someone there. And I still have to get rid of it. And I know it. Well comparing to what? How do I know it? Oh I feel my heart is closed. And I'm not. How do I know it? How do I know that this moment as it is.

Is not just as it is. It's not that already. Obviously I know it. Because I have the mental processing going on in the head. Which tells me. No, no, no. I was promised the eternal bliss. I was promised the liberation. Or I don't feel like Buddha or Jesus. You know that comparison going on. That conceptual noise going on. If that one is switched off. This moment. Is as it is. And there is space. And there is silence. And there is pure existence. And there is nothing lacking. There is nothing missing. There is nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong. Unless I think about it. And staying in that.

Abiding in that. As that. We can actually observe the miracle of constructing that separate identity. And deconstructing the separate identity. And then constructing again. And deconstructing again. And the content coming and going. And changing. And thoughts that presume that this is about me. Or this is for me. Or because of me. And they are just content. Then nothing that is well it gets its due attention. But it doesn't need any more than the normal functioning. Tell me I'll hold it. Okay. Anybody in this room who doesn't already know that. We got any doubts questions or arguments? Or if you've got a taste of it. Tell us about it.

It's open. Yeah. Tell us about it. In the imagination. connection to the divine and is currently there are many people that that they don't got they don't give much credit to imagination and the thing is instead of like being like having our minds polluted but there are physical five senses we focus in imagination is a good way to connect to their in the moment to their innermost so I think that's enough do you want the truth or you want imagination you want the truth or you want a pleasure because yes you can imagine gods and you can imagine you are in love with them and you can imagine beautiful beautiful dream and if that's really what you're calling calling of your heart by any means just enjoy it just enjoy it but most of the people that come here they're not about imagining better dream they want to wake up from the dream it's an interesting something that maybe I don't have that clear but you know it's true you are to love the dream if you want to find the divine part of yourself who knows this may be your you know life will take you where it takes you who knows right this may be your calling tomorrow it might change yeah look at all our scriptures and talk about the divine and God and all the rest of them yet if they really took what they were saying with the divine What do the Jews say?

Here I, Israel, the Lord thy God is one God, there is none other. What else? Muslims say there's no God but God. Allah is his name. Allah put a label on this thing called God. I and the Father are one, the Christians say. Buddhists say it's not ever fresh non-conceptual presence of God. It's just this and nothing else. We split it up, we think there's somebody better or higher. They call it a higher power or a greater power. But you know, there's... What is it? They call omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence. Total presence, total power, total intelligence. So if it's total, does it leave room for any other power that you think is higher?

Higher than you or lower than you? Take advantage of what you really are. You are that. And start from that fact. And the only thing that disconnects us from that is imagination. Hey! Oh, yeah. Interesting. And this divine devotion towards that is so delicious. You don't really have to completely resign from the devotion to that divine being or whatever. You can just... Basically, bow down to yourself, to your own self. Because as Bob says, if that's omnipotence and that's omnipresence, it means your sense of presence is part of it. This is the divine. Your own existence is the divine. You can have... And I always recommend it because this was what really helped me.

To actually open your heart for that divine devotion is because life is so much easier with it. If you are in love with the truth, if you are in love with your nature, with that presence, you don't have to sacrifice. You just... It's the same way as, you know... If you love someone, you do anything for them. Easily. And it doesn't feel like an effort. Because love is that power that gives you wings and you can fly. So if you have that calling for devotion, just see if you really want to construct a separate entity out there to which you bow down. Or maybe you don't need it.

Maybe that divine is all there is. Maybe it is total power. Maybe that divine, you can recognize it in every flower, in every bird, in every stone. Because this is its creation. If that's a creator, it creates of itself just like the ocean creates the waves of itself. So every wave is still the water, is still the ocean. So you, you are the extension of that creative power. Because you have been created and you constantly are. Because there are cells in your body changing, there are thoughts being created, there are mental images being created. You are this creator. And it's good to be humble as individual.

Yeah, me? Nah. On my own, I have no power, I'm nothing. And that's also true. That ego or the individual which used to think, I'm responsible, I'm guilty, I run the show. It is nothing. So it's a paradox. Because on one hand, you are the totality. You are that life. Forming shapes and patterns and manifesting as other. Like he said, the emptiness manifesting as forms. You are that. And at the same time, the little me, that we were conditioned to believe that we are, is nothing. So it's not only about me surrendering to the greater, greater, greater magnificence, but it's me completely dissolving into it.

Like I'm not even humble, I'm not there. I don't even exist. It's a... But yeah, listen to your heart. Because you have your guidance. And through the... Originally, it may start from that imagination and that devotional pull towards it. And it will... You know, that love will show you everything. It will totally show you wisdom. They say, you know, there is a path of the jnani, where you go through the understanding and you find love. Or there is path of bhakti, where you go through love and you find wisdom. Either way, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna get all the package. And you already have it.

It's just you're gonna find it within yourself. Because it's not that you're gonna get it. You're gonna find it. It's there. It's a beautiful question. I always love the questions about... Mm-hmm. What we investigate, touches on what you opened with, imagination. Okay? And imagination in and of itself is a beautiful thing. In and of itself is quite beautiful. Mm-hmm. You know? Um... You know, someone at some stage, you know, imagined that we would be able to fly. It was imagined. Yeah? Just came in like a lot of things do, like actually everything does. Okay? But more often than not, we take credit for stuff that...

that we imagine. Yeah? So the imagination is... is... or thought, if you like, is quite... it's quite a beautiful instrument. The problem with human beings is when they start imagining what they are themselves. Mm-hmm. That's when... that's when the problem arises. You know? Imagination in terms of creativity, it's quite beautiful. Mm-hmm. Like, magnificent. Mm-hmm. But where we run into problems as human beings is when we imagine ourselves to be a particular thing, something or some idea, or some feeling, some emotion, some state. And it... and all of that is totally imagined. Mm-hmm. It's a... it's all in our mind. You know? And then we come here and we kind of get tired of it.

Mm-hmm. And then we come here and we kind of get tired of it. Mm-hmm. And then we come here and we kind of get tired of it. We kind of get told, you know, um, what you're seeking you already are. So there's nothing to find. Yeah? No one to find it. No one to find it. Mm-hmm. I'm not speaking to anybody. You know? And your head kind of goes, what the fuck? You know? Yeah. So... You know, what we're encouraged to... to do here is instead of grabbing onto an ideology, whether that come from a religion or... I don't know, something that's that's... that's... I don't know, some sect or some group or, you know, whatever, instead of grabbing onto an ideology, you know, conceptually, and then trying to live that as an idea in our lives, what we're encouraged to do here is actually see if that that I imagine myself to be is actually real.

Mm-hmm. It's actually... Is it actually a thing? Mm-hmm. Is it solid? Does it have substance? Can I point to it? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah? So, for example, okay, right now, you're seeing, correct? Let's just say that you're looking at that, right? Mm-hmm. You're seeing. Are you aware of seeing? Maybe? Close your eyes. Are you aware of seeing? No. Yes, you are. Okay. You're just seeing darkness or seeing no-thingness. Oh, yeah. But you're still aware that there's seeing taking place. Mm-hmm. Okay. So, are you aware of touching? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Aware of that? Smelling? Mm-hmm. There'd have to be an odor in the air, but smelling? Tasting?

Mm-hmm. Hearing? Aware of the hearing? Yeah? Okay. Now, go looking for the seer. Are you aware, right here, right now, in present time, are you aware of the seer? Who's the seer? What's the seer? Great question. Okay. So, is there a me present? Maybe. Yeah, what we're feeling right now, what we are. When you're functioning out there in the world, yeah? Do you feel separate? Do you feel like you're a human being that has choices, that's making choices and doing things and so on and so forth? Pretty standard, yeah? Is that what you're experiencing? Yeah. Okay. So, there's a me present that's doing all that stuff, yeah?

Well, there seems, seems to be a me present doing all that stuff, so, it would, you would naturally assume if that's the case, that if I ask you, is there a seer? You'd have to say, yeah, sure, I'm seeing, me is seeing, I'm hearing, I'm tasting, I'm touching, I'm smelling and so on. Agreed? Okay. So, when you're looking at me now, you're aware of seeing, correct? And right now, are you aware of the seer? Are you aware of the hearer? You can hear that? You can hear that, can't you? Yes. Totally aware of that sound, yeah? And presently, right here, are you aware of the hearer?

Really? Yeah? Are you aware of the taster? Are you aware of the toucher? Are you aware of the smeller? Yeah? Okay. So, what brings the being, the so-called being, the so-called meanness or that so-called self-identity, into what seems to be the me, the me, the me, the me, the me, the me, the me, the me, into what seems to be real and seems to be alive and seems to be present is just a thought. It's me seeing. It's me hearing. But the reality is if you really look at it, there doesn't have to be a me there at all for all that stuff to still be happening.

But me steps in and claims ownership of it. I see, I hear, I taste, I touch, I think. I think. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. Well, that's the illusion of the I. The illusion, yeah.

That's right, the illusion of the I. Total, total, total illusion. It's imagined. That's why I loved it when you started with that. It's totally imagined. We imagine ourselves to be something. And if that imagination was absent, and there was absolutely no thought, none at all, you would just be absolutely, totally, here, now, present. Completely. Enlightened. Yeah. Yeah, you can call it enlightened. You can. But the reality is, if there's no thought, if there's absolutely nothing going on, zero, there's nobody there to be enlightened. Yeah. So that would be a state of meditation. Pardon? That would be in a state of meditation, right? No. What would be, sorry, let me...

What? What would be in a state of meditation? When you are inside of, like, in the darkness, like with no input from your physical senses. More. More information. What do you say? Yeah, that would... Meditation is to connect to your inner being, the internal, finding the light of your real essence, your spiritual soul. See, there has to be a... There's something to say. There has to be a meditative, to meditate. There may be meditation. Who's a meditator? Just the same as who's a thinker? Who's a seeer? Yeah. Keep going. And you talked about going in, which implies an out. And someone to go in. And that's the state of duality.

Yeah. This isn't about trying to get something. It's not about trying to acquire something. Some state, or some realisation, that I'm going to experience and have whilst I'm sitting in meditation. This inquiry is about trying to discover what is it that blocks me from that divine that you originally talked about? What is it? Why do I not feel connected to this divine, this divine presence? Why? And then what we do is we try and go looking for it. When we're divinity itself. Right now. The very block is the idea that I am and I'm disconnected and now I am is going to go looking for it.

Me is going to go looking for it. But the only way for that to actually fully... This is incorrect. This is incorrect. The only way for it to fully come into being is when me is absent. It's always there. It's always being anyway. But it's covered. What we do is we take the imagined self and the imagined thoughts to be what we are and that's what blocks that presence awareness. So the idea here is to investigate who, what am I? Where am I? Where do I start? Where do I exist? What am I? What am I without a thought? Nothing. That's interesting. Hmm. What am I?

Absolutely without a thought. What could you say? Like without a thought, you couldn't say anything. But you wouldn't disappear. You would still be here. So it's not a matter of acquiring anything. It's discarding all the knowledge we've taken on board. Isn't it? Discardable. It feels like death. Which is the death of the me. And isn't it delicious? No. No. No. To who? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. So what do you mean, think? What's happening? What's not delicious? What is... Something's going on? Something... Oh, you know, you spoke of dreams earlier.

I've just had massive dreams of losing all my belongings. And it's freaking me out. And you're going to say, well, who is the me freaking out? No, no, no. It's just freaking out. It's just a sensation going on. There's sensations going on. of real discomfort and wanting to grasp onto something to anchor. It's a breakthrough. Yes, yes, so Bob has a good point, very good point. So what belongings did you have when you came into the world? Presents. Yes, and are you going to lose it? Have I lost that? Can you lose it? Well, I suppose I've taken my belongings to be with the reality.

Good to know, isn't it? So when Terri said before, when you two were talking, and are you aware, I suppose what helped was there's just awareness. There's just awareness of this, awareness of that, awareness of this freaking out that I'm experiencing. There's just awareness. No me being aware of it. We never look there. We never look there. It's like it's insane. We never actually look there. We're so conditioned to look out or because of the dualistic nature of thought, there seems to be a subject here that is always looking at an object. Even thoughts are objective. There has to be a subject there to be aware of thoughts.

So we're always totally conditioned to look out. Just, you know, that gets kind of bred into us as we're kids and we're growing up and so on. And I've often said at some point, you've got to get it and it just happens. But at some point, you've got to turn around. You just have to turn around. You have to start to become, sound crazy, aware of awareness. And we just completely take it for granted. We don't even look there. We don't even look there. We don't look there. Because we're so fixated and addicted, addicted to things, objects, subjects, thoughts, ideas, all objectivity. So when we see that me is a story that appears upon the presence and everything that goes with the me, whatever's happening is appearing on the presence.

And then all of a sudden you start to, you know, suddenly start to cognize emptiness. I get that conceptually. I really get it. But there's a struggle at the moment. That's my reality right now. I understand. So hearing it doesn't help. It does, but it doesn't. Because what I'm experiencing right now is like overwhelmed. And it's totally okay. Like it's, that's absolutely totally okay. Embrace it. So I don't want to negate that there's something wrong. Because there is something wrong. Absolutely. Absolutely. Look, absolutely. Embrace it. It's okay. It's totally okay. I wouldn't, I wouldn't say to you, which I think can be quite rude when a person is experiencing that stuff.

You know, who's it happening to? Yeah. That's bullshit. Like seriously, that's bullshit. If you're really, if that's really what's going on, yeah, it's okay. Like be with it. But be with it. Embrace it. Embrace it. As opposed to being in resistance around it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I suppose I've been in resistance of it by thinking that there's no me. So I'm kind of resisting it, which is why it's come up in my dreams. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. That, that me, talking about addiction, me is the main addiction. Yes. That's right. That is the one that's the hardest addiction to remove. Primary addiction. That's right. So if it becomes under threat, it's going to, it's going to play a role.

It's going to actually. It's going to actually. That's what I said, it's a breakthrough. There's going to be incredible fear, frustration, all of that. I was telling Bob earlier this week that I was away last week on a retreat and I actually felt like I was going to die. Yeah. That it felt like I had to hang on. The only thing I had left to hang on to was my thoughts. And that if I let go of those, I'd just disappear. I wouldn't exist. I'd die. Yeah. And then what Bob said was some example of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh huh. But I think you would say that was like some example of someone hanging on and through the night, and they thought, oh my God, if I let go, I'll let go, but then when the morning came, the ground was this far away from that feeble. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you. I don't know. Yeah. Thank you . Over the camera is noticing the moment so where something is coming in and then some state of the concepts dealing with the feelings that crop up around that just the pure physical for as long as it blows out and lying anywhere.

Well, when Tara said the scene at 1.3 that night. Yeah. was talking about aware of sight aware of hearing aware that that took it is that just what what um what tends to make it worse whatever it is that this that's going whatever fear may be coming up or whatever desire may be coming up like fear of loss losing possessions let's say you know whatever it is that that is manifesting or coming up what keeps it in play is attention on it just attention on it that's what keeps it there view if one was to if one had the capacity to completely shift their attention like completely shift their attention from that it stops existing it literally stops existing so even like and it can be hard when that's going and I totally get it so maybe what you could do is just you know and I heard this being spoken last night if you just try and attempt to take 10% of the attention away from what's going on and leave 10% for that awareness that's aware of what's going on I know that sounds like a process and a concept but I think you will you will pick up what it is about but that I'm trying to say so that it's a bit like when you first come into the these groups when the first come into these groups we said this before we come in and whatever it is that's going on in our mind we wear it like a skin it's so close and it becomes Who I am whatever it is that's going on in here it's my reality and that's Who I am you know and after being exposed to this for a while you would tend to get a bit of separation from it bit more separation a bit then all of a sudden becomes a point where we are still in the process of the purpose.

start to become aware that hold on a minute there's something here that's subjective that is aware of all that stuff that's floating through thought if you like so and you've experienced that i know you have because we've had conversations i know you've experienced that so the same in relation to what's currently going on for you right now it feels like you're wearing it does you know and it's fucking awful stop saying that what is it bob has something you said before that uh you know the me is the biggest addiction yeah i come from a 12-step uh background and that's how i got to this through and um you know i i see that selfishness self-centeredness related to you know i i see that selfishness self-centeredness related to you know i i see that selfishness self-centeredness related to the me is the root of my problem you know and uh and you know we can point in all sorts of different ways but the minute we see that we are we are in conscious contact you know we are in conscious contact the minute we see that we're caught up we're in conscious contact and so and so that's that's the the me dying without us doing anything because there's no nobody to do anything you know it's the minute we see that see see you you see it as a problem i see what's going on to you as a breakthrough you know because you see that do you understand what i mean so you are in conscious contact look at something to add is anyone in this room unaware right now if you're not unaware you must be aware and what the content you put on that awareness you think that to be real but the awareness itself could you have that content if that awareness wasn't there it's not there it's not a thing you can grasp of course because it hasn't got any shape or form but the knowing that you are not unaware right now also there is another little aspect which i don't know sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't but because everything is totality because the whole manifestation is holographic now you are feeling this awful fear awful overwhelmed with you know not wanting to disappear and not wanting to die not you know that that dread really can you actually experience this as there is there is a love element in it like not wanting to die what more beautiful than love for life it is really like if you if you actually see it as because everything is totality in every element in every situation there is complete whole universe holographic ly present and and included if you actually see it this way oh my gosh this is you know because if there is just awful energy that contraction and that yuck then you obviously naturally want to stop it and the resistance to it is also love it's love for the safety and the comfort and the beauty there is there is this beautiful quote from Nisargadatta showing up how everything absolutely everything is love fear is love for the because this is the the love for security and safety of the body seeking is love this is the love for the wisdom and the knowledge everything is love the question is is it the love for them is always love for the me me and my the question is is the me a little contracted entity or is the me pure life pure a pure essence as it appears and expresses because if the if the love is for the for the me the little me that doesn't want to hang you know is hanging onto that cliff and doesn't want to let go yeah that that me deserves love totally just love it because this is what is this is also the the way the the life is expressing itself right now, so this is also life.

But this love can also explode, this is Nisargadatta's word, explode and embrace the whole universe. And now, if you love that life, that life wants to experience contraction right now, and the awfulness, and the suffering. And you basically just, ah, alright, I love that life, I'll let it experience what it is. And it experiences the resistance, okay, I'll let it experience what it is. And in this moment, you actually, just what Terry was saying, you release some of the attention that is trapped in keeping it real. Some of the attention is free now to actually have curiosity around that, what's happening. And this is not at any point pointing to a denial of the me.

If there is a sense of presence that is contracted, that's exactly the same. A sense of presence that is contracted. Pretending that it doesn't exist is idiotic. Pretending that, ah, it's really, it is about affirming life in all, you know, recognizing thee in all thy ways. Like thee, the life, the God or whatever, divine, in all that ways, if it manifests as the contraction, awfulness and love for life and not wanting to die even as individual, beautiful. This is, there is something precious about it. Subtitles by the Amara.org community And if you want to end it because you tasted the sense of expansion and the sense of freedom and the overwhelming love in which there was no obstruction and you want to go back to it and you don't, you know, the contraction feels bad, that's beautiful too.

Because you know, even trying to get the experience back, trying to come back to whatever taste you had, even that is love. And it's just too, obviously, it's too clear. I mean, this was just so great. I want it back. Isn't that love? And... It didn't feel like for me. Of course not. I don't know how much it resonated with what you're saying because it took about four or five years to get rid of that fear. That fear was overwhelming that I would go to non-duality meetings, I would just shake inside that from fear of dying. Me too. And then I sit there for three, four hours and then we go away.

And before you know it, you're gone. You're gone. You're gone. And then the illness will come and another three, four days the fear is back and I'm pissed off because I don't, I felt like I'm not experiencing that anymore. So I would run to another non-duality meeting, fearful, fearful, fearful, fear will go away and then for the next few days. Yeah, exactly. That's the pattern. Four, five years. It didn't feel like love. Yeah, that's the pattern. I was coming to Bob's meeting for three years, never opened my mouth, didn't even ask questions. And I was too paralyzed with fear.